Correspondence is one of the main ways of business communication. In addition to such types of business messages as invitations, information requests, and letters of recommendation, to name but a few, managers must also share negative information in the form of requests, refuse requests, claim letters, letters of dismissal, and others. It should be kept in mind, that such messages require special care to avoid damaging the quality of the relationship (“Writing Negative Messages” par. 1); the ability to correctly convey negative information to the recipient is the key to a successful company.
Let us review the effectiveness (or ineffectiveness) of the negative news communication as exemplified by a letter of M. Juhasz to the Traveling Executives. It starts with a polite address “Dear Traveling Executives”, and then proceeds to convey the negative information:
“We need you to start using some of the budget suggestions we are going to issue as a separate memorandum” (Juhasz).
It is a shining example of an ineffective negative message, as there is no opening in the form of a buffer beginning; that is, the writer does not attempt “an indirect approach” and “gives away” the bad news (Thill and Bovée 309).
“These include using videoconference equipment and web conferencing instead of traveling to meetings, staying in cheaper hotels, arranging flights for cheaper times, and flying from less-convenient but also less-expensive suburban airports.”
In this case, the repetition of the word “cheaper” is tantamount to “rubbing somebody’s nose in the dirt”. It leaves no room for diplomatic ambiguity and appears as an accusation of spendthrifts.
“The company needs to cut travel expenses by fifty percent, just as we’ve cut costs in all departments of Black & Decker. It means you’ll no longer be able to stay in fancy hotels and make last-minute, costly changes to your travel plans.”
The latter sentence is a generalization, as it implies that all of the employees have been making last-minute changes to their plans.
“You’ll also be expected to avoid hotel surcharges for phone calls and internet access. If the hotel you want to stay in doesn’t offer free wireless, go somewhere else.”
The last phrase is an imperative, which should be omitted in business and formal writing.
“And never, NEVER return a rental car with an empty tank!”
Another imperative. The sentence is further enhanced with an exclamation mark, which should not be used in formal messages. Neither is it allowed to use capitalization. According to Alice Robb, “writers have used capital letters to convey anger in print” (Robb par. 5). Furthermore, the word “never” is too strong.
“That causes the rental agency to charge us a premium price for the gas they sell when they fill it up upon your return.”
The pronouns “us” and “you” contrapose the employees within a company. By dividing the personnel into groups, M. Juhasz places him/herself above the traveling executives.
“You’ll be expected to make these changes in your travel habits immediately.”
The closing sentence sounds like a straightforward command. It is advisable to replace the word immediately with “promptly”, “as soon as you can”, or “at the earliest”, that is, the expressions that convey the sense of urgency in a formal way.
Works Cited
Robb, Alice. “How Capital Letters Became Internet Code for Yelling.” New Republic. 2014. Web.
Juhasz, M. “Letter to the Traveling Executives.” n.d.
Thill, John V, and Courtland L Bovée. Excellence In Business Communication. Upper Saddle, NJ: Prentice Hall. 2015. Print.
“Writing Negative Messages.”. 2002. Web.