When a person reaches old age he is already much acquainted with the loss of loved ones and chronic impairments associated with aging (Tobin, 1988). In this regard, it is common to find people in old age to experience psychological problems. Yet, there are those who seem to have discovered the necessary coping mechanisms to go through the final stage of their lives without being overly distressed by the negative effects of loss. The said coping mechanisms can be understood using two theoretical frameworks, namely, self-psychology and attachment theory.
In order to utilize theoretical frameworks used in the field of psychology, the proponent of this study interviewed Ralph Prior, an 84-year-old white male. He is now currently staying in a center for aging seniors and this is located within the Boston area. In the course of the interview, it became clear that Mr. Prior had a rough time dealing with loss, his vitality, his home, and especially his wife. Before going any further it is important to first discuss the nature of old age and why the idea of loss is a distinct characteristic in this stage of human existence.
Understanding Old Age
According to Sluzki, “Old age is both a biologic reality and a social construct” (2000); this is especially true when one compares the very old and the very young. When one is much younger death and loss were never part of the thought process. But as old age approaches there is the unmistakable sign of loss (Loewenstein, 1988). Physical vigor is no longer what it used to be (Min, 2005). There are body parts that are missing, especially, the hair, teeth and in cases of serious illness or injury limbs, breasts, or internal organs may have been lost to surgical operation or accidents. The frailty of the human body will never be felt more acutely than in old age (Lapsley, 1993). As a result, older people may react negatively to these changes (Greene & Cohen, 2005).
An old man will feel the effects of aging but aside from the biological symptoms of advancing age the social aspect of aging is one that is arguably much harder to take (Stroebe, M. et al., 1992). The social aspect of aging includes relationships as well as how the person views himself as everything around him continues to change drastically. In order for social workers to help them go through this difficult stage, it is best to understand a few theoretical frameworks that will help the social worker gain the necessary knowledge and skills. For instance, the old person will have to struggle with the cumulative effects of the stages of the family life cycle (Carter & McGoldrick, 1989). By this time the elderly would have gone through the pain and suffering of seeing children grow old and leave the house.
Attachment theory is one of the many theories that can help understand what old age can do to a person. Attachment theory is founded on the idea that humans develop this instinctive behavior in the infancy stage and therefore it is linked to the mother-child relationship (Bowlby & Parkes, 1970). While attachment behavior can be readily observed during childhood, “…it nonetheless continues to be active during adult life when it is usually directed towards some active and dominant figure, often a relative but sometimes an employer or some elder of the community” (Bowlby & Parkes, 1970).
In the case of the interviewee, the impact of attachment theory can be seen in how he is still being affected by the actions of his father many decades ago. It is interesting to note that even if his father had died a long time ago his influence continues to linger in the life of Mr. Prior. He was not secure in his relationship with his father. Mr. Prior could still remember the fact that he had to go through periods of physical punishment from his father. He tried to justify his actions as a result of him being a disciplinarian but in this theoretical, it can be suggested that Mr. Prior needed some healing in this area of his life.
The second theoretical framework is a loosely defined idea of self-psychology that can be found in Sheldon Tobin’s Preservation of Self in Old Age. Tobin argued that old age is a state of mind and the very old use unique psychological mechanisms to preserve the self (1988). In this form of self-psychology, the coping mechanism can be seen in the use of “…dramatization to reconstruct reminiscence” (Tobin, 1988). Aside from exaggerating the description of past experiences, another coping technique is to relinquish reality and use evidence, “…based on wishes and distortions to maintain self-consistency” and to maintain selfsameness no matter what the cost (Tobin, 1988). The same coping mechanism was observed in other studies (Loewenstein, 1981). Finally, these different coping mechanisms can be detected in the way Mr. Prior responded to questions as well as how he described the past in relation to the present.
Analysis of Mr. Prior’s Case
Attachment theory can be used to explain the behavior of Mr. Prior. The traditional use of this theory is to examine the relationship between child and mother. In the case of Mr. Prior attachment theory is more applicable when it comes to his relationship with his father. In this theoretical framework, the child experiences the effects of “attachment” to someone in order for him to feel safe. Mr. Prior’s father serves this function. His father was a tremendous influence in his life, although ironically he also found him abusive. Although his father was very strict it seems that he was considered as the sole authority in the house and only his decisions matter.
