Maintaining Long-Distance Friendships in College: The Ultimate Guide [2024]

by IvyPanda Updated on: Apr 4th, 2024

18 min

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Are you moving to another town or country for college? How exciting! But what about your hometown friends? Being away for a long time can potentially fray your ties with one another.

Don’t worry, we’re here to help. Did you know you can stay just as close as you were with folks back home, even if you’re currently living on the opposite side of the globe? If this sounds interesting to you, then keep reading! Our team will cover the most popular methods for staying in touch and suggest multiple tried and tested solutions for sustaining friendships across great distances.

Table of contents

💡 Struggles of Long-Distance Friendship
😊 Surprising Benefits of Long-Distance Friendship
🌱 Ways to Keep Your Friendship Alive
🎨 Ideas to Strengthen Your Friendship
🎁 Ways to Create New Memories Together
🔗 References

💡 The Struggles of Long-Distance Friendship

Long-distance friendships are fun and exciting, but there are also many obstacles associated with them. Adjusting and getting used to new ways of communicating can be challenging and may even put your friendship at risk. Read on to learn more about these difficulties and ways to overcome them.

You’ll Have to Deal with Different Time Zones

If the place you’re moving to is far from your home, the time zone is the first thing to consider. Imagine this: you write an urgent message to your long-distance best friend, but nobody answers. You write another one, and still no reply. How could that be? The dreaded time zone difference has struck again!

To avoid this nasty situation, always check the time when communicating with friends and family back home. Ensure you are texting or calling during the day or at times you know they are likely available.

You’ll Likely Experience Anxiety

It’s likely that after moving to a new place, you will experience anxiety. This is completely normal. You’ll be forced to get out of your comfort zone. You might be nervous about making new friends and feel acute emotional and physical distance from your friends back home. Although this experience is unpleasant, remember that this is normal and happens to everyone.

Separation from your best friend can cause sadness, jealousy, and anxiety.

You Will Definitely Feel Sad

It’s in our nature to feel down when we’re away from the people and things we love. If you’re going through this, it’s better to let yourself fully experience your feelings rather than suppress them.

Allow yourself to be sad, and don’t hide your emotions from your friends and family. Letting people know what is going on with you will enable them to provide you with the support you need.

You’ll Find Yourself Craving Connection

There is a danger of becoming hyper-fixated on your friends back home. You might find yourself constantly waiting for a call or message. This might make you irritable and impatient and prove distracting. And once you get the opportunity to meet, it will be the only thing on your mind.

You’ll Be Missing Each Other

When missing your friends, you don’t just miss them personally, but also the things you did together. And if it is still possible to maintain friendship at a distance, then unfortunately, you can no longer hang out together. And what’s worse is that pleasant memories become painful because of this.

Although accepting change is never easy, we recommend you face your new circumstances and adopt an optimistic mindset. Even if you might not see your old friends, you can still interact with those around you. This will help you get through the adaptation period faster.

You May Even Get Jealous

As soon as you see your hometown friends on Instagram making new connections, visiting new places, and living a happy life, you can legitimately become jealous. To avoid this feeling, make sure not to compare yourself to other people’s image of a perfect life. Focus on what you’ve managed to achieve so far, and don’t downplay your current situation.

There Will Be a Lot of Misunderstandings

Long-distance communication has limitations. The most prominent one is the lack of body language and in-person emotion. As a result, miscommunications can occur, and seemingly neutral actions might be taken personally. Even a simple emoji can be misinterpreted and lead to a quarrel.

You May Start Stonewalling Each Other

To stonewall somebody means to ignore a person intentionally. If you or your friend don’t like the way your long-distance friendship is going, one of you may decide to cut all ties and stop any further communication for some time.

We strongly discourage you from using this approach because it is incredibly ineffective and will likely only lead to a loss of friendship. Instead, we recommend having a sincere conversation with your friend to figure out other more effective communication strategies.

