I believe that choosing the most appropriate approach is crucial for an effective negotiator. Therefore, I think a “good” negotiator is the one who can choose the right approach for a particular setting. All negotiation styles can be effective under certain circumstances and a good negotiator should be able to understand the peculiarities of the situation to choose the right negotiating style.
Sometimes, negotiators who choose the right style do not notice that the situation (the other side’s needs, desires, approaches, and so on) has changed, and he/she still sticks to the chosen paradigm. It is a big mistake that often leads to failed negotiations. Apart from this, a good negotiator has to be firm, confident, and calm. Emotions can prevent negotiators from reaching a solution that will be beneficial for all the parties involved. A good negotiator tries to reach a win-win solution as this will translate into proper management of conflict and development of positive relationships with partners.
As for my approach to negotiating with people, I tend to use compromising. In some situations, I may use accommodating and avoiding, as well. In the majority of cases, I try to achieve some compromise, as I want the other party to be satisfied with the results of the negotiation. More so, I am ready to make concessions even if it makes me somewhat dissatisfied with the result of the negotiations. When there is a possibility of a conflict, I often try to avoid it. I can try to avoid people who may start an unpleasant conversation with me. In many cases, I may avoid people not to start an unpleasant conversation even though it is necessary. I often do not like to make people frustrated and, hence, I tend to cooperate to a high-degree even if this can frustrate me.
I have to admit that my negotiation style is not very effective as it is associated with frustration and dissatisfaction of both (or one) side. As for my dominating approach (compromising), it has various disadvantages as it makes the negotiators make too many concessions, which often results in a lose-lose situation and further development of the conflict. Perhaps, I fail to find the ways that can make both sides satisfied and this is why the approach I use does not work effectively.
As for avoiding and accommodating, these styles can have detrimental effects for me as my needs and desires are neglected. This makes me frustrated, and it also worsens my relationships with other people. Of course, this can prevent me from having effective negotiations with these individuals in the future. I may even start avoiding them. However, accommodating often brings positive outcomes. For instance, I manage to develop positive relationships with many people since I am not assertive, and they achieve their goals. Of course, this can be effective if the outcomes of the negotiations are acceptable for me. Otherwise, the approach leads to my frustration.
I think accommodating and avoiding are the approaches I will use less in the future. I already try to avoid them. There are quite a few scenarios where avoidance is acceptable. I use it with very assertive people who tend to focus on their outcomes. I accommodate when it is possible in this or that situation. However, I also understood that more deliberate preparation and analysis of the situation could help me reach a win-win situation. Thus, I am trying to use a collaborative approach, as well.
I have acquired a certain experience. We were working on a project as a team. We chose a topic, but we had different views on some aspects of the project (the way it should be presented). One of the team members (John) tried to use the competing negotiation style but there was enough time and I initiated a debate on the matter. I was sure that the presentation he suggested had too many flaws, which would mean poor results for the entire group. I convinced other members of the team that we needed to discuss the issue. John had to agree to discuss it as well. We discussed the shortcomings and benefits of John’s way, and I provided my ideas on the matter.
We all agreed (including John) that some of his ideas could be used, but my approach was more efficient. I will try to use this style in the future. Of course, it requires more time, a lot of consideration and effort, but it is very effective. I also admit that it is easier to use this approach when a group of people (rather than an individual) is involved, and I will use it when several stakeholders participate in the negotiation. However, I will also try to use it with an individual.
Irrespective of the numerous efficient negotiations I have had recently, my major weakness is my desire to avoid any conflict. I think this is a result of my being unconfident. My desire to avoid conflicts or to agree with everyone has especially negative effects at the initial stages of negotiation. I have noticed that other stakeholders pay less attention to my remarks after my being submissive (or simply silent) at the beginning of negotiations. It is my biggest weakness as this often leads to ineffective negotiations. It is a feature of my character and, therefore, it will require a lot of effort to change my approach.
I have developed a good plan to improve my negotiation style. First, during all negotiations, I will mind (or make notes) with a specific focus on things that I regard as beneficial or, at least, acceptable and things that should be reconsidered or eliminated. This initial stage is important, as it will enable me to understand my position, my needs as well as things I can sacrifice. I will have the rule to reveal my viewpoint clearly at once (if possible). For instance, in the conflict situation I had with my friend concerning inviting friends to our room, it would be inappropriate to tell my friend about partying in our room in the middle of their party.
However, I had to talk to my friend the following morning. We could have settled the conflict much earlier. I will have it in mind that the longer I wait, the more difficult it will be to find the most efficient solution. I will also try to become more confident. I believe the analysis of various scenarios can be beneficial for me. Thus, I will start a diary where I will analyze conflict situations I will have as well as situations I had in the past. Finally, I will also try to develop some solutions that could result in a win-win situation. I believe this will enable me to react effectively in different situations that are similar in some ways.