The following is an analysis of the book written by Ben Shahar on how we can attain high degrees of happiness and fulfillment in life.
Happiness Rituals and Gratitude
Creating Rituals
So as to improve my well-being, I have decided to follow a number of ritualistic activities. For the benefit of my physical health, I will be attending a gym for at least three hours, every week. Spending at least four hours per week with my family will also be among my rituals.
Besides, I will be spending at least four hours a day for academic research and reading. Moreover, I will be spending at least four hours in a week for personal entertainment, by watching movies or going out with friends. Finally, I will be giving at least twenty minutes of my daily activities to relaxation and meditation (Shahar 8).
Expressing Gratitude
Among the many things in my life that I remain grateful for, my family ranks high. All of my siblings have been a great blessing in my life. Likewise, I have many great and helpful friends that have always guided and helped me on many occasions.
Importantly, it is pleasing to know that I do not have chronic diseases, or other health conditions, that could otherwise have deterred my health. Besides, I am highly appreciative of the academic learning that I have been able to attain so far. My belief in God has also given me a direction in life; thus, endowing me with many capabilities (Shahar 10).
The Four Quadrants
Rat-racer
With the high expectation of academic performance that I had been ingrained with, by my parents, I lived as a rat-racer during my high school years. My intention was to painfully work hard so that I could attain better grades and; thus, be able to pursue a good career in college; hence, a good income and a happy life in the future.
The excruciating and laborious hours of immersing in reading and research were countered by the promise of a happier life in the future. The results of rat-racer behavior at the time made me feel tired and uninterested but determined (Shahar 27).
Hedonist
Among the many moments in my life that I have lived as a hedonist include periods during the holidays that normally follow the clearing of college examinations. Here, and for long hours, I often indulge in entertaining activities like watching movies, reading novels, and going out with friends. As it is often the case, although I initially enjoy such self-indulging activities for a while, I often end as a Nihilist.
Nihilism
Moments following a break-up with a former girlfriend that I had, I felt like a nihilist. Here, nothing seemed to be of importance to me. It was a depressing moment where I spent most of my time in bed sleeping. I had lost my appetite and could not develop an interest in anything. Since I was focusing on things that had happened in the past, I lost interest in many things and could not enjoy a number of great things that I normally take notice of (Shahar 50).
Happy
Finally, among the moments in my life that I have lived happily was during my partnership period as a community worker, just after I had graduated from high school. The activities of helping my community, interacting with my colleague volunteers, and making new friendships provided a moment of pleasure and meaning at the time.
Mapping of Happiness and Life
Sentence Completion
To bring 5 percent more happiness into my life___________________
I would need to appreciate important things that I have
I would focus on creating healthy relationships.
I would enjoy each time that I have in my life.
I would work purposefully to achieve set goals.
I would appreciate my family and friends more.
I would need to identify important stimulants that increase the level of my happiness.
Mapping My Life
Happiness Map
Self Concordance/Happiness Board
Since I joined college, I have developed an avid interest in learning and helping others to learn. My self-concordant goal would therefore be to become a university academic staff within the next seven years. So as to achieve such a goal, I will need to implement a number of short-term goals. Such goals would include: pursuing a master’s degree immediately after obtaining my undergraduate degree and pursuing a doctorate there afterward.
Moreover, so as to achieve my set goal, I will need to implement an action plan described below. My action plan would entail working for long hours in my academic studies, so as to achieve impressive grades for all the units that I am currently undertaking in my undergraduate course. Moreover, I will also enroll for a savings scheme so as to acquire an amount of the financial resources that will be required to finance my postgraduate studies in the future (Shahar 79).
Career Goals
Education Program
Regarding my professional development in education, I have already described my intention to undertake postgraduate studies in Psychology. Here, my intention is to become a professional educator in Psychology. Such a direction would include an enrolment for master, and later, a doctorate in psychology.
Moreover, a ritual of reading psychological literature on a daily basis would help me in sharpening my knowledge in this particular area. Concerning my individual growth in education, I would pursue an area that I have always liked-history. Here I will develop a ritual reading several books that touch on history for at least four hours weekly.
The Privilege of Hardship
Among the painful moments that I have undergone hardships in my life includes a time when my beloved uncle suffered horribly, and later, died from cancer. Going through such a painful time made me appreciate a number of privileges that I currently enjoy in my life. First, I have come to appreciate the importance of good health for a person. Importantly, I have come to appreciate the benefit of a capacity to be filled with energy, and therefore, enjoy every moment of my life.
When someone is depressed as a result of such pains of loss, it is possible for such depressions to steal an ability to feel and enjoy anything. Besides, I have also come to appreciate the value of families and friends and all the people that we love in our lives: It is important that we appreciate each and every of such people for the times that we are able to share together with them.
The Three-Question Process
What gives me meaning?