😊 Surprising Benefits of Long-Distance Friendships

Now, it’s time to lighten things up and explore the many benefits of long-distance friendships. And trust us – they’re totally worth it. See for yourself:

⭐ You will make the most out of every real-life interaction	Each in-person meeting will hold a special place in your heart. You will cherish each other’s company like never before.
🗺️ You will learn about new places and communities	Since you and your friend will be living in two different places, your locations will provide you with a broader range of subjects to discuss.
💭 Your friend will offer an unbiased perspective	Sometimes, you will need an outsider’s opinion on things. Your long-distance friend can provide you with it.
💪 You will become more self-reliant	Separation from your old support system allows you to become emotionally mature and self-sufficient. You will learn to depend on yourself and your strengths
📞 You will discover new communication methods	Maintaining a long-distance friendship will require you to try out new and exciting technologies. You can also enjoy old-fashioned communication methods such as postcards.
🤝 You will still spend quality time together	If you genuinely value your friend, no limits and obstacles will stop your communication. You will always find a way to get together.

List of long-distance friendship's surprising benefits.

All things considered, a long-distance friendship can be as enjoyable and nourishing as a more conventional one. Research shows that friendship is a very flexible thing and that it can adapt to almost any circumstance. It’s the quality of interactions that matters, not their quantity. In other words, you and your friend will still be close, just in a different way.

🌱 16 Actionable Ways to Keep Long-Distance Friendship Alive

Positive relationships are based on engagement, support, and empathy for one another. Here are our tried-and-tested tips to keep your long-distance relationship strong.

1. Accept That It Will Take Some Effort

In-person friendship doesn’t require that much effort to maintain. A long-distance relationship is a different story. It requires you and your friend to adjust to a new (and likely inconvenient) means of communication.

It might be challenging at first to preserve a sense of intimacy. For example, even though you can still communicate, you’ll no longer be able to visit your favorite coffee shop or throw a party together. So, if you want to remain close no matter what, you both need to put in some serious effort and do what it takes to maintain your friendship.

2. Plan Regular Catch-Ups

Managing time zones and hectic schedules makes it challenging to stay in touch. This issue, however, has a solution. You and your friend can start by determining and adhering to a time that works for you both. Even a quick 5-minute catch-up is better than no contact. Sometimes, even a simple emoji is all that is needed.

3. Choose Suitable Means of Communication

Long-distance relationships heavily depend on the quality of the communication tools that you have available. Keep in mind that you might adore using some app, and your friend might absolutely hate it. So, ideally, you should choose something that suits you both.

The internet is full of amazing tools for long-distance communication. Some people use messengers, while others prefer video calls. We recommend discussing the options with your friends.

Here are the hottest apps for you to choose from:

Skype	This app is a universal, time-tested solution for long-distance calls worldwide.
Zoom	Zoom is an excellent app to use when you want to gather as a big group.
FaceTime	This app is a mix between Skype and Zoom. It’s an excellent option for Apple users.
Snapchat	This app allows you to share videos and pictures of yourself.
Instagram	This social media platform is all about posting pictures and videos for your friends to enjoy.
Facebook	We all know Facebook. It’s one of the best solutions for online communication.
TikTok	This popular social media platform allows you to post videos and memes and share them with friends.

4. Use Multiple Communication Methods

It’s a good idea to use different approaches and vary your communication methods. Using the same messaging app over and over will make your conversations dull. Instead, try to spice things up. Here are some tips to help you make your catch-ups more colorful and memorable:

Turn on video occasionally so you and your friend can see each other’s faces.
Write letters and send postcards the old-fashioned way. If you live abroad, buy a cute souvenir and send it to your friend.
Of course, it’s best to meet in person whenever you can.

5. Remember Important Dates

In long-distance friendships, birthdays and anniversaries become especially significant. It’s the perfect time to get in touch and say how much you value each other. Even a simple birthday card will let your friend know you haven’t forgotten about them.

