Divorce Rate in the United Sates of America Research Paper

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Introduction

Family life is full of challenges. On top of all the normal challenges, there are extra challenges for step families. That is one of the reasons that the divorce rate for remarried couples is higher than for first-time marriages. Step families and blended families can be happy and effective, but the extra challenges require extra effort and extra wisdom to make the family strong. This paper aims at discussing the divorce rate in the United States of America, the causes of divorce and the emerging blended families. It also brings out the means in to which the two parents can strengthening their blended family and shun divorce

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In most cases if one was to ask a child what is a family, these are some of the answers one would get: Mum, dad and I; mum, dad, our baby and I; mum, dad, our two babies, grandma, grandpa, aunts, uncles and I. That’s a funny description of a family but believe you me that constitute what a child would think of a good and peaceful family. However, does this really bring out the family as the world attributes it today? The original purpose of God, the creator of man was that a man and a woman would leave their parents and live together.

They would then multiply and fill the other, that is, they would give birth to their children. God’s original purpose was for that family to live together and be happy. Of course, he must have seen some emerging differences on the verge of marriages but he must have a good reason why in the first place he orchestrated the beginning of marriages.

On going back to the same child, a child would think of a family as: they live together, they share, they care for each other, they keep each other safe, they love each other and they work together. Basically, what every other child in the universe would wish for their family to be. The question is “Does it really happen as so, is it fiction or does it possess some truthful nature in it?” That is yet to be realized…

Main Part

In the United States of America, the marriage rate has declined over the years since 1940. Many people have got married as well as they have divorced in some way or another. The reason why most people marry is: Love. However, love is not ultimately the greatest reason why people would marry. This is so because love could be relative as measured by a number of factors. Love may or may not result to marriage, people would marry to obtain a regular sexual partner of every time you feel you need to have someone with you in bed, others may marry to earn legitimate living together, one would also marry to enter a rich and powerful family that would earn you an amount of recognition or even to advance a career. Another strong motivation towards marriage is conformity.

Apart from conformity leading to marriage, one could also marry out of pressure; pressure from external or internal forces. Some external forces are like parents who at one point you’ve really stayed much being single and your years are further gone. Parents also want to have a grandmother or grandfather title thus may result to influencing a person to get married. Other form of pressure could be from friends, either friends of your own age who are already married and they would be telling you that you should also get married. Others would tell you to take a look at your years which could be a sign they are telling you to get married because you’re growing older.

Most Americans believe that marriage that is not nurtured by romance is not marriage at all, however as research proves it Love is good as a start up for marriage, romantic love is quite okay, however to start a relationship a couple must learn to build it beyond romance only.

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With the rise of marriages in US and even in other countries so have been upcoming divorce rates amongst married couples. Divorce rate refers to a number of marriage couples that divorce over the years in relation to the population.

In one of the common rumors passed across people it is told that fifty percent of American Marriages a re ending in Divorce. This being a question of fiction or not is yet to be proved but the truth is that there has been a rise of divorce rates in the US. Divorce is too common in America and that should not be taken lightly, but those who are committed to a lifetime of marriage don’t need the discouragement accompanying the notion that half the marriages are going to self-destruct anyway.

An analogy is told of a young bride-to-be with her fiancĂ© who had decided not to say “Till death do us part” in their wedding vows because the odds of it really happening were only 50-50. This could however be a misconception or a fallacy. Women are said to have a higher divorce ratio than men reflecting the greater tendency of men to get remarried after they divorce and the fact that they remarry faster than women.

The high divorce rates in the US can be looked at, both an individual and societal level. There are several factors that contribute to divorce; among them has been failure by the husbands and wives in discharging their responsibilities. None of the partner wants to take responsibility of his/her roles in the home. For example some husbands, as a result of addiction to alcohol, may result to not paying school fees for their children, this may eventually lead to drop out of the children from school.

A certain Professor from the University Sains of Malaysia said that a low grounding in religion, interference by other third parties in the marriage such a s relatives, a difference in cultures and tribes, sexual problems that are not discussed about, financial constraints and a choice of careers are other factors that predominate the rise of divorce rates amongst families.

Addiction of drugs of both or either of the partners could also affect a marriage and children too leading to divorce. Some partners as they get to marriage they are not aware of the commitments therewith and therefore they get into it blindly. They are hence non-committal in their promises which they also made blindly; this eventually leads to a collapse in the marriage as failure to take up responsibilities is evidenced.

Individual differences such as early marriages could attribute to high divorce rates. Statistics show that the earlier one gets married the greater the likelihood of divorce. The longer a couple has been married the probability is very low for them to end up in divorce. Fast marriages divorce rates occur between their second and third anniversaries.

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The quality of marital relationships matters also, partners is bound to show respect for one another. If they show respect and are easily flexible the lower the chances of divorce.

Societal differences are also a great contributing factor towards high divorce rates. When there is an increase of the economy, divorce rates are very high. This is because prosperity leads to one or both of the partners concentrating on other things like financial projects that he aspires to begin or money booms that are taking place at the expense of family happiness. When the economy is low, there are low divorce rates.

Great passage of the baby boom in the marriageable ages is also a leading divorce factor. Women are seen to be more economically stable and they are largely available for the child so they seem not to care much in a case where divorce is inevitable. They can easily cope up so long us they are able to satisfy the needs of their children.

United States ethical values, codes of conduct and attitudes of many people have changed. With this the stigma related to divorces is no longer there and therefore no is any longer of divorcing after all it’s not such a big deal to them.

Most marriages fail but not all fail due to the same reasons. However the reasons are almost similar in most families. Some of the notable reasons leading to failure in marriages are: Poor communication of both partners over any arising issues that need to be looked upon. Financial problems that are mostly associated with rise in the economy, lack of commitment of both parties towards the marriage and also towards their responsibilities.