Personally, I find meaning in teaching, and thus, helping people to achieve their academic and social capacities. Besides, I also find meaning in discovering new ideas and tackling challenges.
What gives me pleasure?
Here, my pleasure would include lecturing, researching, inventing, and discovering new spheres of knowledge.
What are my strengths?
My strengths would include an inventive and questioning mind, a passion in research, and a capacity to be friendly with others.
Gratitude Letter
Dear Mum,
I am writing this letter to appreciate you for being such a great and a caring person in my life. From the time I was young, born into this complex world as an innocent child, you have faithfully and dutifully nurtured me to become the person that I am today. Your heart is filled with patience, during the many times that have asked you many questions about life, about why I am here, about what I should do; you have never tried to reply me with wisdom.
Besides, your heart is also filled with forgiveness, love, and care. Although I have often acted mischievously and rebelliously, you have never hesitated to forgive me. Many a time, I have watched as you sacrifice and work hard so that I can eat my meals, go to school, and sleep in a warm house. I am privileged to have you as my mother.
Boosters
So as to live a happier life, I intend to introduce a number of boosters in my life. First, I intend to increase the amount of time that I spend with my family and siblings. At the minimum, I should spend at least two hours per day with my family. Secondly, I intend to be spending at least eight hours in a week to read on the topic that I please-history. In such a direction, I will be joining a local library that has a wide array of historical literature.
Besides, so as to feel rejuvenated, it is my hope to spend at least thirty minutes practicing meditation and relaxation daily. Concerning an exploratory activity, I intend to volunteer in helping physically challenged college students perform challenging physical tasks; like moving from one place to another, or writing notes. Here, I intend to give at least two hours daily to this volunteering venture.
A Happy Experience
Among the happiest moments that I have ever experienced in my life was a time when, with a couple of my college classmates, we visited a national game reserve. Here, the whole package entailed a number of activities that I enjoyed. First, I had a moment to interact with my classmates in their true personalities that is inept of academic learning. Besides, it was a time when I had a moment to relax and escape from the many responsibilities and cares that have formed part of my life.
As we traveled in our college bus, moving from one region to another, I enjoyed watching the eye-catching sceneries in the landscapes that we traversed. Obviously, the joy of watching animals in their natural environments formed a considerable portion of my enjoyment at the time. I think that it is possible to increase the pleasure of such a moment as I have described by organizing such trips after completing a difficult task, such as an exam.
Sentence Stems
If I succeed_____________________
I would be happier.
I would set new goals.
I would go for a holiday.
It would create an exciting feeling of contentment in me.
Advice From Inner Sage
Viewing my life under the microscope of someone that is much older than me, say, 110 years old can help me evaluate my happiness state. What are some of the things that I would consider changing in my life if I was to view my life from the perspective of such an older person? Obviously, spending more time with my family and siblings would be of prominence here.
No greater life moments can compete with the joy of sharing valuable time with the people that you love. Times in which I would spend with my family would need to encompass both quantity and quality.
While quantity time would entail spending more hours with my family, say, two more hours daily, quality time would entail taking most of the time I spend with my family to express care, engage in conversations, and express love. Viewing life from a wiser perspective (than the one that I have at the moment) would help me in tackling some of the challenges that I currently face more efficiently.
Here, I would know the strength to focus on issues that are of importance to me and isolate those that are not. Moreover, such wisdom would give me an eye that would appreciate happiness as the most important element that we need to chase in our lives, rather than other competing interests, say, money.
Simplicity
Looking at the life map that I had made earlier, it would be helpful to alter how I currently spend my life with a view of focussing on activities that are more fulfilling for me. Here, I would intend to increase the time that I spend with my family by two hours and reduce the time that I spend watching movies by three hours.
Conflict Resolution
Among the conflicts that I would need to resolve with regard to happiness is an evaluation of a grudge that I currently hold towards a person that was my trusted friend in the past. Forgiving the person and moving on would definitely contribute in making both of us happier. However, considering my happiness in the future, I will not be able to trust this particular friend of mine as before since I don’t believe that he has changed; thus, he cannot be relied on in the future.
Conclusion
Through the evaluation of the material written by Tal Ben Shahar on how we can achieve a higher degree of happiness in our lives, my life has been changed. Since happiness is the end measure of meaning in our lives, I have been able to learn how I can strive towards happiness while living a fulfilling life. The definition of our behaviors in categories that deviate from happiness has opened my insight on how I can engage in happy activities-activities that provide pleasure and inspire meaning in my life.
Moreover, I have learnt how to create and evaluate happiness in some activities that I earlier on considered to be boring and tiring. Obviously, Ben Shahar has provided important insights, which if used correctly, can be fruitful in helping each of us achieve a higher degree of happiness in life. I would therefore recommend this particular book on happiness by Ben Shahar to any person that is seeking to live a happier life.
Works Cited
Shahar, Ben. Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfilment. New York: McGraw Hill, 2007. Print