Introduction
Nowadays, many people in the West tend to refer to the issue of what accounts for the qualitative aspects of how men and women create/break relationships, as something rather phenomenological. Partially, this explains the current proliferation of numerous ‘relationship councilors’, who are able to make good money by the mean of deliberately complicating the issue at stake.
Nevertheless, there is in fact nothing truly complex about how the representatives of both sexes form and dismantle romantic/marital relationships with each other. The reason for this is that the actual mechanics of the concerned process never cease being thoroughly consistent with the fundamental principles of the Darwinian theory of evolution. In my paper, I will explore the validity of this suggestion at length, in regards to the themes and motifs, contained in the films When Harry Met Sally (1989) and The War of the Roses (1989).
Main Body
One of the most notable features of the film When Harry Met Sally is that this movie promotes the idea that, within the context of how men and women go about establishing a romantic relationship, it is specifically the former who play a leading role in the process. Moreover, as the film suggests, the whole thing is quite capable of taking place, contrary to what happened to be women’s conscious stance on the issue.
The validity of this statement can be illustrated, in regards to the film’s scene in which, while talking to Sally (Meg Ryan), Harry (Billy Crystal) expounds on the sheer impossibility for men and women to refer to each other in strictly platonic terms: “Men and women can’t be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way” (00.12.05). As it can be inferred from Sally’s disagreeing reaction to Billy’s idea, she did not find it particularly appealing.
The same can be said about how Sally used to react to Billy’s other sexist remarks, throughout the course of the movie, as they stood in a striking contradiction to her rather idealistic views on human nature, in general, and on what accounts for the main quality of social interactions between men and women, in particular. Nevertheless, as the film’s plot continues to unravel, Sally could not help feeling increasingly attracted towards Billy, which in the end caused her to forget its own insistence that inter-gender relationships could be ‘asexual’, and to end up sleeping with him.
When assessed through the lenses of Evolutionary theory, however, this plot’s development does make perfectly good sense. The reason for this is that it shows that, in full accordance with this theory’s main provision, while interacting with men, women tend to appraise the latter in terms of what would be their value, as hunter-providers. One may wonder about how was it possible for Harry to end up being ‘qualified’ as a good hunter-provider in the eyes of Sally? After all, Billy Chrystal is far from being considered someone who radiates the strong spirit of masculinity. The answer to this question can be formulated as follows.
Despite his lack of physical vigor, the character of Harry nevertheless appears thoroughly adapted to what happened to be the specifics of the affiliated environment – the urban landscape of New York. The reason for it is that this environment presupposes that it is namely the intellectually advanced individuals, who have what it takes to be able to aspire for dominance in a big city. And, as it appears from the film, Harry was indeed such an individual – something that also explains the character’s acute sense of sarcasm.
In other words, Sally’s growing attraction towards Harry is thoroughly logical – on an unconscious level, she sensed that there was much potential in him. The mentioned scene from When Harry Met Sally helps to highlight probably the main qualitative feature of how men and women go about creating relationships – the concerned process shows that the principle of natural selection continues to have a strong effect on the essence of social dynamics in just about any society.
The film’s other discursive implication is that, when it comes to discussing the creation of romantic relationships, one must pay close attention to what happened to be the concerned couple’s rate of ‘gender-differentiation’. After all, this movie clearly implies that one of the main reasons why Sally and Harry never ceased being drawn towards each other is that they were much different, in the psychological sense of this word.
Whereas Harry’s mindset is best described as ‘analytical’ (masculine), one of Sally’s is unmistakably ’emotive’ (feminine). The mentioned implication does make a good Darwinian sense – the marital union of two psychologically differentiated spouses is likely to result in producing a great variety of ‘genetic modifications’ in these people’s offspring, which in turn would increase the environmental adaptability of the latter. It is understood, of course, that this makes When Harry Met Sally rather inconsistent with the gender-related conventions of political correctness, based upon the idea that, in terms of how their mentalities operate; men and women are absolutely the same.
