Introduction
One of the greatest problems that harass people with low self esteem is their exaggerated self-criticism. Dr. Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning in their book Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem teach readers how to overcome the critic inside of them, so that they could understand who they really are. The authors have developed the issue of self-esteem for a long time and achieve really impressive results. In the preface to their later book devoted to this problem Dr. Matthew McKay defined it as the crucial landmark in people’s problems or success: “Success stories begin with a sense of confidence, a belief in oneself. Self-esteem is the ingredient that makes strong and lasting relationships, builds a nurturing community, and turns dreams into achievements” (McKay, M., 2005, p.VIII)
Main text
The book under discussion is a piece of non-fiction writing specializing in Psychology. Self-Esteem is a complete program that highlights several cognitive-behavioral techniques which help readers cope with their problems connected with low self-esteem. Since the first publication in 1987, the book under consideration has become very popular among therapists and readers who look for a self-care approach to increasing personal power. More than 500,000 copies of Self-Esteem have helped millions of people achieve greater success in their lives. The book is well-structured; its first chapter is focused on a discussion of the structure of self-esteem with a brief summary, highlighting how each following chapter of the book consider the definite aspect of self-esteem. The authors point out that there is an inner impulse in people to judge. And Dr. Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning believe this to be the source of poor self-esteem. When people begin judging parts of themselves as defects, low self-esteem will follow.
The value of the book is enhanced due to the illustrations of the authors’ points via definite situations, and, of course, due to useful exercises which are characterized by complexity and comprehensiveness. Self-Esteem presents deep analysis of the problem and makes readers step by step overcome the whole problem sticking to each component of it.
After the defining the nature of self-esteem the authors teach how to disarm the inner critic; and then go to another set and depict cognitive distortions; which is followed by the very important part of handling mistakes and responding to Criticism; and finally readers are taught how to use hypnosis for self-acceptance and why it is important; the book ends with the technique of building self-esteem in children. Due to the strict form and apprehensible language, simplicity of the examples and effective exercises this book is really helpful.
One of the most astonishing points of the book under consideration is the necessity to show compassion to yourself: “The essence of self-esteem is compassion for yourself… Your pathological critic cannot stand compassion… Compassion is one of the most potent weapons you have for keeping your pathological critic at bay” (McKay, Fanning, 1988, p.24).
Another thing which makes the book so popular is, as mentioned earlier, the use of effective exercises; for it is not enough to read about what one need to do to be more successful, it is substantial to use techniques and train one’s skills in order to overcome the low self-esteem. Doing the exercises introduced in this book, readers soon learn the main points leading to success and become able to use all those techniques in their lives; they stop thinking of what they should do in this or that case, they just act for the book puts the necessary acting models into their very subconsciousness.
In my opinion, Self-Esteem is really effective and helpful for people with low self-esteem. Though I can’t say I have poor self-esteem and I need help but this book made me become deep in thought about myself, my life and my goals to be achieved. I found my own inner critic and the authors showed me the way to cope with my fears and troubles. I realized that it could be even more effective to read this book, do the exercises and drill the skills in a group, group of my friends, for example, or it may be a class of close relatives.
Conclusion
Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem is the book which teach people to live in piece with our society and (it is even more important) with oneself. They use simple language and comprehensive situations, they point out the necessity of learning and drilling one’s skills: “Compassion is actually a skill-a skill you can acquire if you lack it or improve if you already have it. Second, compassion is not something you feel only for others. It should also inspire you to be kind, sympathetic, and helpful to yourself” (McKay, Fanning, 1988, p.47). Thus, this book shows that a human being can be born with low self-esteem but an individual can become confident and successful no matter when he started working on his / her self-esteem, in the childhood or older age.
References
McKay, M., Fanning, P. (1988). A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem. Oakland: New Harbinger Publications.
McKay, M., Fanning, P., Honeychurch, C., Sutker, C. (2005). The Self-Esteem Companion: Simple Exercises To Help You Challenge Your Inner Critic And Celebrate Your Personal Strength. Oakland: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.