Extended Families
An extended family is normally seen as two or more generations/ branches of one family (i.e. cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents, etc.) either staying within a single home or living within the same area within proximity to each other (Extended family, 2012). While existing within western societies the concept of an extended family is more proliferate in Middle Eastern and Asian cultures where family ties are a more prominent aspect of their respective cultures and societies (Extended family, 2012).
This takes the form of multiple branches of a single-family staying in one home (seen within India), the tradition of parental care when parents are old and feeble (seen in the case of Japan, China, and the Philippines) as well as more prominent and lasting relationships between family as opposed to the more cordial and temporary relationships (often lasting just a few years) seen within western societies.
Personal Example
My father has always had a close relationship with his siblings, so during particular holidays (ex: school break, Christmas, New Year, etc.), we’d either take a short trip to visit the family of his brother and sister, or they’d come and visit us. It became a small tradition within our family that we’d visit each other during particular times of the year, and it was through this that I got to know my cousins and other relatives.
On the other hand, I have had friends that have stated that my experience with my own family is rather unique in that they rarely know other members of the family outside of funerals since they all like to keep to themselves. This particular experience has taught me how rare it is for extended families to continue thriving the way they do with societal and cultural trends moving towards families that are often composed of a single mother or father with the large family scenes often seen in classic movies at times disappearing altogether.
Conjugal Union
A conjugal union is often seen as a nuclear family (mother, father, children) wherein the family relationship is more often than not concentrated inwards and is based on strong emotional bonds (Hamplova & Le Bourdais, 2010). In such a case, importance is placed more on the relationships within the nuclear family than they are on extended families (though they are still considered important but just in an emotional sense). The most important factors in such a union are those between spouses and children with a certain degree of importance being stressed on the bond between the two partners involved in the relationship.
Personal Example
The best example I can think of in the case of a conjugal union is that of my mother and father. They have been married for quite some time and based on my time with them there’s is a relationship that has bonds deeper than the eyes could see. It shows itself in the loving ways they look at each other, in the tones of their voice after they apologize after each fight, in the way in which despite being together for so long they continue to hold hands with each other.
This for me is the true essence of a conjugal marriage wherein a deep and abiding relationship is developed between two people that promise to be with each other no matter what. I have been in a variety of relationships throughout life yet to this day I have yet to find the deep love and affection that my parents have developed for each other.
Consanguine Family System
By definition, a consanguine family system is composed of a family of close relatives living within direct proximity to each other and has close familial ties. This is vastly different from the concept of a conjugal family where the relationship is more “inward,” so to speak where in the ties of a conjugal family to an extended family are more voluntary than being an absolute necessity (Thamm, 1975).
In the case of a consanguine family, the relationship with the family is more absolute in that expenses, food, and other aspects related to living within the same “roof” are shared. It is due to this that the concept of “kinship” is more enforced in the case of a consanguine family with interfamily ties playing an important role in daily interactions which comes about as a necessity since this acts as a means of preventing the inevitable conflicts that arise from several people living under one roof from getting out of hand.
Personal Example
While my family at the present lives apart from my other relatives I do remember a time when I was younger when my father, aunts, and uncles all used to live in the same compound that was owned by my grandparents. I have to admit that it was quite nice to live close to my cousins since this enabled me to play with them daily. We all used to eat together, do a lot of activities together and were like a big happy family. On the other hand, as time passed there were a few arguments and fights now and then that led to all of us getting our own separate homes, but every now and we do still meet up for holidays and similar events.
Proximity Effect
Studies such as those by ( ) explain that the proximity effect is the tendency for two or more individuals to form a friendship or certain romantic relationships due to continuous and exposure to each other which forms a subsequent bond between the individuals involved. The basis of this particular process is founded on the assumption that the more a person is around or interacts with another person the more likely it is that the two of them will develop a subsequent liking to each other due to an inherent behavioral instinct to form a bond and social relationships with those around us. As such the proximity effect could be considered the effect of man’s necessity to form social bonds especially with those that they encounter daily.
Personal Example
When I first entered college, I didn’t know anyone within the classes I attended I didn’t know anyone within the school at all. Over time, though I began to interact with the people around me in class, especially those who were seated close to me, and over a certain length of time without me truly noticing it we all became friends. For me, this is a proximity effect in action since for me it was because I encountered these individuals daily that drew them to me in the first place.
Based on casual conversations with some of my friends that I found from the initial classes that we took together in the past, it was the same for them wherein it was due to our constant and daily interactions that they were drawn to me as well. Going even further back into my past I came to realize that this pattern has repeated itself over and over again each time I progressed from grade to grade during grade school and high school and as such lends a significant degree of factual evidence towards the credibility of the proximity effect.