Change in the list of their priorities, may be one of the partners wants a certain thing to be purchased, the other thinks the other is the best for that time and so on. This may as a result lead to failed expectations or unmet needs. Infidelity of both or either of the partners is also a great factor. Unfaithfulness can result to physical, sexual or emotional abuse which is rather hurting and humiliating.

Lack of a universal public policy in the United States puts many families in a difficult situation in coping with the unique pressure of modern life for example lack of a national health insurance has resulted to many families to stress of low income and poor and unemployed families already leading to divorce, violence and abuse.

Family resiliency has also been reduced by the US government through the absence of paid parental leaves surrounding child birth. The longer paid leaves improve conditions such as maternal health, lower infant mortality, enhanced infant and child development and greater opportunity for women being re- employed or resuming employment after child birth. This in turn promotes resiliency.

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A nuclear family consists of a father, mother an d their children. Nuclear families can be of any size provided they family can support itself. As a result of the high divorce rates the term nuclear families has birthed the term Blended families which is seen as a combination of many nuclear families in some terms.

A blended family is formed when one of the partners in the marriage has been married before and has had one or more children from the other previous marriage. For example a man and a wife divorces and the wife leaves with the children or child and is married to another man or alternatively, a divorced wife with her children is married to a divorced man who had also his children. In such a kind these a re called blended families.

According to Ganong and Colememan 1994; Herbert 1999. These kinds of families can turn out to be very complicated. These families will then lead to formation of new extended families as a result of a third parent. This will now be a family that is not based out of blood relationships.

In the formation of these blended families, much instability also arises. Blended families may live happily for the first few years but in the case of the children there may arise lots of difficulties Blended families are confronted by great problems such as financial difficulties, stepchildren antagonism and unclear and undefined rules. Children contributes to higher divorce rate among second marriages according to Baca Zinn and Eltzen 2000

In regards to financial difficulties, incomes are lower in step families and therefore there a re greater financial demands both by the former and present families. Remarried husbands will be required to support children of the former marriages and also of their present marriages. This is a very serious effect that would eventually result to divorce of the blended family again.

Step children are also hopeful that probably their parents would reunite; this gathers bitterness in them when they realize it’s not forthcoming. They will in return undermine the new marriage especially if they are teenagers.

The lack o f specialization of family roles and not setting them up as well as informing the children may be another cause of divorce of the blended family. The roles are unclear especially to children who do not consider their step father as their “real” father or the step mother as their “real” mother. They do not even know whether to call the father “dad” or the mother “mum” It is therefore uncertain to the children how much power that mum or dad has over them, what he can tell them to do or not. These may result to indiscipline and uncontrolled behavior especially for teenagers.

For a child, growing up, or being thrust into, a blended family is a confusing amalgam of emotions; including anger, jealousy, grief, and guilty, to name a few. Step parenting is an extremely more difficult job than parenting biological children, with the divorce rate in blended families ever climbing. From discipline to bonding, stepparents are constantly dealing with barriers. From dealing with the ex-spouse, to the resentment of an angry stepchild many trials are in store for the role of stepmother or stepfather. Coincidentally, the divorce rate statistically looks to be higher when the stepparent is the mother versus the stepparent being the father.

The reason why blended families divorce blended families, is greatly as a result of the animosity between stepparent and stepchild; differing parenting styles; unrealistic expectations about the closeness of the step family members and lack of family therapy specializing in blended families.

Conclusion

In conclusion, we cannot just stand on the roof tops and shout aloud that blended families shouldn’t be. This would be a discredit to those who have already formed successful blended families. There of course have got to be a solution towards happy blended families to the already divorced parents. To those parents that aren’t divorced, they should try and solve their issues without involving third parties and ensure they live a happy life despite all the ups and downs of marriages.

For parents who have opted to join blended families it is essential that we kick out the old “Cinderella” fairy tale of the wicked stepmother and the “happily ever after” too. Learn to treat each other with kindness, patience and respect just the same way you would wish someone else to treat you. As a mother make a point of not speaking ill of their natural parent at all. Both parents and their all children should talk about the conflicts and try to understand as well as solve them.

The parents should avoid disagreeing with each other in front of their children. They should resolve their conflicts indoors behind closed doors. None of the parent should point a finger to the child of the other parent. Each parent should still spend quality time with their original children to still show the affection, however affection should be given to all children by all parents too. Remember blended families are not only formed out of divorce, there are other reasons such as death and therefore affection should be passed to all individuals both the father and mother and also to their children. Love and discipline should also be given which will be the hall mark of a good blended family.

References

Blau, M. (1993) Families apart: Ten Keys to successful so- parenting. New York NY: The Berkley Publishing group.

Divorce Rates; Why Divorce Rates Increased: Most causes of Divorce. Web.

Divorce rates in Blended families; free essay. Web.

Details Kids: What is a family. Web.

All About Life Challenges:Blended Families;Unity and peace. Web.

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IvyPanda. (2021) 'Divorce Rate in the United Sates of America'. 15 October.

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IvyPanda. 2021. "Divorce Rate in the United Sates of America." October 15, 2021. https://ivypanda.com/essays/divorce-rate-in-the-united-sates-of-america/.

1. IvyPanda. "Divorce Rate in the United Sates of America." October 15, 2021. https://ivypanda.com/essays/divorce-rate-in-the-united-sates-of-america/.


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IvyPanda. "Divorce Rate in the United Sates of America." October 15, 2021. https://ivypanda.com/essays/divorce-rate-in-the-united-sates-of-america/.

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