“Manners are made up of trivialities of deportment, which can be easily learned if one does not happen to know them; manner is personality–the outward manifestation of one’s innate character and attitude toward life.”
If these words were analyzed, one would understand manners as the elements of one’s personality at the basic level and the components of one’s character at the broader level. A normal human being, in addition to being physically and mentally fit, is one who portrays courtesy and good etiquette. The manifestation of a decent demeanor in dealing with others could be defined as the mark of a good-mannered person.
Though good manners are widely appreciated and also become pivotal factors in one’s progress in life, there is still a huge populace who does not either believe in them or their importance. In this era of cutthroat competition, one gets an edge if one’s communication skills and public dealing are exemplary. It would not be an exaggeration to say that these qualities are attributed to a person’s manners and etiquettes.
Manners are customs and traditions of a society that govern how people treat one another and behave in social situations. They are meant to smooth the rough edges of human nature. Manners maintain order, promote the values of a society, and foster positive human interactions.
Imagine yourself standing in a queue to buy a movie ticket with your infant in your lap. Suddenly a youngster rushes and walks past you, without even caring that he has pushed the little one. He buys the ticket and just gets away in a jiffy. You would feel so bad and definitely curse him. However, in the same situation, if the gentleman ahead in the queue gives you his place and lets you buy the ticket, you would not only be grateful but also respect him genuinely. This is what distinguishes good manners from bad manners. All said and done, etiquette is the mark of a civilized society.
Etiquette, courtesy, and good manners are three terms closely related and complementary. Each has its own meanings and applications, but all are vital to a smooth and enjoyable sense of shared values and a supportive community. They foster not only a feeling of mutual likeability but also a certain kind of harmony and solidarity.
A well-mannered person not only creates a favorable impression on others but also feels good about him/herself. Good manners are not restricted to certain gestures of chivalry or social etiquette. They go deeper. They are an expression of your sensitivity towards others. They exhibit your consideration for others’ concerns and circumstances. They instill a sense of sharing and appreciation. Good manners not only make an individual more polished but also a better human.
It is important that manners are inculcated at a very young age as the perception and focus are clearer then. The family atmosphere plays a significant role in shaping a child’s behavior and personality. However, there are certain things for which training becomes important. The ambit of good manners does not end by saying please, sorry, and thanks. True manners can only be understood in the real sense when their meaning is imbibed. One should never underestimate the power of good manners. They can transform children and make them better individuals. They would grow up to be more considerate and understand the injury caused by an unkind word or a thoughtless action. But sermonizing does not help. It is pertinent to be a role model who the kids can emulate and look up to. This would give them a practical grounding as well as a deeper comprehension of the significance of etiquettes and a pleasant demeanor.
Modern etiquette instructs people to greet friends and acquaintances with warmth and respect, refrain from insults and prying curiosity, offer hospitality equally and generously to guests, wear clothing suited to the occasion, contribute to conversations without dominating them, offer assistance to those in need, eat neatly and quietly, avoid disturbing others with unnecessary noise, follow the established rules of an organization upon being a member, arrive promptly when expected, comfort the bereaved and respond to invitations promptly. Violations of etiquette, if severe, can cause public disgrace, and in private hurt individual feelings, create misunderstandings or real grief and pain, and even escalate into a murderous rage.
Manners, however not always comprise objective or uniform behavior. They are sensitive to the cultural context. What is excellent etiquette in one society may shock in another. A small example is belching after meals, which is generally considered bad etiquette. However, in some societies, it is encouraged as they see it as an indicator of good digestion. The meanings, therefore, change with the cultural backdrop where one operates.
The best thing about manners is that they keep evolving. Therefore there is nothing rigid about them. The only thing to take care of is that they are understood and exhibited. Manners can win hearts and even break them, so they should be portrayed with utmost care.
References
- Minding your Manners.
- Etiquette.