Sending letters to each other is a heartfelt way to establish real connection.

To make sure you remember all important dates, we suggest keeping a journal where you can record friends’ birthdays and other significant occasions.

6. Be Empathetic

If you really want to get the most out of your long-distance friendships, it’s vital to express empathy towards your friend. This means understanding their emotions and being able to observe situations from their perspective.

So, if your friend is angry, sad, or doesn’t want to talk to you, it’s best not to take their emotions personally. Maybe they have problems at college, or their plans are suddenly crushed. That can cause your buddy to ignore or even lash out at you. Let your friend spend some time alone, and once the situation gets better, get in touch with them.

7. Be There for Each Other

It’s critical to be there for your long-distance buddy. Ideally, you both need to encourage each other and keep a positive attitude. If one of you begins to drown in negativity, the other should always be ready to offer assistance and emotional support.

8. Connect Without Distractions

Do your best to avoid distractions like watching TV, scrolling, or other activities while calling your long-distance bestie. Also, it’s best if there are no loud noises around during the call. Try to find a peaceful location, clear your mind of all possible distractions, concentrate, and enjoy your friend’s company.

9. Don’t Be Afraid to Be Vulnerable

We often hide our tears and genuine emotions because we think our friends should only see us at our best. However, the foundation of any strong relationship is the ability to be yourself. Be authentic, and don’t hesitate to share your genuine feelings with your long-distance buddy.

10. Express Gratitude & Offer Compliments

Psychologist Marissa Franco observed, “The other thing that’s really helpful is to just express positivity and affection toward each other — like, ‘I really value you, I appreciate you. I always look forward to talking to you. You’re so important to me.’ It tends to cement the bond more.”

Franco recommends long-distance friends thank and praise each other regularly. It helps maintain a close relationship and make each call a cherished event. The only thing that matters is for your compliments to be genuine.

If you’re not very good at offering compliments, try some of the following:

I always look forward to our catch-ups.
Your support is like a ray of sunshine in my life.
I’m so grateful to have such a kind and compassionate friend as you.
Your sense of humor always brightens up my days.
I truly appreciate how you always make me feel as if you are right here with me.

11. Be a Good Listener

All relationships benefit from active listening. To become a good listener, do your best to hear your friend out and demonstrate sincere concern. Don’t bombard your long-distance buddy with your thoughts and ideas each time you start a conversation. It’s always better to start by asking how they’re doing and let them express their feelings freely.

12. Share Secrets with Each Other

If your friend shares a secret with you, perceive it as a privilege. It means that you can be trusted and that you two have become so close that you can talk about intimate things. The only advice that we would like to give you here is not to share over the internet something that is way too personal.

Friendships can exist across telephone lines, in cyberspace, and even within our minds. - Jessica Thern Smith.

13. Talk About Your Future Together

Did you know that anticipating future positive events helps you remain hopeful and optimistic? When it comes to friendship, talking about plans is an excellent way of maintaining your bond. Try the following:

Discuss how you plan to spend your next meet-up.
Talk about upcoming events that you both will be attending.
Imagine what your friendship will look like in 5 or 10 years.

14. Ask Specific Questions

This tip is perfect for those who might struggle with what to talk about. To avoid awkward silences, try asking your friend something specific about their life. For example:

How are you spending your evening?
What important things do you have on this week?
Do you have any plans for the weekend?

15. Talk About Small Things

You may not feel it’s worth updating your friend on all the details of your life. Or maybe you think they’ll be bored by you explaining every minor thing they don’t know about. Over time, this can cause a rift between you and your friend as there will be fewer and fewer topics to discuss.

Sharing the seemingly insignificant aspects of your life can help keep you in contact. Talk about the strange tale you’ve heard on your way to work, the delicious soup you made for dinner last night, or the hilarious book you’re enjoying.

