Tony Dokoupil’s article titled “ Why I Am Leaving Guyland?” projects the differences between married and unmarried men in the U.S. The article incorporates various reasons as to why men in the age group of twenties are refraining from getting married and settled in life. According to Dokoupil, the number of unmarried men is more than those who are married. He feels that these bachelors enjoy their present state since it gives them a sense of freedom. These guys are more happy staying alone and on their own, and seem to feel that engaging themselves with a female partner is a simple waste of time and would hamper and obstruct their present state of bliss and happiness. They like smoking, drinking and camping with their friends.
Mostly, guys who have just left college or are about to do so, usually decide to enjoy their lives and make the most of it by going on a holiday with their friends and passing time with various girls. All this, along with their sense of freedom, is all what they want out of their lives. Their instinct does not allow them to bind themselves into a relation and become responsible. Besides, those who are into a marriage themselves are being considered more happy and successful than their counterparts.
The guys under the age group of 20 to 25 are abstaining themselves from being settled in life and becoming a father, that is to say, they are running away from responsibilities in life. They find it a monotonous way of living. The only way they think they can get over with it is to engage themselves into running after women and doing what ever they feel like doing. But the question arises, till when will they be running from the realities of life?
Also, the number of men who married at the right time has considerably lessened as what can be seen in the present times. Besides this, their friends discourage those who do finally decide to marry. These men face strong alerts from their own age group saying that- “Maybe you’re making a big mistake” (Dokoupil, 2008).
Not only the attitude about the whole marriage concept is wrong, but also, it has been seen that the women nowadays are earning much more than the men, thereby, outsmarting them in the economic front. Such facts compel some men to comit suicide for not sharing the same economic status as their female counterparts. They are less likely to read a newspaper, attend church, vote for president or believe that people are basically trustworthy, helpful and fair (Dokoupil, 2008).
Also, the television highlights the negative aspects of the married life. This too has made an impact on the minds of the young men who despise marriage. The television portrays young men who are happy in their own world. They prefer staying as bachelors, while fulfilling all their desires of recreation and fun. Moreover, a married man is considered a very alien concept in Guyland. A married man doesn’t fit their category. Although it has been recently proved that married men are more successful, happier and more at peace than those who are not married. Married men are more settled and more near to be able to fulfill their dreams.
Now, if one comes to think of it, Dokoupil’s view is more or less right if compared to the current scenario. I greatly share the opinion of the writer. Although I have some mixed feelings but on the whole, what Dokoupil says is completely true. I very much agree with what the youth thinks today and how they behave.
The present times have witnessed a great dismissal of the idea of marriage. Despite many counseling centers and other bureaus intended to counsel the youth regarding marriage, we have sensed a huge reversal in the minds of young men. They don’t want to marry nor do they want to let go of their freedom. This is one of the main reason that they stay as far away as possible from the realities of life and prefer to hide themselves from the verity.
This will definitely compel them to realize the mistake that they are making by not following the usual life style. Their unusual lifestyle surely does not earn them any reward whatsoever. One day or the other, they will realize the disadvantages of solitary living. Finally, they will catch the right track sooner or later. The writer is very much right when he says that married men have ample of disadvantages over those who don’t believe in the institution of marriage.
If one views it this way, that an unmarried man cannot enjoy the bliss of married life whereas, a married man can enjoy the same along with the times that an unmarried man enjoys. He has both the advantages. A married man, along with his responsibilities of being a husband, a father, can also take time out to spend time with his friends and recollect and relive the fu times that e had with his pals. If only the youth of today realize that staying alone will not serve them any purpose and that they will surely benefit from having a partner. Hopefully, their views will change as soon as possible. The author basically draws a comparison between the two types of men.
He lays more emphasis on the unmarried men, their attitude towards life and their views about marriage. They don’t support the view of any of their friends, if he tries to settle down and have a family of his own. This comparison is very much true in the real life. Such people do exist who just don’t want any other human being to enter their lives. They enjoy alone, with friends and most importantly with different women. The thought of a single woman sharing her life with them doesn’t suit their temperament. Also, the ever-growing increment in the wages of their female counterparts is a major obstacle in letting the men realize their need.
This hurts their male ego, which is nearly impossible to overcome. Be it any place, any religion, any community, a male tendency is the same everywhere. They find it difficult to cope up with their female counterparts, especially those who earn more than their male counterparts. This strengthens their view further of not marrying at all. And, one of the major reason that they run away from this is, the responsibility factor.
They are seldom responsible themselves; it will be very difficult to be responsible for the whole family. Also, the constant worry about the children and their future leaves them bewildered. Once they have children, they will be tied to the daily family life forever. Even after their children get married, they still will worry about their well being and happiness and needs. It keeps them busy for the rest of their lives. This surely does pose as the biggest threat to the freedom of the youth of today.
They might think that if they are unmarried, they can always enter the married life. But, once they get married, they can never go back to the unmarried status. This is, on the other hand, the ultimate fear experienced by the guys.
Finally, according to me, Tony Dokoupil has very subtly outlined these points and I am very much convinced with his study. I think, there is a need to bring about a change in the views of the youth. They must realize the truth of life and must be ready to take responsibilities in life and become responsible. Only then will the worldview change.
Works Cited Page
Dokoupil T. “Why I Am Leaving Guyland”: Newsweek. 2008.