Introduction
According to Kanto (2002), passive aggressive behavior is a hidden abuse that is restrained and is portrayed by actions that appear to be normal but unspoken, for instance, sighing, rolling eyes, tapping the table among others. In this behavior, the person formulates an awkward solution to evade conflict and anger; he formulates reasons as to why he or she did not take his or her responsibilities.
This behavior is applied when a person does not want to face the responsibility and cannot say no when questioned; instead of doing the work, the person plans on how to excuse him or herself from doing the assigned task. Passive aggressive behavior does not give room for understanding as to the person that inhibits it denies the fact that he or she is irritated and upset whilst he or she still communicates the irritation. This kind of behavior is controlling as its aim of allowing a person to evade his or her responsibility for his or her actions is achieved and it gives them the power when conversing with others.
Passive aggressive people make empty promises; they will say thing or make promises that they will never fulfill. When this person is questioned about the promise made they will comply easily but they will never fulfill the promise.
People who exhibit this behavior seem to forget everything they said or agreed and blame other people or situations for their failure (Furnham, 2008). The art of forgetting is used to avoid responsibilities and they make sure that they put blame on something or someone and thus they are free i.e. having no fault. However, when one gets upset due to their behavior, they feel that they are being treated unfairly because according to them it is not their fault that something went bad. Moreover, a person who exhibits passive aggressive behavior, does not show their anger and most of the time seems to be happy on the outside even though he is mad in the inside.
This makes them keep things to their selves and portray their anger in a hidden way. Even when he or she in depending on you, the passive aggressive person will claim that he or she is independent; they, however, do not trust anyone and seem to defend themselves against intimate connection with anyone. These people seem to have their own working timetable and not follow the boss’s order of deadlines (Bernstein A. J., 2002).
Conditions that precede passive aggressive behavior
Passive aggressive behavior results from poor parenting where a child gets punished for trying to express his or her needs. This makes the child adopt the passive aggressive behaviors so as to cope with the punishment. In adulthood, this child may develop low self esteem and regard all those they are working with to be more superior to them and thus will honour every request post by them. However, they will feel hatred, disappointment and anger toward the same people in power as they feel that they are not being treated fairly (Kanto, 2002).
Moreover, passive aggressive behavior also stems from the need of an individual to please someone and thus they will make promises that they will never fulfill. This kind of behavior may also result from the need to detach oneself from an intimate relationship. The person will behave in a manner that sends a message of detachment, for instance, withdrawing sex, so that the other person can end the intimate relationship. To add to this passive aggressive behavior may result from fear of consequences resulting from expressed feelings. A person may fear that when he or she expresses their feelings, the consequences may be drastic and thus opt to remain passive (Bernstein, 2002)
Consequences of passive aggressive behavior
The consequences of passive aggressive behavior are not immediate but aggregate over a span of time when the individual to whom the behavior is directed to becomes aware of the renounced aggression coming from the person. This may lead to relationship breakdown as one party may feel rejected and hated (Kanto, 2002). Moreover, passive aggressive behavior may lead to physical illness such as alcoholism or drug addiction which is aimed at self destruction. This is because the person may feel that he is not being treated fairly and to drain the frustrations away he or she may result to alcoholism or drug addiction.
Passive aggressive behavior may also result in mental breakdown and mental health disorder, for instance anxiety because the person is so stressed by the anger inside him or her and he or she does not want to let it go (Bernstein 2002). Passive aggressiveness has also resulted to irresponsible parenting resulting to mental problems in their children. This is because these parents do not take parenting seriously and thus their children are affected by their irresponsible attitude.
Psychological explanation of passive aggressive behavior
Psychologically, passive aggressive behavior is seen as a personality disorder. It is characterized by oblique resistance to demands and outlooks of others through hidden means such as forgetting, being stubborn, inefficient and adjournment of responsibilities assigned to an individual. Moreover, the passive aggressive person is also known as “ill tempered depressive” will not say no to any kind of work but will do it badly or adjourn it till deadline reaches.
These people are also regarded as moody, dissatisfied and tend to victimize themselves (Furhnam, 2008). In psychology, these people are perceived to have a problem with healthy balancing between reliance and boldness; they tend to depend on people and at the same time claim to be autonomous. According to Kanto (2002), passive aggressiveness is articulated through sarcastic statement towards a person, belatedness in jobs and events which one has a negative feeling towards, among others.
Ethical dilemmas arising from passive aggressive behavior
An ethical dilemma is a situation where the principles that originate from a personal conflict with each other. In relation to passive aggressive behavior, ethical dilemmas are portrayed where the person will not say that he will not take responsibility but will either do the assignment badly or not do it at all. This is a dilemma because the individual says he will do the work but he does not or do it badly (Bernstein, 2002). Moreover, an ethical dilemma in passive aggressiveness is portrayed where a person seems to forget everything that is agreed upon. In this the passive aggressive person will blame others for his mistakes and his forgetfulness and when questioned he says that people are being unfair to him or her
Conclusion
Passive aggressive behavior affects the relation of the people working in a certain environment and even family relationships thus people who show this behavior should be treated with care and understanding. Since most people that portray passive aggressive behavior are those that have a poor parenting background, the parents should ensure that the punishment they give to their children is done with love and calmness.
This will ensure that the children do not develop the passive resistance which may turn out to be passive aggressive behavior at a later stage (Furnham, 2008). Moreover, all those parsons that portray this behavior should be directed to psychiatrist who will counsel them out of this behavior. This will ensure that these people become responsible and their behaviors do not affect their children and other people around them.
References
Furnham Adrian, (2008). Personality and Intelligence at work: Exploring and Explaining Individual Differences at work. Routledge.
Bernstein A. J, (2002). Emotional Vampires: Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry. McGraw-Hill Professional.
Kanto Martin, (2002). Passive-aggression: A Guide for the Therapist, the Patient, and the Victim. Greenwood Publishing Group.