Nevertheless, the objective laws of nature do not only define the creation of romantic relationships between men and women, but also the manner in which many of these relationships deteriorate. To exemplify the validity of this suggestion; we can refer to the 1989 film The War of the Roses. The film’s plot is concerned with the process of the marital relationship between Barbara (Kathleen Turner) and Oliver (Michael Douglas) beginning to fall apart, which in turn causes both spouses to end up hating each other with passion, and to contemplate the idea of murder.
Probably the film’s foremost implication, relevant to the discussed subject matter, is that it prompts viewers to consider that the explanation, as to why many men and women often decide in favor to end the relationship between them, has to do with the chemistry of metabolic processes in their bodies. The logic behind this suggestion is as follows.
The War of the Roses implies, the relationship between Oliver and Barbara began to deteriorate ever since the fifth year of their life together, as husband and wife. What is more, even though throughout this time-stretch they have managed to parent two kids, it did not seem to have much of an effect on the physical appearance of these characters. These two observations contain a certain clue, as to why Oliver and Barbara have undergone such an abrupt transition from love to hate. After all, it does not represent much of a secret to biologists that the sensations of love and hate are being chemically induced inside of one’s mind.
For example, the sensation of love is amphetamine-triggered, which in turn explains why the behavior of those who happened to be in love, often resembles the behavior of drug-addicts – it is being just as irrational and emotionally intense (Young-Bruehl 279). As their marital relationship lasts, however, the amounts of amphetamine produced in the brains of both spouses, continue to decrease – hence, the well-known fact that, as a rule, most married couples tend to file for divorce through the 4th or 5th year of their marriage.
Apparently, in the eyes of evolution, enabling men and women to continue to experience the amphetamine-based sensation of love towards each other, well after they have given birth to their children, does not make much sense. This is the reason why filing for divorce should be considered being just as natural, as proposing marriage. As the film’s character Gavin (Danny DeVito) noted: “When it comes to your wife, I’m going to urge you to be generous to the point of night sweats. Because the only important thing here is to get you through this (marriage) as quickly and cleanly, as possible, so that you can begin rebuilding your life” (01.46.13).
One may suggest that this idea is inconsistent with the fact that, as practice indicates many couples are able to stay married until ‘death does them apart’. This ‘inconsistency’, however, is rather illusionary. The reason for this is that one’s sense of ‘marital loyalty’ does not appear to be phenomenological either – this loyalty is being triggered by another hormone, produced inside of his or her brain – endorphin. Whereas the love-inducing amphetamine causes men and women to experience a strong sense of physical attraction towards each other, the latter makes them appreciate the ‘coziness’ of living together and growing mutually dependent, as ‘good friends’.
This brings us back to the film. As it was mentioned earlier, after having lived together for about five years, Barbara and Oliver continued to look just as physically attractive, as it used to be the case when they have run into each other for the first time.
This, of course, created the objective preconditions for the bodies of both of these characters not to be producing enough endorphin, which in turn prevented them from being able to remain thoroughly content with each other well into the marriage. After all, the very fact that Barbara and Oliver were physically attractive individuals naturally empowered them as the spreaders of their DNA codes – something that is best done outside of the framework of any formal relationship. This was the reason why Barbara and Oliver could not help growing increasingly alienated from each other through the advanced stages of their marriage – the eventual development in question appears to have been genetically (evolutionary) predetermined.
Conclusion
I believe that the earlier provided line of argumentation, in defense of the idea that the films When Harry Met Sally and The War of the Roses do reflect the effects of the laws of evolution on how people form/break romantic relationships, is fully consistent with the paper’s initial thesis. Apparently, despite what many people prefer to believe, this type of relationship is essentially ‘instrumental’ of what happened to be the biological agenda of evolution. Thus, it will be thoroughly appropriate to recommend these films for watching by just about anyone who strives to gain a better understanding of the subject matter at stake.
Works Cited
The War of the Roses. Dir. Danny DeVito. Perf. Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito. 20th Century Fox, 1989. Film.
When Harry Met Sally. Dir. Rob Reiner. Perf. Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan and Carrie Fisher. Castle Rock Entertainment, 1989. Film.
Young-Bruehl, Elisabeth. “Where Do We Fall When We Fall In Love?.” Journal for the Psychoanalysis of Culture & Society 8.2 (2003): 279-288. Print.