Life itself is a complex concept that includes many stages, aspects, and problems. As a person goes through the subsequent stages of development, the previous issues become less important, leaving room for new questions and concerns. Their philosophy is moving further away from worldly matters. During this period, people participate in reflections and discussions about more complex ideas like questions of life and death. This work examines Leo Tolstoy’s My Confession to illustrate the internal struggle that the famous writer is going through.
Tolstoy sums up his belief in progress, which he adhered to: “Everyone is developing, and I am developing; and why I am developing together with everyone, it will be seen” (Tolstoy, 2018). This belief is much easier to adhere to in youth when people notice the actual development of forces, talents, and abilities. It is tough to believe this when old age, infirmity, illness, and death are already looming ahead (Tolstoy, 2018). It is a question about the ultimate purpose, which is not destroyed by individual death. The story of the Asian traveler was presented by Alan Watts as a Zen story. This story ends with the fact that “strawberries” seemed sweet to the traveler in the last moments of his life.
The aging Leo Tolstoy was so worried about death that the mentioned strawberries no longer seemed sweet to him. The meaning of this story is simple – life is precious, even if a person is close to death. Despite the development of science (especially now), people remain finite beings and face death; hence, information about the nature of matters does not contribute to the knowledge of meaning of life. Moreover, science has never claimed to answer question “why,” so the mentioned issue remains unsolved. Philosophy also leads to the dead end in this regard. For example, Tolstoy’s work foreshadowed the philosophical trend of existentialism. In his later work, he subjected his characters to an existential crisis through which they tried to find themselves again. Through alienation, identity, loneliness, people, in his works, came to God. It helped Tolstoy himself in his knowledge of God. This statement remained a dilemma for Tolstoy. Philosophy of existentialism has revealed that there is no meaning in life probably due to the absurd and paradoxes present in reality. Thus, neither science nor philosophy solve the problem of the sense of human existence.
During his lifetime, Tolstoy achieved everything he wanted in his youth. Having received everything and having completed everything, it suddenly became unnecessary for him. His existential crisis of consciousness greatly influenced Leo Tolstoy’s opinion of his works. It was difficult for him to find an answer to why he writes and the true purpose of his works. In his later work, he tries to answer these questions for himself. Through his last work, his characters, he learns about God and conveys this to others. His path is individual, and his mind is freed from the Holy Scriptures; he begins to believe but in his way. Speaking about his works, Tolstoy emphasized their complex structure and incomprehensibility for the philistine mind. One of Tolstoy’s last works was the novel “Sunday,” which he considered pretty successful, revealing many facets. Tolstoy tried to show a more processed and more Christian history. Sunday became the work that was able to convey to the broad mass of the reader those thoughts Tolstoy had already begun to realize closer to old age.
I can somewhat agree with Tolstoy in his dilemma about the meaning of life. I believe that meaning is supplied by the interaction of a person with others and rejection of the attributes that do not belong to this individual. Finding differences signifies exploring of one’s existence and realizing that it is a fact of being. Hence, the sense emerges from being oneself, an individual with a mind that compresences other minds. Since otherness implies being a human, this is probably the meaning of life.
Reference
Tolstoy, L. (2018). My confession. In E. D. Klemke & S. M. Cahn (Eds.). The meaning of life (4th ed). Oxford University Press.