Unless a person is living the life of a hermit, hiding in some distant mountaintop, there is always an opportunity to communicate. Even for the loner type who continues to toil all day and work all night and yet find no time to play, they still engage in conversation. One-on-one conversation constantly occurs in the home, in the workplace, office, school, church, and even in places of leisure. Conversations can be between two individuals but most of the time it occurs in a group setting. It can be an all-male group, an all-female group, or a mixed gender group. The proponent of this paper set out to observe the intricacies of conversations in these three groups and it was discovered that there are differences in the way they interact and it can be argued that it has something to do with gender and this influenced how they behave within a group.
The best way to understand how all-male, all-female, and mixed-gender groups converse with each other, is advantageous to be part of a group. But there is also an advantage in observing from a distance to understand how homogeneity affects the group. Another technique is to eavesdrop and listen to the conversation occurring nearby. These techniques are best used in a public place like a restaurant or on campus. Based on initial findings it can be said that there are at least three things that can be readily observable in these settings:
- There is a distinct difference in the content of conversation;
- There is a distinct difference in the types of gestures used and the way males and females generally behaved when conversing with each other; and
- It cannot be said with certainty if it is the male or the female who has the propensity to dominate the conversation.
Before going any further it must be pointed out that the proponent of this paper was never able to fully understand what was being said in the group conversations. This is especially true when the mode of gathering data was “eavesdropping” on nearby groups. Most of the time the proponent was only able to get bits and pieces of the messages and has to make assumptions regarding what was said (Bortfeld, 2001). But during the time when the proponent is part of the group it is easy to understand why sometimes messages seem to be broken and not coherent. The person in a group does not have to say everything plainly because he or she can substitute words with gestures and they also are knowledgeable about the background information needed to understand what the other person said.
All Male Group
One of the most striking features of all-male group conversation is that there are periods when they are not talking. They are content to simply look at their mobile phones, doing something with a gadget that they brought along. It is even perfectly acceptable if someone from the group ignores the whole conversation be content with reading a book or a newspaper. But it is understood that the one reading is still part of the group even if he is not actively engaged in the conversion process. From time to time he can join in and offer a few words then goes back to reading.
There seems to be disunity in the all-male group, it seems that their individualism shows although it is also apparent that there is someone who seems to be acting as the leader or facilitator. Another interesting feature of the all-male group is the content of the conversation. It seems that they are not comfortable with talking about family issues. It is also possible that they are more comfortable talking about sports and business endeavors rather than discussing marital problems or issues concerning their children.
It has been mentioned that the all-male group may appear to be disjointed from a distance, meaning there are members of the group who seem to be minding their own business and not really into the conversation. This is very evident if this person has access to an object of interest or an electronic gadget. There is also another related feature which is the distance between the members of the group; there is the significant spacing between each of them. There are no hugging, no clutching of hands, and very minimal touching. If someone will touch another it will be a hand over someone’s shoulder. But it is a very masculine move and sometimes the man will slap the other on the back or lightly punch another in the shoulder.
All Female Group
While there seems to be disunity in the all-male group it is the reverse in the all-female group. It seems that everyone is in sync and focused on one topic. Everyone who is part of the group contributes to the discussion. It is hard to find a female within that group who will deliberately read a book or do something while her friends are talking. There is no significant spacing between them. It is common to find someone hugging the other or leaning very close to someone.
The content of the conversation focuses on relationships. For an adult group, the topic will inevitably center on the family – their boyfriend, husband, kids, and parents. There seems to be an insistence on knowing the emotional as well as the physical state of one another and also those of their family members. If this topic has been discussed thoroughly then they move on to talk about other people but there is still that common theme – relationships. Sports is not a common topic of interest.
There is some sort of gentleness in the way they relate to each other. One can only think of the word femininity because there is no other appropriate term that can be used to describe this behavior. It is characterized by a caring and nurturing attitude. The women were also more animated than the all-male group and it is rare to find them become silent for long periods of time. It seems that they cannot stop talking and there is more energy to their conversations.
Mixed Group
It is interesting to find out that the male and female members of the mixed group continued to behave in the way that they would behave if they are in a homogenous grouping. The female continues to be more demonstrative of what they feel about a certain topic while the men can be emotionally detached from topics such as family, work, etc. This may not suggest that the men were not interested but it is simply not easy to detect how much they really feel about the issue. The men can talk in a pragmatic way but the women could not hide what they truly feel about the issue.
Conclusion
There are significant differences when comparing all-male and all-female groups. The men are more cautious when it comes to displaying their true feelings and if they feel like it is time to demonstrate how they feel inside and use non-verbal signs to communicate they do so using very masculine actions like slapping their friends at the back or lightly punching them in the shoulder. This seems to be a way of saying that they are really fond of this person or that they enjoy each other’s company. But for women, there is no need to cloak their emotions and if there is a need to hug someone then they do it without reservation. If there is a need to gently touch the other person’s hand then the woman would do it in a heartbeat.
The information gathered from the mixed group makes it easy to conclude that their behavior is gender-related because when men and women come together they continue to behave in the same way as if they were still in a homogenous group (Gilbert, Fiske & Gardner, 1998). In other words, the women were unable to influence men to behave as they do and vice versa. The only significant change is the topic of conversation. If there are women present, men can be persuaded to talk about things other than business or sports (Romaine, 1999). There is also not enough information to conclude if a man or woman has the propensity to dominate the conversation.
Observation
All Male Group
- Distance between men is significantly different than women.
- There are times when they are silent, content in examining their mobile phones and other gadgets.
- The topic of conversation usually about sports, business, gadgets, cars and other mechanical and electrical stuff.
- Family issues are rarely discussed and if they do it is very superficial like how is so and so etc.
All Female Group
- There is a deliberate way of trying to find out how the other person is doing.
- They talk about family and the common theme is relationships, health and other family matters.
- They talk about their husbands if married and if not about their boyfriends.
- They can express what they feel by touching and hugging.
Mixed Group
- The women behave as if they are still in a homogeneous group.
- The men behave as if they are still in the all male group.
- The men continue to be pragmatic in their discussion
- The women on the other hand continue to talk about relationships and family
- Not enough information to determine if it is the man or the woman who has the propensity to dominate the discussion/conversation.
Works Cited
Romaine, Suzanne. Communicating Gender. New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., 1999.
Gilbert, Daniel, Susan Fiske, & Gardner Lindzey. The Handbook of Social Psychology. 4th ed. New York: Oxford University Press, Inc., 1998.
Bortfeld, Heather et al. Disfluency Rates in Conversation: Effects of Age, Relationship, Topic, Role, and Gender. Language and Speech 2001. 44(2): 123-143.