16. Do Your Best to Keep Promises

You’d expect many things from your friend in an ordinary friendship. In a long-distance one, the expectations are even higher. If you’ve promised your friend that you would phone each other every day, visit new places together, and meet up at least once a year, be sure to keep your promises.

If you can’t keep your promise, we advise you to call your buddy and explain the situation. Breaking your promises a few times wouldn’t cause big problems, but try not to make it a habit.

🎨 Creative Ideas to Strengthen Your Friendship

Now that you know how to keep your long-distance friendships afloat, let’s explore how to help them thrive.

List of best gifts for long-distance friends.

Send Long-Distance Friendship Gifts to Each Other

Buying a memorable friendship gift is one of the best ways to stay connected despite the distance between you two. You’ve probably seen t-shirts, pendants, or mugs with friendship-related quotes or phrases written on them. But there are also other, more exciting ways to celebrate your friendship through a gift. Below are a few ideas and helpful links:

Friendship lamps	These cute lamps are linked to one another. When one of them is touched, the other will light up.
Bracelets	If you’re not keen on a simple pair of matching bracelets with engravings, you can purchase a pair that will light up when you touch one of them.
An adventure journal	This is an album in which you collect memories and plan new adventures with your friends.
Friendship rings and necklaces	You can find countless examples of beautiful handmade jewelry that will make unique and memorable gifts.

Take It to the Next Level with Care Packages

Do you have extra money to spend? Consider gifting your long-distance friend a care package. You could fill it with non-perishable food, cosmetics, or souvenirs. There are many different options that you can use for your care package, such as these:

Huneybox is a king-sized crate full of goodies for your friend to enjoy. For example, choose one with local products, facial care items, or even college-themed gifts.
If you don’t want to pay for a whole package, you can fill the gift box yourself. We recommend you use long-lasting products and avoid sending fragile items. Visit nearby stores and pick out things you know your friend will enjoy.
Is your friend a huge tea lover? Then, you can send them a box of rare tea leaves. You can order them from Huneybox or buy them and gift wrap them yourself.
If there are local delicacies where you live that are scarce in your friend’s area, definitely add these to your gift box. Just make sure they won’t spoil on their way to your long-distance buddy.

Do a Hobby Together

Finding a hobby you both enjoy will give you a bunch of new exciting topics to discuss and make your time together more fun. There are hundreds of hobbies that you can do with your friend even if there’s distance between you:

help each other learn a new language
write fiction together
create cute DIY items
collaborate on a shared project
craft and paint miniatures and dioramas
draw or paint

And that’s just a small taste of all the options you can choose from!

Try a Fun Challenge

Perhaps you want to prepare for a marathon? Or maybe you can’t wait to launch an exciting side project at your college? Whatever your objective, teaming up with your friend is a great idea. Here are some other ideas for a challenge you both can engage in:

Create a gratitude diary and list one thing you are grateful for each day for a year.
Try going a year without junk food.
Check out 52 new movies in 52 weeks.
Create 365 drawings in one year.
Take one photo or selfie every day for a year.

Try any of these challenges out and support each other along the way.

Share & Collect Pictures

Recalling the good old times can indeed strengthen bonds between friends. You will be amazed by what a little creativity and some photos can achieve:

If you have time, try creating a digital album and filling it with memories of your friendship. You can use apps like Google Drive or Dropbox to store your photos and share them with friends online.
Create a chat with your friend and send a couple of old photos. Then, wait for your buddy to react.
If you don’t have a lot of time, just pick an old picture of you two and send it to your friend with a funny quote or emoji.

Cook Something Together

Creating delicious meals and discussing recipes together via video call is an excellent way to bridge the distance between you, especially if you both enjoy cooking. If you have a favorite dish, definitely try cooking it together. Even though there is distance between you, you can still sit down and enjoy the same dish simultaneously.

