My childhood remains a story to be told every time. As mom says, I was a pleasant, charming, and sweet black girl at the onset. I had sweet black hair and beautiful eyes when I was born. My weight was 9 pounds at birth. My family was living in West Virginia, and due to the poverty level, she could not afford a good hospital where she could give birth. She visited United Hospital Center, where I was born. Fortunately, she delivered well without any complications, a normal delivery. Only my two aunts visited Mom at the hospital when I was born since my grandmother was ailing at home. Thank God I had no complications, and my mom was discharged immediately.
My mom said I was a highly observant and curious baby. My mother claimed that I had problems falling asleep and would wake up often crying during the night, even if she put me to bed. When I was just a few weeks old, my parents came to cuddle me and brought me to the doctor for the first time to get to the bottom of why I couldn’t sleep at night. My parents were informed by the doctor that I had a “troubled” birth because of it. Despite the fact that I was not in any discomfort, I developed a persistent scream for help.
Mom, a homemaker, stated I had exceptional motor and linguistic skills as a child. I’d been on my feet for maybe ten or eleven months. Consequently, according to Chomsky’s theory, my environment as a child was favorable to my social and linguistic development since I could see and learn from my family, particularly my mother and grandmother.
The fact that I didn’t sleep well and had feeding troubles led others to classify me as a “difficult” baby, although I always felt safe. My mother felt that unconditional love was vital. As a result, if I sobbed or yelled, she would rush to my side. It took me no time to learn to self-soothe at night, even though Erikson’s theory said that children raised in this manner would never learn to do so.
As Piaget stated, children’s goal for the first two years is to investigate the newly discovered planet on which they were born. That is precisely what I did as a child. As soon as I could crawl, I became involved in everything, and anything I grabbed went straight into my mouth. Whereas my grandma claimed she didn’t have to baby-proof much for my mother, I was quite the opposite. I would play with everything that grabbed my eye, and it appeared as though I desired to dismantle anything.
In the years that followed, I began to recall what it was like to be a little child, listening to my family discuss topics such as business, religion, and the mundane aspects of daily life. I began to understand the meaning of words like “boat,” “vehicle,” “fish,” “mother,” and “aunt” and would respond adequately when I heard them. At this point, I would be entering the preoperational stage in Piaget’s stages of cognitive development. When I was in elementary school, I was able to read and write easily.
I developed close ties in elementary school and then developed a solid social personality in middle school. Initially, I was friends with the same kids I went to elementary school with, but when I entered middle school, I was surrounded by students from different elementary schools. Thus, this was the first time I was socially exposed to a much bigger community of children, allowing me to experience other people’s pastimes and hobbies.
Only English has been my primary language; it has been that way since I was born. I am a devout Black Baptist believer. I come from a middle-class family. Since I was born, I have been, and always will be, a woman who identifies as heterosexual and straight. All three members of my family have a solid faith in all of these tenets, and we have a strong belief in the power of prayer and the need to stay in touch with those we love. My single mother and my maternal grandparents reared me. I grew up in a Baptist church, where inclusion was a core virtue. When he was not preaching, my grandfather served as an SSG in the Army. To be a minister’s wife and to have a pastor’s kid, my grandma had to act, speak, and conduct differently.
Because I was born a girl, was raised as a girl, am still living as a girl, want to be called a woman, be regarded as a woman, and desire to be a great woman, I have come to recognize myself as a woman. While some of the things I enjoy doing can be classified as “masculine,” my true self-identity is one of a woman.
After entering high school, I began questioning the boundaries established by my mom, but politely, as she was quite authoritative. She was tough with her regulations, but she made them with my consideration for being sociable with my friends in mind; yet, if I disobeyed, my mother’s punishment was immediate and brutal, so let’s say I learned not to push them too far.
My entire life, I’ve been taught to believe in the trinity of God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. My family drilled the Ten Commandments into my mind and heart. My faith (Black Baptist Christian) has molded and inspired my principles, values, and sense of self-worth. For example, I now know what a woman in God’s eyes looks like, how I (a woman) need to conduct myself as a lady (Proverbs 31), and much more. I grew up in a religious family, my grandmother being a minister’s wife and my mother a PK. As a result, religion seemed to be something that I had no option in. After my mother’s health problems my uncle’s death, and religion became increasingly important to me as I grew older (about the third or fourth grade). Understanding and accepting the teachings of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, have become more and more prevalent in my life. As I grew older, my relationship with God became more mature. Besides being my creator, he is my heavenly father, doctor, advisor, and friend.