This was made clear when Mr. Prior described not only the discipline imposed in the home but also the fact that his father decided to send his brother to college while Mr. Prior and his sister were not given the same chance. His father was like a god in the household and his actions continue to reverberate in the life of the interviewee even if he was already dead. His father was an alcoholic and instead of avoiding this problem, Mr. Prior confessed that he too struggled with alcoholism. He believes that this problem is genetic but it can be argued that he still has to deal with issues regarding his problematic relationship with his father. A possible solution is to seek professional help to help him sort out the web of intricate emotions that resulted from an abusive past. He may also need to grieve the passing of the father that he both admired and abhorred at the same time.
Sheldon Tobin’s idea of the dramatization of reminiscence, as well as the act of relinquishing reality to maintain selfsameness, can help explain Mr. Prior’s behavior as well as the coping mechanism that he utilized to go through his daily routines. In the interview, Mr. Prior was fond of talking about his World War II exploits and how his friends treated him like a hero when he came home. It was his way of dealing with aging and a not-so-perfect past. By highlighting the great moments Mr. Prior was able to cope. It was interesting to discover that the interviewees’ words and actions corroborated much of what Tobin remarked as coping mechanisms in old age.
Every time Mr. Prior recalled a portion of his life history one could notice that he was proud of his generation. He believed life was much better back in the good old days. This can be seen in how he described the nature of crime while he was still young and then compare it to the type of criminality experienced in the 21st century. He said that they knew very well the meaning of crime but compared to the present he was aghast at the number of loose firearms that can be found in the streets of America. Aside from talking about the beauty of the past Mr. Prior also exhibited what Tobin called the “dramatization of reminiscence” when he talked about his role when racism was rampant in America. During his time, while a lot of people were guilty of discrimination against African Americans Mr. Prior behaved differently. He respected the blacks even if the people around him did not.
When it came to his wife, Mr. Prior combined the use of reminiscence and the relinquishing of reality to maintain his idea of self. This is because he is divorced, living in a center for senior citizens and yet he still cared deeply about his wife. They cannot be together due to many factors and yet he wanted to be with her. He cried during the interview because he is not only separated from his wife, she is also suffering from Alzheimer’s. He described her as if they are not divorced by separated only by circumstances. His ability to relinquish reality is made more certain when he would simply laugh when asked about his illness but when it is time to discuss his wife he would weep unashamedly.
It would be helpful to consider also the ideas proposed by Freud when it comes to coping mechanisms. Freud may prefer to use the term defense mechanisms as he sees man driven not only by a rational mind but by instincts also. Freud’s idea is similar to what psychologists had been harping for many decades and it is the realization that humans, like animals, are affected by the environment. In the case of humans, the environment refers not only to the physical world composed of living and non-living matter that affects behavior but also the interaction between parent and child. In the case of Mr. Prior, there was ample discussion with regards to the effect of his father’s discipline as well as his father’s inability to communicate his love for his children. Needless to say this has made it difficult for Mr. Prior to adjust to life outside the home.
It is therefore interesting to find Mr. Prior, able to adapt to the changes of old age knowing that he has gone through so much trauma in his lifetime. There was not enough information regarding the full effect of his participation in the Second World War, and perhaps a follow-up interview may be needed to fully ascertain if Mr. Prior had no problems dealing with effects of war. Yet based on the information gleaned from the interview it is clear that Mr. Prior was able to resist the temptation of withdrawal, a very common reaction in people age 65 and above.
Conclusion
Mr. Prior is suffering from the negative effects of aging. He is not only dealing with it in the biological realm he is also dealing with it in the social realm. He is sick, is living in a place reserved for aging senior citizens and he is also divorced from the woman that he loves. Aside from all these problems he had unresolved issues regarding his relationship with his deceased father. With regards to his father there is no evidence that he was able to develop any coping mechanism and the social worker assigned to him may refer him to a professional to deal with his problems. When it came to the other aspects of his life he was able to develop coping mechanisms such as the capacity to see that he lived a fruitful and wonderful life being a good father to two successful sons. His participation in World War II gave added meaning to his life.
The discussion pointed to coping mechanisms that Mr. Prior developed through the decades. There were many technical explanations as to why he was able to survive and went on with his life even if he is surrounded by the evidence of loss. He was able to go through all of that and learned how to be contented with the negative as well as positive impact of change because he is not only a wise man he is also resilient. In this case resilience is not the absence of vulnerability as shown by his reactions to piercing questions that forced him to break down and cry but it demonstrated by the positive adaptation to life’s challenges.
References
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