Watch Movies & Shows

Who doesn’t enjoy watching TV shows and movies? Thanks to modern streaming platforms, it’s now possible to watch them together with long-distance friends. Most importantly, you no longer have to manually synchronize the video file and click the play button at the same time. Now, you can directly broadcast what’s playing on your screen to each other. Additionally, a built-in chat system allows you to communicate while viewing. Kast, Rave, and Teleparty are great platforms for watching movies and videos together.

Make Collaborative Playlists

Another great way to stay close is to create a playlist of memorable songs you can enjoy together. Thanks to platforms like Spotify, you can create and share playlists at any time quickly and effortlessly.

A definition of a collaborative playlist.

You can also sync your music with your friends and listen to your playlists at the same time with the help of the following apps:

Discord	Discord and Spotify have partnered to allow users to stream music, playlists, or albums to one another in real-time. Mind that you must have both Spotify and Discord accounts to use this function.
JQBX	This app is excellent for group listening sessions. You and your buddy can tell the DJ whether to skip a song and what to play next by cheering for the ones you enjoy.
Earbuds App	Connect via Apple Music or Spotify and listen to your playlist with a friend as if you’re wearing the same earbuds.

Play Online Games Together

In a world where circumstances may separate us, gaming allows long-distance pals to get closer when they are physically apart.

Even researchers agree that online gaming is a fantastic way to bond with friends. Your relationship strengthens with each piece of rare loot acquired, battle won, and checkpoint unlocked. If you don’t know where to start, try the following games:

Mobile Games

Among Us	This is a comical game about astronauts getting stuck on a broken spaceship. There are friendly crewmates who want to fix the ship and a handful of impostors who’ll do anything to cause chaos.
Minecraft	Everyone knows Minecraft: a game where you build and explore a virtual world. You can team up with your friends to have amazing adventures together
Mario Kart Tour	If you’re feeling competitive, definitely try Mario Kart. This racing game is full of colorful characters with unique abilities and skills.
Clash of Clans	In this popular game, you build a village and defend it from enemies. You will also attack other settlements and engage in epic clan wars.
Shadowgun Legends	If you and your friend love shooters, this game is a must. It has a fantastic story, an epic scope, and plenty of fun details to explore.
Mobile Legends: Bang Bang	This is one of the best MOBA games out there. It has it all: awesome graphics, fun characters, intense matches, artifacts, and teamwork.

PC Games

Rocket League	What are two cool things we all enjoy? Cars and soccer! Try mixing them together, and you’ll get this mind-blowing game.
Fortnite	In addition to the standard battle royale, Fortnite offers countless creator-made games featuring everything from racing to zombie survival.
Civilization VI	This addictive game allows you to take control of a historic nation and rule it over several millennia. You and your friend can play it asynchronously.
Divinity: Original Sin 2	This game is like Dungeons and Dragons but darker. Have fantastic adventures together, and enjoy bringing out a baddie in you.
For Honor	This one has a medieval flair with the focus on honor and chivalry. You and your friend can battle together and even have your own unique banner.
Garden Paws	This wholesome farming simulator offers countless activities, from exploration to decorating your house. And the best part? You play as a cute animal!

Start a Book Club for Two

For those who love reading, a book club is an excellent option. To organize it, you don’t need much – only the possibility to call your friend and an endless desire to discuss your favorite authors and their creations.

If you put a little time into it, your book club can also become a place to discuss and share intimate problems and thoughts. Once you feel confident, you can invite other friends to join your club. Just don’t invite too many people or you might lose that feeling of coziness and privacy.

To create a book club, follow this simple guide:

Call your friend to discuss your favorite authors and the fresh titles you’ve recently discovered.
Set weekly gatherings and pick a primary direction, topic, and author for your discussions.
Decide who will be selecting the books for each session.
Additionally, specify the process and steps for reviewing each book.

And there you go! Have fun discussing fantastic books and learning new things about them and each other.

