The experience of living involves a wide range of feelings. There are times when it is full of happy moments, and other times when it is full of sad moments, scary moments, learning moments, discovery moments, and so on. Experiences that occur throughout one’s life allow for the investigation of life. These events molded and formed us into the people that we are today. Since everyone’s life is made up of a series of events, some of which cannot be stopped by any amount of human effort, no one is exempt from the occurrence of these things (Kristjánsson, 2020). These kinds of experiences shape not only our personalities but also our relationships and even our behaviors (Kristjánsson, 2020). Some of the occurrences are joyful times that we look back on with fondness, while others are beneficial because we gain knowledge from them and become better people. The memory of still others, which is traumatic and painful, can stay with us for a very long time, and there are some experiences from which we never fully recover.
I was unfortunate enough to go through one of these traumatic experiences in which a friend and I were involved in a terrible road accident. Although it took me a very long time to recover from what had happened, I did learn an important lesson about the importance of appreciating people and valuing their presence in your life. Around the time I turned nine years old, my family and I relocated to a different state. Everything was different from what I had been accustomed to up until that point. I was a young person who was always up for a good time, and I longed to have a friend with whom I could hang out. Lilian was the name of a young girl who lived in the area and was the same age as me. We became friends quickly, and I enrolled in the same school she was attending to spend more time together.
Since we were in the same class together, our friendship developed even further. We were excellent friends at school and at my house and spent a lot of time together. We learned most of the activities that young girls discover at this age together, such as riding bicycles, playing football, cooking, and other enjoyable activities. These activities include riding bicycles, playing football, and cooking. It just so happened that we were both big fans of doing things outside.
In addition, our parents would organize family outings to zoos, museums, and amusement parks where we could all play together. Our connection deepened over time, and we came to value our ongoing friendship. When it came time to enroll in high school, each of us went our separate ways because we had different ideas about the kinds of jobs we wanted to have after we had finished school. It was not accessible to part ways, but we were confident our friendship would endure. We made the most of the time off from school by spending it together, getting to know one another better, and committing to being there for one another in times of need.
Lilian was the kind of person I could count on in any situation, and she would never be afraid to correct me if I did something foolish. I would also offer her some advice on various matters. People looked up to our friendship because we helped each other get our lives back on track to such an extent that it was admirable. Because we made positive use of our time, our parents were also very proud of us. After what seemed like an endless amount of time spent in class, we eagerly anticipated the arrival of the summer break during one of our years in high school. When we got together again, it was time to talk about everything that had happened in the interim.
Many topics were discussed, ranging from academic to recent discoveries. We decided that instead of doing anything productive with our summer vacation, we would squander it by volunteering at a nonprofit that works with disadvantaged children to teach them basic skills. It was a fantastic way to spend our holiday and an excellent opportunity to give back to the community. We would carry out these activities four days a week with the help of others who volunteered their time. We would visit several schools and children’s homes with the team overseeing the project. We enjoyed the experience because we were pleased with our work. We went to one of the designated schools on a specific day and spent quality time with autistic students.
Since the day had been so hectic, everyone on the team was exhausted when they went to bed. When we arrived at the vehicle that would take us back to our homes, it was already dark, and I fell asleep on the ride due to exhaustion. Screams, loud cries, and sirens were what woke me up. I went unconscious immediately but regained consciousness while in the hospital. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see both of my parents standing beside me. They informed me of what had occurred and expressed relief that I was still alive and had survived the incident.
As soon as I regained consciousness, I remembered the previous night’s events and inquired about my good friend Lilian. Their expressions immediately alerted me to the fact that something was wrong. They would exchange glances before pretending to ignore the question. I was determined to do it for some reason, and I am still baffled as to why no one responded. My worst nightmare came true when I begged them, but they refused. Unfortunately, I learned that Lilian and another volunteer had both died due to internal bleeding caused by an accident. I found it difficult to believe because I did not want to entertain the possibility, and a small part kept telling myself that it had to be a nightmare.
When I realized this terrible news was accurate, it felt like someone had jabbed me in the chest; I could not imagine going through life without my best friend, Lilian. My parents tried to console me several times as I screamed her name repeatedly. It was suggested that I see a therapist to lessen the impact on my mental and physical health. I was left with the impression that life was extremely unfair because I could not understand how I could have lost such a dear friend. When Lilian died so suddenly, when he was so young and full of promise, I had many unanswered questions. I was privy to many of his fantastical fantasies because he frequently shared them with me. He was upbeat and had high expectations. He intended to follow in her footsteps, as she had always wanted to work in medicine. He told me he wanted to assist the poor in gaining access to her services if they required them. Her first choice was a developing-world country, but she did not specify which one.
The brutality of death had cut short Lilian’s life and her vision. Even many years after her death, I still cannot accept it. We are still in pain. Losing Lilian was a devastating experience. To think of all the happy times, we would have together been torturous. The very thought of her was devastating, and I could feel its effects on my body. Because of the pressure, I began to feel down. That was the darkest time of my life. My recovery from the trauma of that experience lasted a long time. It has been an entire decade since Lilian passed away. I cannot deny that it hurts to think about it now.
Changes in my life have been dramatic. My family, including my parents, my friend Lilian’s parents, and some counselors, helped me through the complex recovery process, but I was ultimately on my own. Because Lilian was their only child, Lilian’s loss was excruciating for her parents. A sense of weakness and guilt persists in me. My constant preoccupation is whether or not I could have prevented Lilian’s death. I took the blame for a long time before I realized it was not my fault and that we cannot always prevent bad things from happening. There is no going back now. To my surprise, I learned that everyone has to endure suffering. No one can truly comprehend the anguish of those affected by a tragedy like this until they have experienced it. Even though I have many friends and continue to make new ones, no one can replace Lilian.
Every day I think back on the good times we shared. To this day, the space Lilian once occupied in my heart remains sadly empty. I like to fantasize about what she might be up to now if she were still here. When I consider all the people who could have benefited from her work by now, I cannot help but feel that death is incredibly unfair. The internal suffering is still very much raw. Due to the persistence of my recollections, it is as if the accident had just happened yesterday. I am sorry for her parents, too, because she was their pride and joy. I had progressed significantly in my recovery from the loss, but I still felt that my happiness was incomplete. I have lost a trusted confidant and a fellow dreamer.
My perspective on life has been altered due to Lilian’s death. I have developed an appreciation for people, particularly those whom I love and for whom I care deeply. I now see more meaning in life and am grateful for every moment I experience it. I have decided to live my life to the fullest and positively impact the world. I do not doubt that she is pleased with the number of people whose lives she has improved as a result of her work as a volunteer and the expressions of gratitude she has received as a result of her altruistic commitment to charitable causes. Lilian possessed a large heart that had the potential to alter a great deal of the circumstances in the world. Even though it is possible that I will not live to see her dream come true, I have made it a point to model myself after her vision in order to ensure that it does.
Reference
Kristjánsson, K. (2020). Aristotelian character friendship as a ‘method’ of moral education. Studies in Philosophy and Education, 39(4), 349–364. Web.