It took Po Bronson a lot of courage to address the question, ‘What should I do with my life?’ by asking more than 900 people the same question. Unfortunately, not one person mentions in his or her story that one can avoid doubt or challenges in making certain choices whose ultimate goal is happiness. Bronson’s book highlights stories of ordinary people who have had to make tough choices in life, and some have succeeded while others have not.
In this essay, I seek to explore my life experiences, which reflect Ana Miyares’ (The Umbrella of Freedom) and Ali’s (An Ordinary Guy) stories. In the long run, it will become apparent that happiness comes at a price.
At the beginning of the book, one encounters Ali’s story (An Ordinary Guy) in which he is said to have received a letter from Dalai Lama at his school. The letter stated that Ali was not an ordinary guy, but a reincarnation of a warrior from six lifetimes ago. As a result, he was expected to attend a Monastery in Bombay. In the process, Ali spent 12 years studying ancient texts, and people worshiped him while others had more faith in him than he had in himself.
In 1998, Dalai Lama chose him to lead a tour of monks across the United States, a mission that changed him completely. However, despite changing in many aspects, Ali wanted to go back to America where according to him, “not everyone treats him like a divine being” (Bronson 7). When he went back to America, Ali started the Bodhiheart Foundation with a woman who made him regret being part of it for many reasons. As a result, Ali left the foundation because his partner was controlling his schedule, and thus, leaving the foundation was the best thing he felt he could manage to do. When Bronson asked Ali if he did not like it when people control him, he emphatically says, “That is right”, which suggests that the main reason he left the foundation is because of the external pressure from his partner (Bronson 7-9).
Ali’s story reminds me of my childhood life, which was dramatic and eventful. To begin with, my parents separated when I was ten years after which my father married another woman who became my stepmother. My experience with my second mother was not one of the best because I enjoyed being with my biological mother more than my stepmother. Because of the unpleasant experience I had with my stepmother, I made up my mind to move in with my grandparents when I turned 16.
The assumption here was that by moving in with my grandparents, I would avoid being controlled and feel more independent and free just like Ali did. However, I had to contend with the feeling of leaving my seemingly understanding father, brother, and sister behind to achieve my goals. On the other hand, there is a moment in Ali’s story, which reminds me exactly of what I was feeling every day before I decided to move out of my stepmother’s house.
That is, I could not stand the way she was controlling every aspect of my life including the fact that she could monitor my private activities by hiding recorders in my room just to listen to what I had to say about her. And just as Ali told Bronson that he felt more grounded when there was no one dictating his every move, I also thought that the move I had made allowed me to improve myself by learning from my mistakes.
In the same way, Ana Miyares’ story (The Umbrella of Freedom) reflects my life experiences in many ways. Hers is a story about how she left the life of a banker who made a lot of money to do what made her happy. According to Ana, “if you do not need money, it cannot control you”, and for sure money did not matter much to her since she shifted from a high paying job to another one where she was given about $17,000 after taxation (Bronson 78-82).
The most important thing is that she was not interested in the financial aspects of her job, but instead, she chose to pursue happiness despite encountering many challenges. For instance, her family was made up of successful bankers from Cuba, and thus they wanted her to follow in their footsteps, but instead, she took a different direction and made her way. This resulted in her family shunning her since she mentions to Bronson, “I am lonely but I am happy” (Bronson 82). She lost the support and love of her family but found happiness in the end.
Ana’s feeling of loneliness after falling out with her family applies to my story as well. After choosing to move in with my grandparents, I had to sacrifice being able to see my immediate family every day to realize my happiness. Sometimes, it felt like there was a barrier, which made it very difficult for me, my father, and my siblings to get used to staying away from each other. However, just as Ana posits, “Happiness comes at the expense of the ones we love”, and sometimes people need to make decisions that will produce better results in the long run despite the inherent challenges (Bronson 84).
In my case, I must admit that moving out of my stepmother’s house was the best result that I could get because life at my grandparents’ place changed many aspects of my life. For example, I could act independently in addition to having the most loving and supportive family (grandparents). Moreover, my grandparents knew how to respect my private life while ensuring that I did not evade my responsibilities as a student, son, and brother to my family.
Overall, both Ana’s and Ali’s stories inspired me a lot because I understand how it feels like being lonely after making a tough decision, which entails sacrificing the people you love for the sake of your happiness. Conversely, I know what it feels like to be controlled by an external force. However, the decision I had made influenced different aspects of my life more than I ever thought it would, however, in a positive way.
It is amazing to see how stressful moments can change people’s lives, and by overcoming stress, I was able to mature and grow as an independent person. The most important thing is that the entire experience including having to put up with my stepmother for many years and then being able to move out and be my decision-maker played a major role in shaping the person I am today. In the long run, I have learned not to let some less important issues bother me.
Additionally, I have experienced the significance of remaining calm when under stress or pressure from other people. It is imperative to note that many people fail to realize that one can learn from a seemingly negative experience just as much as one can learn from a positive one. The bottom line is that you just need to figure out what you want to take away from that experience and what you want to leave behind.
Work Cited
Bronson, Po. What should I do with my life?: the true story of people who answered the ultimate question. New York: Random House Publishing Group, 2005. Print.