Grief in Stepfamilies: Discussion Term Paper

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Introduction

Blended families entail the families, which have come together as result of remarriage with often, the two spouses bringing children from their previous marriage. Step families can be able to improve their lifestyles by following the following examples.

A firm foundation bond will evolve if the two parties are able to adjudicate reality. Before committing themselves to the aspect of marriage, the parents have to ensure that they engage some discussions to the children making them understand that what had taken place was not their fault. After this one should start talking to their children on the possibility of blending the family before the marriage time ensues so as to gain confidence from all the children and see the aspects that develop in the minds of the children or child (Howden 2004).

Main body

Ensuring effective communication entails listening and being listened to which forms a firm basis for understanding. By focusing on the marriage, the blended family will enhance effective communication since what will be in mind will be ensuring the success and development of the family. The couples should try as much as possible to have time together and also with the children alone spending time on a one on one dialogue and discuss on the pertinent issues focusing more on the positive facts as compared to the negative ones (Olson 2004).

Through the embracement of effective communication, commitment can be depicted and as a result all the family members will feel that their personalities are met for example dedicating time to all at their respective needs. Coping with the past is an issue that should be taken into deep consideration sine it lays emphasis to a future prospect of change or the adherence to the initial behavior. By assuring the children that a continual relationship that previously existed will still crop in the new family will make them have a sense of security and engage in the strong buildup of the family bonds.

In then whole family setup, there entails some differences within the children therefore treatment should be based on fairness but not on equity due to likes and dislikes. Each child’s individual strength should be focused upon to facilitate satisfaction based on what is seen by them as fitting to their needs without comparison to the others (Gerard 2002).

A more solid and firm future is ascertained and guaranteed when the past and present occurrences are put across so as to come up with a common ground (Kelley 2003).

For example the rituals based on holidays and birthdays when well formulated will be effectively sound satisfactory to each members needs as they come to an accord unlike taking such issues without seriousness.

Effective rules and roles when attributed to the members give a sense of responsibility to all the members (Gerard 2002).It is obvious that the rules and policies may not apply due to the family differences so setting new ones has to incorporate the children so as no to feel disoriented.this rules should at least entail family meetings where views are aired on the various challenges, triumphs and opinions without fear and judgment (Defrain 2007).

Conclusion

Suggestions laid forward in this situation entail that all the decisions made should be optional but in accordance to the ethical principles within the family. The children should not be forced to call mum or dad without their consent since this will shift their attitudes.Inter- couple conflict should be avoided especially in front of the children so as to ensure that strong ties still develop and that the same effect is not replicated to the children. Lastly in the accordance of discipline, favors should be avoided and both parties should participate so as to avoid the children making assumptions of not being needed within the family.

References

Defain, J. (2007). Strong families around the world: The family strengths perspective. New York: Haworth.

Gerard, I. (2002).Grief in stepfamilies Grief Matters v.5 no.1 11-14.

Howden, M. (2004). A practical guide for stepfamilies: from the vision of stepfamily Association of Victoria, 90p.

Kelley, J. (2003) Step parenting in Australia: Australian Social Monitor v.6 no.1: 1-4.

Olson, D.H. (2004). Marriage and spiritual beliefs: A national survey based on The Family Psychologist, 20, 4-8.

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