Post-modern family
The post-modern family of the modern-day era is often described as a diverse and complex unit of society that is quite unlike the nuclear family of the past (Smith, 1998). Families can now be composed of single parents, gay parents, or even transgendered. Not only that, with the increasing rates of divorce and remarriage a post-modern family at the present can expect to be composed of stepfathers, stepfathers, stepsons, and stepdaughters (Smith, 1998). As such the families of the present can be considered an amalgam of different types and financial situations, making the traditional nuclear family of the past a rarity in today’s modern-day era.
Personal example
While my own family can be described as a traditional nuclear family, I have seen various instances of a post-modern family among some of the people I’ve been friends with for many years. For example, one of my oldest friends, Brian, actually has parents that are both gay while Analee, another friend, has a stepfather. When looking back on the relationships they had with their parents though I saw no particular difference in the way they were treated, they were for all intents and purposes with a loving family and as such shows that despite the differences between the two family types both show the same degree of love and affection that should be present in a true family.
Double Bind Communication
A situation involving double-bind communication often rears its head wherein an individual is presented with two conflicting statements that they have to follow.
Personal Example
I remember one time when my mother told me to be more outgoing when I was in high school yet my father told me to come home right after school. If I was to follow one, I had to disobey the other yet both were in a position of authority over me, which resulted in a situation where it was impossible to follow both.
Negative affect reciprocity
Negative affect reciprocity occurs when a particular action that harms a particular person is reciprocated by an equally negative action on another person or on the person where the initial negative action originated from. This particular concept is similar to the old saying “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” wherein a harmful or negative action by one person towards another is reciprocated by an equally harmful and negative reaction as well.
Personal Experience
Though it may not be my proudest moment, I do recall a few years ago when someone played a particularly awful trick on me by giving me the wrong exam schedule resulting in me missing a few of my tests and almost failing out of a class. I got even by letting the air out of his tires with a sharp nail. From this experience, I can see the temptation most people would feel in wanting to get even when a person has pulled off a particular negative action towards them. Sometimes the feeling of wanting to get even is so ingrained that you don’t think of the moral consequences.
Erikson’s ego-crisis of initiative vs. guilt
In Erikson’s ego crisis of initiative versus guilt, children are just starting to become more active and move around and do a variety of activities (tie, count, and speak, etc.) (Ages 4 -5). In this particular situation, children develop risk-taking behaviors wherein they learn initiative and prepare to achieve some form of goal, whether it’s as simple as tying their shoes on their own or getting a good grade in the class. In this particular stage, it is also notable that they may feel guilty over doing tasks that they shouldn’t feel guilty about.
Personal experience
While I don’t quite remember the details I do remember quite a long time ago that I felt a great deal of personal accomplishment in being able to tie my shoelaces for myself yet what was odd was that despite knowing how to do so I felt strangely guilty that I didn’t let my mother do it for me.
Altruistic Parenthood
Altruistic parenthood can be defined as a societal belief where parents are expected to provide for all the needs and necessities of their children. This comes in the form of providing food, clothing, education, and a variety of other necessities to a point that a child is already self-sufficient enough to live on their own and start their own family. It must be noted though that this particular approach to parenthood has been argued by studies as such as those by Rabin & Greene (1968) as promoting dependence and as a result limits the ability of children to mature early enough (Rabin & Greene, 1968).
Examples of this come in the form of children that never truly grow up such as individuals that continue to live with their parents, refuse to get jobs, and have otherwise committed themselves to a lifestyle of dependence on their parents. It is based on this that it is often argued that altruistic parenthood is only applicable to a certain extent and that it is necessary to teach a child to be independent to prevent overly dependent behaviors to manifest themselves.
Personal Example
Throughout my life I have been cared for by my parents, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that all of my needs (food, clothing, education, etc.) were provided for to the best of their abilities. I never really questioned why they did so since for me it was as normal as the rising and setting of the sun. From a more educated perspective, I have to realize that the reason behind their care and attentiveness was due to a degree of altruism in that they had the inherent responsibility to take care of me. Whether love plays a factor in this particular process, I can’t tell but based on my childhood where all my needs were met I can say that altruistic parenthood is commonplace in human society.
Reference List
Extended family. (2012). Lapham’s Quarterly, 5(1), 128-173.
Hamplova, D., & Le Bourdais, C. (2010). Visible minorities and ‘White’-‘non-White’ conjugal unions in Canadian large cities. Ethnic & Racial Studies, 33(9), 1537-1560.
Rabin, A. I., & Greene, R. J. (1968). Assessing motivation for parenthood. Journal Of Psychology: Interdisciplinary And Applied, 69(1), 39-46.
Smith, G. L. (1998). The Present State and Future of Symbolic-Experiential Family Therapy: A Post-Modern Analysis. Contemporary Family Therapy: An International Journal, 20(2), 147-161.
Thamm, R. t. (1975). Beyond marriage and the nuclear family. Canfield Press.