In the Muslim religion, which is most widespread in the Arabian countries and among the Arabian people, marriage is perceived differently than in the American culture. Families usually convince their children to get married in their early twenties for reasons like having grandchildren and worrying about the girl’s virginity. Therefore, people in this culture tend to marry quite early. Girls can be particularly pressured because they have less freedom to initiate a marriage. This paper aims to discuss marriage in Islam and among the Muslim people living in different countries.
Interestingly, the Arabian people tend to be less strict about choosing future partners for their children than some other cultures. India is famously known for its strong family ties and tendency to choose partners for children (Nanda 1). Westerners may wonder how ubiquitous this trend is. Most Indian brides do not personally know their future husbands, and many are not too worried about this. Some people think that parents, in this way, save them from unnecessary trouble and allow them to enjoy life. Indian girls believe that because people choose their partners in America, teenagers are too worried about self-esteem and popularity and that this trend may be a significant social problem (Nanda 1). Moreover, couples who choose to choose their mate in India are severely condemned by parents and family and deprived of social support. Therefore, many Indian girls are perplexed about how it is possible to exchange family ties with numerous social connections for the help of just one person.
American culture has set a unique precedent for mixed marriages, given how many different cultures live in this country. Therefore, here you can find a variety of non-traditional alliances, which is less typical for the countries of the Middle East. For example, Firoozeh Dumas told the story of her marriage and how her parents and her husband François’s parents perceived their marriage (Dumas 75). The woman began the story by explaining a phenomenon or tradition in which Muslim and Arab parents would never agree to a daughter’s marriage to a man if his parents disapproved of the bride. Therefore, Firoozeh had to deceive his mother and say that François’s parents were very happy with her, although the truth was that François’s mother strongly opposed his marriage to an Iranian Muslim girl.
Fortunately, this did not stop the lovers from continuing their relationship, which ended in a wedding. Firoozeh describes in detail their acquaintance of François with her parents and how they liked him because of his personality and regardless of his nationality and faith. The girl was amazed at how easily her mother betrayed her seemingly well-established principles and intentions to choose an Iranian husband for her, preferably a doctor, and accepted François. Firoozeh’s father also approved her choice, although not without paternal concern about how to “pass her into good hands.” Firoozeh and François then began to plan the wedding, which was attended by only a tiny part of the groom’s relatives, including his parents, grandmother, and younger sister. The rest of the brothers-in-law, sisters, uncles, aunts, and grandmothers refused for very different reasons.
For example, the older sister refused to be in the same room with the mother and younger sister François, and the maternal grandmother refused to come on principle. At the same time, the maternal aunt, like her four sons, was not invited due to a long-standing family quarrel. Therefore, from François’s side, only four people were present at the wedding. The situation was drastically different for Firoozeh, whose parents invited 140 people, of whom 161 accepted invitations and 180 came to the wedding (Dumas 78). Therefore, it is difficult to say that the family did not support Firoozeh’s choice. The wedding ceremony was another problem that the lovers had to solve. Firoozeh and François decided to hold the wedding ceremony in the Catholic Church since a suitable Muslim church in Los Angeles would agree to conduct a mixed ceremony. Firoozeh negotiated with the priest quickly, so he prepared the newlyweds for the ceremony under Christian traditions.
Thus, the marriage attitudes among the Muslim people living in different countries were discussed. This essay demonstrates that, despite traditionally strict views on mixed marriages, Muslim families primarily pay attention to the background and personality of the future son-in-law and are ready to accept him as a result if they like him. At the same time, Indian families may be more conservative in India, while Indian American families have more modern views. In other words, liberal views on marriage are becoming more widespread even in the most traditionally minded countries, such as India, Iran, or other countries in the Middle East. At the same time, in America, the younger generation’s representatives of the Muslim religion are encouraging their parents and older relatives to change their attitudes towards traditional marriage.
Works Cited
Dumas, Firoozeh. Funny in Farsi: A Memoir of Growing Up Iranian in America. Random House, 2007.
Nanda, S. (1992). Arranging a Marriage in India. Distant Mirrors: America as a foreign culture, 124-135.