Introduction
Personal differences play a significant role in determining how one establishes and maintains relationships. The ability to maintain relationships starts to develop during childhood when an infant begins to interact with their caregiver. When children receive consistent love and care from their guardians, they grow feelings and thoughts that guide them during interactions (Salande et al., 2017).
Additionally, the connection created between a child and their parents tends to determine the kind of expectations that they will have toward their partners when they establish an interpersonal relationship in their adulthood (Fraley et al., 2013). Various attachment styles, including secure, avoidant, anxious-ambivalent, and disorganized, determine the quality of a bond. This paper analyzes how attachment styles affect interpersonal relationships by influencing how partners express their emotions and the degree of satisfaction they get from their correlations.
Types of Attachment Styles
Secure attachment is developed during childhood when a child establishes a stable connection between them and their caregiver. A child develops a sense of security when the guardian is sensitive and concerned about their needs. These children will grow up with a positive bond with their caregivers will enable them to see the positive aspects of their significant other in their future relationships (Salande et al., 2017). Additionally, people with the secure attachment style tend to establish mutual friendships and understanding relationships. This style allows people to be confident with their relationship status and commit themselves to their needs to achieve satisfaction.
Avoidant attachment develops during childhood and is depicted when the child shows little emotional connection toward their caregiver. For instance, they do not display any distress or joy when the parent departs or returns. In adulthood, avoidant attachment is depicted by an unwillingness to share thoughts and feelings to distance themselves from forming bonds. These people tend to focus on the negative aspects of emotional attachment as a deterrent to engaging in intimate connections (Salande et al., 2017). Additionally, avoidant attachment influences one to have a high level of self-worth but portrays a low level of trust. These feelings of doubt create little interest in establishing intimate relationships.
Anxious-ambivalent attachment is portrayed by people who strive to control the relationship. These people are usually constant worry about being abandoned and tend to be distressed when their partners or caregivers leave and feel uncomfortable around strangers (Salande et al., 2017). Furthermore, this form of attachment makes one feel comfortable only when close and intimate with their partner. However, they depict heavy dependence on the relationship and portray emotional extremeness during their interactions.
Lastly, disorganized attachment is associated with a sense of weak self-worth. This attachment often develops from an undesirable experience such as abuse or parental neglect doing childhood, thus developing post-traumatic stress. As a result, people with disorganized attachment tend to develop low self-esteem believing that they do not deserve love or an intimate relationship (Salande et al., 2017). Additionally, people with this form of attachment tend to use the fear of rejection as a deterrent to establishing personal relationships. They crave love and company, but their insecurities often overshadow their urges.
Interpersonal Relationships
Establishing interpersonal relations is essential in facilitating coexistence in society. Common intimate connections in society include family relationships, romantic relationships, workforce relationships, and friendships (Sutton, 2019). Some of the significant factors that determine the success of these relationships include personal attributes and culture. These factors make connections subject to change, thus making people adopt the different attachment styles (Davila et al., 1997). Some perceive themselves with dignity, such as those with secure and avoidant attachments, which enables them to treat themselves with dignity and love while in a relationship (Feeney & Noller, 1990). Besides, one’s perception determines how one views their relationship partners. Those who perceive their partners with worth tend to treatment with dignity and respect. Furthermore, having dignity towards one’s partner enables them to respond to their emotional and physical needs with the promptness and sensitivity they deserve, which tends to increase the quality and stability of the relationship.
People with insecure attachments, such as avoidant and disorganized, may have difficulties establishing relationships because of the negativities associated with these styles. Therefore, such people tend to isolate themselves from society and prefer private lives. Despite craving for emotional attachment, they may not successfully establish a relationship because of the high expectations that they may subject their partners to (Feeney & Noller, 1990). Despite originating from childhood care, attachment styles in adulthood are often reinforced by other factors such as education, wealth, mental conditions such as depression and post-traumatic stress, and culture (Sutton, 2019). These factors shape the way people react to the different situations in their relationships. For instance, people with secure attachment styles may recognize their role in the relationship and respond positively to the various concerns to achieve stability and satisfy their partners and themselves (Chapman, 2022). On the contrary, those with insecure attachments pecieve relationships negatively by either being obsessed with their partners and failing themselves or being obsessed with themselves and failing their partners.
