Making Small Talk
Small talk is a relatively short conversation that is not particularly deep in meaning but can be extremely important for creating an impression or getting to know someone. Small talk has rules for the most engaging and creative communication, and it is essential to know them to enjoy the small talk experience. Firstly, it is necessary to know some things about making small talk. The most important one is creating a positive association with you. This is done by focusing on positive things in the conversation rather than on the negative ones (DeVito, 2019).
For example, when talking about the weather, the food, the music, and preferences regarding any other things in general, it is better to talk about the likes and omit dislikes. A bad thing to do when making small talk would be to demonstrate disinterest in the other person by monologuing without asking them questions.
Making an Apology
Like making small talk, apologizing can be both effective and ineffective. Knowing or not knowing how to make an apology can make or break a relationship. Thus, there are some rules to follow that can help avoid misunderstandings and resentment.
Firstly, the most important thing is to admit your responsibility without making excuses for your actions (DeVito, 2019). For example, if you start with “I am sorry I…”, do not continue the phrase with “but…”: making an excuse makes an apology less sincere. Another important thing is to show concern for the other person’s feelings. When apologizing, one needs to demonstrate that they understand how their actions were hurtful (DeVito, 2019). Do not diminish the other person’s feelings or show that you think they overreacted.
Giving a Compliment
Giving compliments is another type of communication art that one needs to master. Compliments can even be offensive when given without proper consideration. The first and most important recommendation is to be honest and only compliment someone when you mean it (DeVito, 2019).
Dishonest flattery is often apparent, and the effect of this type of compliment can be harmful and can ruin a person’s impression of you. The same goes for exaggerated flattery: when you give a compliment that praises a person too much, it does not sound realistic, which makes the person doubt your words. The last thing that can be done to give an excellent compliment is personalizing it (DeVito, 2019). For example, when complimenting someone’s cooking skills, say, “I liked the food you cooked, it reminded me of my grandmother’s cooking and made me feel at home!”
Receiving a Compliment
Just like giving compliments, one must know how to react when receiving them. If we are too arrogant or, on the contrary, too shy, or respond inappropriately, this can ruin the conversation or the entire relationship. These are some of the recommendations to follow when accepting praise.
The first is to avoid denying the praise that you have received (DeVito, 2019). For example, when one says “I liked your performance on stage!” try not to say “Thank you, but I was not very good”. Gracefully accept the compliment and agree with the person; otherwise, they will feel reluctant to compliment you next time. Minimizing the compliment is not an appropriate strategy either: saying “My performance was nothing special” will diminish the importance of the compliment and ruin the conversation.
Reference
DeVito, J. A. (2019). Essentials of human communication (10th ed.). Pearson Education.