It’s another lovely Saturday afternoon, and your lovely couch is beckoning. You feel so tired, and you need to relax your body after a week of hard work. All over sudden, you are lying there feeling the enticing warmth of the couch and getting a well-earned sleep. But wait! Your wife walks in with her authoritative gesture and, like a tyrannical dictator, orders you to help with the household chores. That is the time you have to say good-bye to your beloved couch and hello to the lawnmower.
In order to avoid such calamities, there are a number of useful guidelines, which, if followed, will offer an escape route from the horrific chore monster. Some of these tips have successfully been tried, while others are hypothetical. Nevertheless, they are all constructive (Keller 1; Marx 1).
One of the most famous tactics known globally but never thought to be of great help is camouflage. Camouflage has been used for a very long period of time by the military personnel and is considered the best technique in escaping detection from the enemy radar. This technique can also be used, especially when you do not want to be seen for a certain period of time. This technique is well elaborated in Harry Porter volume 2 and involved wearing a cloak of invisibility (Gyaan 1).
In our case, get yourself a fabric that precisely matches the object you intend to blend into. For instance, putting on clothes or cover yourself with materials that match the couch or bed. If you wish to hide successfully outside, use some materials that match with the lawn. This is basically achieved by covering yourself with these materials and taking a nap beneath them. They will effectively render you invisible to many people except the most suspicious characters. Caution should be taken to make sure that no one steps or sits on you, and if it happens, pray that they are not heavy (Gyaan 1).
Another way of avoiding chores is by using lookalike. It is eminent that every individual has a person who resembles him/her or a “double.” If you want to avoid chores, you should get a lookalike or a person who closely resembles you. These lookalikes are found everywhere, for instance, in church, library, grocery, pet stores, and supermarket, among other places. Once you have identified the right person, make a deal with him/her (Keller 1).
The deal should be that he/she comes into your house and carry out your chores while wearing your clothes. On the other hand, you can take a break from the chores and have a nice time. The deal, in this case, should include payment or any form of reward agreed upon. This look like must be a single person or unmarried. This is because his or her partner may also engage you with other chores diluting the initial purpose (Marx 2).
Another trick of avoiding household chores is the use of a mannequin. This trick can be traced from Conan Doyle’s book “The Adventure of the Empty House.” The mannequins can be bought from the retail stores as long as you are ready to pay the right price. The mannequins can be used in a variety of ways. If your chores involve cleaning cars at home, just dress it in your clothes and keep it in your garage. If your chores involve mowing the lawn, just set the plastic fellow pushing the lawnmower. In this case, you can go out and join your buddies or lazy around. You can put on sunglasses and a hat on the mannequin and leave instructions to one of your neighbors or family member to move it every ten minutes. You will be surprised at how much time you can buy away without being suspected (Marx 2).
An additional trick of avoiding chores is fiddling with the clock. However, this trick is technically more challenging. The trick here is setting the alarm clock in a way that it switches itself on and off without being detected. In this case, you can give an excuse for performing the task at a particular hour, which in reality never really comes, and you are scot-free. I know one friend of mine who pulled off this prank until he was discovered. Presently, their lawn is considered as the most well trimmed in the locality (Gyaan 2).
The most common prank used by many is feigning sickness. Kids learn this trick at a tender age, and without a doubt, almost everybody has used this trick in one way or another. If you do not want to be caught, make sure you vary the sickness every time. The trick won’t work if you insist on one particular illness each and every time there is work. Jot down a number of common illnesses on a piece of paper and pick one randomly each time to make them believe it is real (Keller 2).
Hiding has been used for a long period of time and has proven to be among the most effective methods of avoiding household routine jobs. There are many places to hide, but you simply got to make the wisest choice. Some of the places you can hide include attics, ceilings, closets, out in the garage, in the neighbor’s house, at the backyard, in the wardrobe, among other places that suit you and are safe. The larger the house, of course, the more the hiding places.
There are other tricks of avoiding household chores, including working slowly to avoid additional work, feigning emergency phone calls from the office, faking an old friend who has just arrived in town, and performing poorly, among others (Marx 2).
Other methods of avoiding chores require some form of deception. For instance, if you are asked to perform a particular task, and you don’t feel like doing it, you can deceive your colleague or a member of the family that task was meant for him or her. In this case, you will have plenty of time to do your own things or to enjoy yourself. Another way of avoiding household chores is by pretending to have a lot of work. This trick is common among school-going children. Most of them pretend to have a lot of homework or exams the following day and therefore need more time to finish their work or revise for the exams (Keller 2).
In summary, there are numerous ways of avoiding household chores; some of them are mere tricks, while others entail deception. Some of these tricks are practicable, and others are technically hard to achieve. For instance, the use of camouflage, lookalikes, the fiddling of alarm clocks, and the use of mannequins is very rare. On the other hand, feigning illness, hiding, feigning injury, and excess work is very common since they are very easy to achieve.
Some tricks are easily detectable, while others are difficult to suspect. Therefore, it is upon you to choose the best trick that suites the occasion. Believe me or not, most of these tricks are detectable; if you do away with it today, sooner or later, you will be discovered. But in the meantime, enjoy yourself with the small respite from the monster chores.
Work Cited
Gyaan, Aditya. How to Avoid Doing Chores. 2008. Web.
Keller, Helen. How to Avoid Doing Household. 2009. Web.
Marx, Woody. Tips for Men: How to Get Out Of Doing Home Chores. 2009. Web.