Love Styles
Attachment styles have played a significant role in influencing the different love styles. Love styles are the different approaches that partners in a romantic relationship embrace. These styles significantly affect the quality of the relationship and tend to determine its stability. There are approximately six major love styles, including Eros, Storge, Ludus, Pragma, mania, and agape (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1986). These styles guide people in expressing their emotions to their partners and the expectations they have in their relationships. Additionally, they influence the quality of a relationship by determining how satisfied the partners are.
Firstly, Eros is established based on the partners’ physical attributes, and the attraction tends to be intense. This strong attraction sustains the relationship and makes it highly monogamous. However, such people can easily find new lovers once they meet other people who march their preferences (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1986). It is a style that is often established by the secure attachment style, which enables one to be comfortable exploring as much as possible and try new relationships with confidence. Secondly, the Ludus style influences people not to be serious with their relationships but rather take it as a game where they tolerate deception and lack of commitment (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1986). They approach relationships without fully establishing emotional attachment toward their partners. Ludic relationships tend to be short-lived because the partners are not emotionally connected. This love style may be influenced by the avoidant attachment style, which affects one to have higher self-worth than their partners and lowers the value of intimacy.
Thirdly, the Pragma style enables partners to approach a relationship with precaution. Partners with this love tend to have requirements that their prospective partners must meet before establishing an emotional attachment (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1986). These requirements ensure a compatible partner that will form a long-lasting relationship. The pragmatic love style may be influenced by avoidant attachment where there is no value in emotional intimacy, and the partner tends to be cautious of intimacy-related behaviors (Grau & Doll, 2003). Fourthly, Storge is another type of love established based on the secure attachment style. Partners with this type of love are often committed and highly value emotional attachment (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1986). Additionally, they embrace trust, which establishes a long and stable connection.
Fifthly, agape love is established based on a secure attachment style that allows the partners to love unconditionally and appreciate their efforts to develop a stable relationship. Agape love influences the partners to focus on the positive effects of attachments, enabling them to achieve higher satisfaction levels (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1986). Lastly, the mania type of love is influenced by the anxious-ambivalent attachment style. This love makes one emotionally dependent on their partners, and they are highly obsessed with love and affection (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1986). They often depict emotional extremes depending on how their partner addresses their needs.
Conclusion
In conclusion, attachment styles affect relationships by determining how partners express their love, how they treat each other, and the amount of satisfaction they get from their relationships. These styles start to develop during early childhood, influenced by the type of relationship a child gets with their caregiver. Partners who establish love based on secure attachment styles tend to have more satisfying and stable relationships than those who express their love based on insecure attachments.
References
Chapman, D. G. (2022). 5 love languages/learn. Web.
Davila, J., Burge, D., & Hammen, C. (1997). Why does attachment style change?Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 73(4), 826-838.
Feeney, J. A., & Noller, P. (1990). Attachment style as a predictor of adult romantic relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 58(2), 281-291.
Fraley, R. C., Roisman, G. I., Booth-LaForce, C., Owen, M. T., & Holland, A. S. (2013). Interpersonal and genetic origins of adult attachment styles: A longitudinal study from infancy to early adulthood. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 104(5), 817-838. Web.
Grau, I., & Doll, J. (2003). Effects of attachment styles on the experience of equity in heterosexual couples relationships. Experimental Psychology, 50(4), 298-310.
Hendrick, C., & Hendrick, S. (1986). A theory and method of love. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 50(2), 392-402.
Salande, J. D., & Hawkins, Raymond C.,II. (2017). Psychological flexibility, attachment style, and personality organization: Correlations between constructs of differing approaches. Journal of Psychotherapy Integration, 27(3), 365-380.
Sutton, T. E. (2019). Review of attachment theory: Familial predictors, continuity and change, and intrapersonal and relational outcomes. Marriage & Family Review, 55(1), 1-22.