My family and I had relocated to Atlanta, Georgia, to be closer to my critically ill aunt. It wasn’t until I got my first period that I truly began to appreciate and appreciate what it meant to be a woman. Men and women began to appear different to me. Listening to my mother and grandmother explain what was going on with my body. In a sense, it’s like a “stage of life.” Transitioning from a child to a woman at an early age, having a monthly menstrual period. Every month, I suffer from stomach problems for a week. Every month, I had to change my hobbies and what I wore so that I wouldn’t have to wear the same thing every week. I strongly want to consume something I normally wouldn’t touch one week a month. It got me thinking about why boys hadn’t gone through what I was.
My high school life was less comfortable than in middle school. Being an adolescent girl, I faced many challenges since I had not learned how to stay with boys. They would tease me a lot, but my foundation as a religious lady got my back. I remained strong until I could cope with the situations and my fast-growing body. I had many friends in high school with whom we would spend time together during school time and at home. I can understand the racism at its highest level in high school since some white kids couldn’t want to be associated with blacks. It made me feel inferior, but I could sober up and study hard to ensure that I had good grades every time. Having socially grown up, I made friends from different races and backgrounds even though I was from a low-income family. Surprisingly, nobody noticed my financial status, as my mom worked hard to ensure my welfare at school was excellent. I passed and got a scholarship to college to study law. That was the best avenue to look for the plight of African Americans, especially women who were racially discriminated against and looked down upon.
During my three years in college, I learned to appreciate people from different cultures, religions, races, and economic backgrounds. At the end of my second year in college, my life changed drastically. My grandmother became ill, and since we had a strong bond, I could not concentrate in school. My grades dropped, and the administration summoned me since I was always a bright student. Even though I was counseled, I barely changed my grades and had to defer my studies to go and stay with my grandmother together with my mum. After my grandmother regained her health, I decided to go back to school, but unfortunately, my scholarship had expired. This made me frustrated as I was determined to finish my law school and at least help my financially unstable family. I decided to work part-time while studying to cater to the remaining year’s fees.
Due to my commitments, I did not ditch myself in relationships whatsoever, but I am very social with both genders. As a result of my religious and spiritual upbringing, my ideas and thoughts about gender have been shaped. I highly regard the male gender because they were the first human beings created by God, are a woman’s companion and friend, and are endowed with comfort and natural strength. When I was growing up, I was taught and reared with the belief that the gentleman was the leader of the house. He needs to act as a protector, provider, leader, and gentleman, capable of following orders and as a friend and companion, despite the fact that I did not physically learn or witness gender roles because my mother was a single parent and my grandfather died while I was still a tiny kid, my parents and grandparents taught me how to behave and act like a woman. My mother demonstrated and showed me how to be a woman who can be everything to everyone when the situation calls for it while maintaining her femininity.
I believe that I am who I am now due to both my genetics and my environment. We are, I feel, what we are made of, and our DNA is the building blocks of our distinct personalities. Furthermore, our environment influences our foundation, which helps us tweak our personalities. Although my upbringing has significantly impacted who I am now, it has not affected my inherited traits; instead, when the two are combined, they create a complete version of my makeup.
I am now 33 years old with a law firm in West Virginia, and proud to have raised my mother’s status and that of my entire family. I am considering getting married soon now that my dream has been fulfilled. The many challenges throughout my life have taught me to be strong and resilient in everything I do. My mom’s character and personality have taught me to be an ironwoman, which I intend to pass on to my children. Like my family, my dream is to raise my family based on religious beliefs and a strong culture of helplessness and openness. Black women are affecting change in the world. They can take a page out of history and be leaders in their community. They can make their dreams their goals and make sure they get there. In the digital era, they have more resources at their fingertips than ever before, including social media that allows them to connect with people all over the world.