Create Your Own Symbolic “Traveling Pants”

In Ann Brashares’ The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, four close friends all fit into one pair of pants, which they send to each other and wear one by one. When wearing the pants, they each have incredible adventures. Ann Brasheres’ book shows us that friendship is enduring no matter how much time passes or how far away we may live.

Consider having your own “traveling pants.” Find an item that both you and your friend can wear. It must be memorable or symbolic so that both you and your friend associate it with your relationship. Don’t forget to start a diary noting the adventures that occur while wearing your “traveling pants.” After you’ve done this for some time, ship your “traveling pants” to your friend and attach a copy of your diary. The adventures will continue for them.

🎁 BONUS: Best Ways to Create New Memories Together

You and your buddy can spend days remembering the good old times. Still, without new memories, your friendship may eventually fade away. Below, we’ve collected some of the best tried and tested ways to experience unforgettable adventures together.

Find Thrills in an Escape Room

Gather your buddies for a thrilling escape room adventure. Enter a world of secrets and riddles where solving problems quickly and working as a team is crucial to complete the task. You and your friends will work together to unlock the road to freedom by navigating meticulously crafted scenarios, deciphering clues, and discovering hidden truths. The themes of escape rooms vary, so there is always something new to try.

Watch a Movie Under the Stars

If you and your friends are major cinephiles, this is the option for you. The charm of movies beneath the stars fosters priceless bonds and unforgettable conversations. Watch your favorites under a starry night sky, curl up under blankets with your buddies, talk about life, and enjoy your time together.

Tips for organizing a movie night under the stars.

Engage in Fun Volunteer Activities

If you enjoy collaborating with your buddies and enjoy helping others, consider working together on volunteer projects. This option is especially great if you have a lot of friends and can gather them in a big group. Here are some fun ways to volunteer:

Organize a charity sale
Paint a themed mural
Take part in a fundraising event
Participate in a charity marathon

Participate in a DIY Workshop

Participating in a master class together is an excellent way to fortify your friendship. You’ll get to learn new skills and have fun in the process. There’s also a place for competition and team building. Plus, you’ll be able to take everything that you craft during these events home with you as mementos. Here’s a list to get you started:

🏺 Pottery	Creating beautiful pots and dishes from clay is a very relaxing experience.
🏰 Making miniatures	You’ll need scissors, glue, and sandpaper. Once the miniature is done, you can also paint it yourself.
⚒️ Smithing	If you have the strength, definitely give it a try. Perhaps you’ll craft a sword or a horseshoe like a true blacksmith of times gone by.
🪑 Carpentry	Try creating your own handmade souvenirs, toys, or even furniture out of wood.
🍔 Cooking	Gather your friends and learn how to make an exquisite dish together.
🧶 Knitting	You can even make clothing items to keep each other warm in the winter.
️ 🖼️ Painting	You can enjoy this creative activity even if you haven’t mastered it. All you need is colorful paint and a painting surface.
🎶 Creating music	It’s a perfect option for friends who were in a band together. This will allow you to learn new tricks and write awesome music again.

Hang Out at Your College

Now, what if your friend is in your city, but you can’t leave the campus to see them? Invite them to campus! It can result in plenty of memorable situations, even though it may initially feel a little uneasy.

If you’re hosting, take your buddy to your favorite college hangout, the best burger establishment in town, the most delectable dessert shop, and your favorite midday coffee spot. You can also take a stroll around campus or go to a sporting event.

Plant a Friendship Tree

Together with your friend, you can plant a tree as a representation of your bond. It will grow and flourish just like your friendship. You can also ask various organizations, such as Global Tree Initiative, to help you with the tree planting. They even give you a certificate as a souvenir.

And that concludes our long-distance friendship guide. We hope that you’ve enjoyed reading and that you’ll use the tips and tricks that we’ve shared with you here. As you can see, there are no obstacles to a true friendship. We wish you and your friends good luck!

🔗 References