“Stress is internal body process that results from body demands that exceed body’s ability to effectively deal with it and the failure to respond has undesirable effects” (Holmes & Rahe, 1967, p. 213 ). An emotion is a mental or physiological state associated with thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The feeling is experiences of bodily changes. Due to stress, people may change their behavior and their emotional feeling towards themselves and others.
The reasons why people behave in a certain way can be explained by their emotional state such as crying or fighting. If emotions do not lead to the occurrence of certain behavior, then we can say that the behavior is not essential to that certain emotion. We can only say that emotion results in certain behavior which changes body feelings. The functions of the mind, nervous system and immune system relate to each other and stress can affect their function.
Stress can be applied in studying human perception and responses in trying to adapt to the challenges of life. When a body is put under unpleasant conditions, it undergoes a series of reactions with certain stages. Upon realization of the threat, the body produces adrenaline which provides the fight response. The body attempts to find some means of coping with stress as the stressor persists. The body may try to adapt to the condition of the new environment, even though for a short period. It reaches a point where the body can no longer maintain normal function when stressed. If this continues for a while, the immune system gets exhausted and long-term damages may be done to the body. The result can be illnesses such as Ulcers, depression, and mental illness. If stress enhances physical, mental functions of the body are considered eustress, whiles that which is not solved through coping or adaptation is known as distress.
In our lives, we engage in relationships expected to be lifetime with one, two, or more people. In this world we live one can not live alone, we need the help of others for our survival and wellbeing. At every point of our lives, we mingle with every kind of people with whom we relate in one way or the other. As a result of desires to be part of society, to form families, and to avoid loneliness we find ourselves in relationships. These interrelationships take place in some contexts such as friends, families, marriages, clubs, churches, and neighbors. Relationships are not made to be static but, dynamic processes intended to last forever. These relationships are bound together by certain emotions such as “love, liking and other forms of social commitments” (Holmes & Rahe, 1967, p. 216). Interrelationships are the basic unit information of social groups which form the entire society. Psychologists believe that there are factors that drive people into forming and maintaining caring relationships. People in relationships expect their relationship to be stable and satisfying the needs of entering into the relationship. If any relationship is deficient in either of the two aspects then people in the relationship will feel lonely, depressed, and unhappy and might break the closeness.
Social exchange theory suggests that people in a relationship value their relation basing on benefits accruing from that relationship. This theory has been criticized by the theory of equity which advocates for equal and fair treatment of parties in a relationship. We in much a time involve ourselves in very close interpersonal relationships. An intimate relationship is a kind of relationship whereby the parties are so close, trust each other much, and is characterized by both “physical and emotional intimacy”. People in intimate relationships are commonly referred to as couples especially if they have been in that relationship for a long. Not all relationships are beneficial and therefore before entering into any relationship we should be prepared for the consequences brought about by our relationship. Love is usually the main factor that holds together intimate relationships. When we are in relationships we can choose the degree of closeness and love. So it is necessary to understand ourselves and our inner self before engaging in any relationships. Understanding ourselves helps us to avoid being absorbed in the relationship hence standing by our side.
Intimate relationships are based on true love and the parties into the relationships share resources freely. In true love relationships, there is; “continuous desire to know one another more and more, respect, acceptance, and sacrifice. At this level of relationship, love drives people crazy; one is controlled by his heart rather than mind when loving fellow partner” (Blau, 1964). When people are in this form of relationship they are happy, feel part of society, and caring. People uphold human dignity; that is, lovers try as much as possible to maintain their identity when in love. There is no manipulation on either party; the relationship is purely bond by respect and understanding. People in these relationships treat each other with consideration and tenderness. They try to uplift each other, comfort and please each other.
Stress affects us and our relationships. We usually find ourselves stressed and this stress may affect our relationship without our knowledge. Stress is one of the leading causes of separation in relationships according to studies. Stressed people make mistakes and the consequences of such mistakes may be felt by other people. You will no wish to travel in a vehicle whose driver is stressed or you may not wish to be treated by a doctor who is under stress and so on. Likewise, if partners are stressed their relationship may be in danger of dying. It is advisable to try and manage the stress in our relationship at its initial stages. Stress makes us feel unjustified in our relations and may lead us into quarrels with our partners for no genuine reasons. Our frustrations are sometimes a result of being stressed though we may not realize it. If we do not accept this, it would be easy to end our frustration with our partners by being short-tempered and even hurting them. Stress affects our thinking ability and the way we think about things. We find ourselves bothering our partners for things that are not very important in the real sense but, because we are under stress they now seem crucial than they might be. Stress leads people to think outside the context of the relationship. We may accuse our partner of no reason when stressed.
Stress in an intimate relationship may be a result of many things and affects either of the partners. Take an example where a couple has lost one of their children due to illness or accident. The stress of losing the child may bring bitterness that may separate the two. Men and women do not deal with the loss of a child the same way. Women are said to seek supportive programs to help them go through while men tend to be contented with the impact and do not show their emotional feelings. Therefore they must understand each other mode of coping with such kind of loss to allow for a successful recovery from grief. Women may expect men to express their feeling the same way as them although some men don’t like expressing their feeling in public. This situation may cause a temporary separation as one partner asks for time to be alone and the other call for unity. Their difference in overcoming grief may interfere with getting their needs met, hence the couples must communicate their needs and solve them openly.
Some people think that drinking and drug use will relieve them from stress. Drug abuse increases stress and may be harmful to any relationship. Abuse of drugs cannot solve marital relationships it only drives happiness away from any relationships. Drug abuse proves worse in the relationship especially if one of the parties in relation does not drink or smoke. Increased drug abuse creates an emotional gap between partners that may not be overcome in the future. As result, these couples fight and argue much which sometimes maybe violet.
Financial difficulties result in stress to people more so, to married people. Everybody strives for a better future life which can only be achieved through the acquisition of wealth. In the modern world, finances are seen as the key holding element in the relationship other than love. Lack of money causes stress in relationships and may lead to separation. Again as people strive to earn wealth they tend to spend much time away from their partners increasing stress. Stress may cause people to move away from their relationship never to come back and even enter into other relationships. It’s fact that stress breaks relationships and may even cause deaths if it’s extreme. Relationships are entered by different people of varying natures. Therefore, it’s important to handle stress at its initial stages by making issues known to each party in the relationship. Honest communication and the desire to change attitudes and practices may solve stress before the worst happens.
References
- Blau, P. M. (1964). Exchange and power in social life. New York: Wiley.
- Holmes, T.H. and Rahe, R.H. (1967). The social readjustments rating scales. Journal of Psychosomatic Research 11, p 213-218.