Comparison of Kübler-Ross, Job, and Buddhist stages of grieving
According to Kübler-Ross (1969), there are five phases of grieving and they include; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The author indicates that grieving occurs as a result of loss and it is an inevitable phase in life (Kübler-Ross, 1969). The author also recognizes the fact that the five phases of grieving do not necessarily manifest in the same order in everyone. The denial stage is temporary and characterized by doubt and shock after learning that a loved one is dead. Specifically, people try to deviate from the reality of the situation. In the ‘anger’ stage, people begin to comprehend the reality of the situation. The anger can be aimed at God, objects, family, friends, or strangers. Emotionally, the bereaved members may also be angry at the dead person for leaving them. The bargaining stage involves feelings of hopelessness and despair. Specifically, the bereaved wish that the disease could have been diagnosed sooner or better care could have been provided for their loved one when they fell ill. The depression phase can either be characterized by sadness and regret or psychological preparation to separate from a loved one after burial. Lastly, the acceptance stage encompasses preparing to move on without the presence of a loved one. In some instances, the bereaved can take years to finally accept the loss of a family or friend.
The story of job is found in the old testament in the bible. Job was wise and devoted to God (Verhey, 2011). He lost his property and all his children in one day following a natural calamity. He refused to be angry at God and chose to worship and accept his loss. Based on this story, Job did not go through the bargaining phase as he understood that God had better things in store for him. In Buddhism, followers do not view death as the end of an individual’s life (Kowalski, 2005). It is believed to be the end of the physical body and beginning of a new spiritual life. The Kisa Gautami parable in Buddhism presents a good example of how the followers should deal with grief. Kisa Gautami was a wealth woman whose son died following an illness. When she went to Buddha for assistance on how to deal with the grief, Buddha told her to go borrow five mustard seeds from families that had not been affected by death in the past. However, she discovered that all the families she visited had experienced loss at some point. She then accepted death as an unavoidable part of life and stopped grieving. Therefore, she went through denial and anger before she could accept that her son was dead.
Compare the relationship between job and the above grieving models and examples
Most of the stages described by Kübler-Ross did not manifest in Job’s case. After the loss, Job accepted the situation as true and began lamenting over what had happened (Verhey, 2011). He did not go through the denial phase as he kept on praising God for the loss. The second stage involved praise and Worship to God. This was contrary to Kübler-Ross’s view that people often blame God for their loss. Later, Job displayed silence in an effort to contemplate on the loss and wait upon God. However, the silence was not characterized by anger. Moreover, he never questioned God for taking his possessions away. His last stage in grieving was enlightenment where Job understood the meaning of his grief. He learnt that God is the giver of life and death was in His hands. Later, God gave Job new possessions and family as a reward for his perseverance. Generally, Job’s story is an example of how Christians should deal with grief. The Buddhist point of view of grief is closely related to Job’s experience. In both religions, followers believe that there is a higher power that controls life and death.
Preferred method of handling grief
Grieving is a difficult part of life that everyone has to go through in life. I believe that the stages of grief are dependent on the circumstances surrounding the loss of a loved one. Based on my personal view, there should be four stages of grief that are different from Kübler-Ross’s model. First, a bereaved person should face their feelings and try to accept the reality. However, this can only be possible through adequate counseling by other family members or professional staff. Second, an individual should express their feelings in a constructive way. Kübler-Ross (1969) indicates that people tend to direct their anger to others during the grieving process. Having a supportive network of family members and friends is vital in promoting positive actions after the death of a loved one. Third, a bereaving person should remember to look after his or her physical health during the process. This is due to the fact that life has to continue after a loved one is dead and buried. Lastly, a person has to analyze the situations that may trigger the feeling of loss in the future. The current research has not changed my view of grief as different people experience it differently. Moreover Kübler-Ross does not seem to recognize the impact of counseling in dealing with grief.
References
Kowalski, K. (2005). Death and Grief: A Personal, Psychological, and Buddhist Perspective. Web.
Kübler-Ross, E. (1969). On death and dying. New York: Scribner.
Verhey, A. (2011). The Christian art of dying: Learning from Jesus. Michigan: William B. Eardmans Publishers.