Introduction
In Hell-Heaven, Jhumpa Lahiri tries to illustrate the influence of unfulfilled love on a person by showing how crucial it is for people to form relationships based on shared emotions. The author demonstrates via the character of Aparna how a woman who finds herself in an arranged marriage suffers a persistent sense of discontent and longing for intense mutual affection, which also results in the fact that she cannot wholly enjoy her life. Since the first scenario severely impacts both the couples and their children, it can be argued that Lahiri opposes arranged marriages and supports the right to divorce. Lahiri uses Aparna’s character to illustrate why arranged marriages are emotionally unsatisfying by illustrating how a woman in an arranged marriage feels dissatisfied all the time and yearns for solid sentiments with her spouse.
Analysis of Marriage in the Novel
Marriage in India
To understand the story’s main problem, it is essential to consider the status of the family institution in the analyzed cultural environment. In India, a country with strict religious dogmas and cultural and social traditions, even today, many parents choose a couple for their child, calculating all the benefits of a future union. This is precisely what Aparna’s marriage became; her parents chose in favor of her husband.
The girl recalls “the thought of marriage irrelevant to my life,” which means her young and unconscious age (Lahiri 73). Self-selection of a life partner is the key to stronger relationships based on respect for each other (Flicker 630). Thus, in assessing the cultural environment in the story, existing traditions and social norms do not contribute to moral satisfaction from marriages, and disagreements between partners grow.
Love in Marriage
Love for a partner involves condescension to some of their shortcomings. However, Aparna is not in love with her husband, and many of his flaws annoy her. In turn, Aparna’s husband has no desire to surprise and delight his spouse with surprises and romantic gifts (Roy 7). She cites an example of her mother and states that “her only job, every day, was to clean and cook for my father and me” (Lahiri 73).
Love is a strong feeling filled with tenderness, the heartfelt affection of a man and a woman, which Aparna and her husband lack. Love forms joy and happiness by linking the views of two people on many aspects of life (Flicker 637). Therefore, in Aparna’s case, the woman experiences only grief and constantly notices her husband’s shortcomings, but in addition, she is solely concerned with the financial gain of her marriage.
Respect in Marriage
Showing respect for a partner based on trust and sincere love does not imply any financial obligations to each other. A profitable marriage is nothing but a deal, as in the case of Aparna, and her life with her husband is filled with exclusively everyday nuances without any manifestations of mutual sympathy and respect. Patience, accepting each other’s characters, and sharing inner experiences are significant conditions for maintaining a strong family (Flicker 634).
Nevertheless, Aparna and her husband find it difficult to do this because they are not united by warm feelings and annoy each other. A person, especially a woman, needs tenderness, support, and understanding from loved ones, and when getting married, Aparna first sought support from her spouse. However, she did not receive support from her husband and those close to her, including her mother, and “began keeping other secrets from her” (Lahiri 73). As a result, the inability to express feelings sincerely without any monetary interests and selfish goals can be considered the cause of a failed marriage worsened by infidelity.
Lack of Empathy in Marriage
As the example of the arranged marriage under consideration shows, this form of the marital relationship can sooner or later cause a complete lack of understanding between husband and wife and even lead to infidelity. The lack of feelings causes indifference, and the example of the mother who “never called my father by his first name” is proof of this (Lahiri 64). Arranged marriages risk developing antipathy toward each other over time, and antagonism can rise constantly (Parkin 272). The mother feels guilty toward Aparna, but she cannot find love in herself for the child she gave birth to from an unloved man. Thus, the lack of understanding is a common feature of arranged marriages in which love gives way to everyday issues and is associated with the avoidance of emotional and sometimes physical contact with each other.
Infidelity in Marriage
Infidelity, however, can only be considered a family problem when both spouses are concerned about the well-being of each other and are not ready to bring mental suffering to the partner. The betrayal in Aparna’s marriage did not become a tragedy. There is no love in her union with her husband, and there are no special feelings due to someone’s infidelity (Roy 12).
Nonetheless, other sad consequences are possible from adultery, such as unwanted pregnancy (Parkin 282). The risk of infidelity in an arranged marriage is especially high. Finally, Aparna recalls her mother’s loyal position, who “accepted that I was not only her daughter but a child of America as well” (78). However, it took much conflict and sadness to come to this conclusion. The infidelity of Aparna’s spouse can hardly be considered an incident that will not happen again. The reason for this lies in the lack of worries about the partner and the well-being of the family, as well as female inferiority.
Women’s Status in Marriage
Women in arranged marriages can often suffer from feelings of inferiority, which is actively discussed in the story in question. While recalling her mother’s relationship with Pranab, the girl does not allow the thought of her significance in the family. As she states, “I don’t think even my birth made her as happy,” implying a more important role for the young man to her mother than to herself (Lahiri 66).
Aparna’s spouse traditionally believed she should devote all her time to him and the household. The woman felt she did not have enough air; however, the collectivist culture inherent in the family from birth did not allow for speaking against such a marriage (Allendorf and Pandian 436). She only seemed cold and indifferent, but there was much warmth and love in her. However, Aparna does not realize that she is a loving wife and does not have the time and opportunity to reveal her tenderness and femininity. As a result, the inferiority felt by the girl can be considered a contributing factor to an arranged marriage, which is deteriorated by the need to pretend constantly.
Pretending in Marriage
The disadvantage of an arranged marriage is the need to play roles and pretend. This applies primarily to relatives and friends who do not want to be privy to the details of family life (Roy 7). For instance, the narrator cites Pranab’s fascinating story of meeting her family at a Thanksgiving feast and notes that “people who did not know us laughed” (Lahiri 75). Such an open form of communication is not typical of Aparna’s family, and she emphasizes this, noting that in the eyes of others, their life does not seem wrong. Nevertheless, given her moral difficulties in marriage, she does not admit that her relationship with her husband can be considered normal. Thus, pretending in public and creating the image of a full-fledged family, she feels like a liar, and the woman is forced to demonstrate her gratitude, albeit with pretense.
Self-Interest in Marriage
When there are no emotions in a relationship, a man often tries to compensate for this with material benefits. However, in response, Aparna most often feels grateful but still uncomfortable (Lahiri 74). No matter how well she is acting, her husband also feels the lack of love in return; perhaps this prompted him to commit treason (Roy 8).
It is important to note that the point here is not the negative features of Aparna. Human relationships are most often built for the sake of emotions, and subconsciously, a woman who feels insecure in an arranged marriage is forced to compromise with herself to maintain a normal moral image. At the same time, at some points, her dissatisfaction is shown openly. In her youth, she recalls, “I was not allowed to date,” Eastern culture embedded in family values is a precondition for such a motherly attitude (Lahiri 73). The preservation of the family, including adequate maternal behavior, is an attempt to compensate for a failed marriage, which, however, is not an effective method of avoiding inner sadness.
Reason Behind Marriage
Procreation is not the main reason for creating a family today. People create couples to close the voids in their worldview and to get emotions they do not have. The relationship will not be healthy when there are many voids after marriage. The need also unites people for socially approved sex because permanent partners are more trustworthy both emotionally and physiologically (Parkin 282). However, in the case of Aparna and her spouse, they were not chosen by each other. Therefore, there is no emotional or physical attraction to each other within the couple.
The narrator notes the distinctive characters of her father and mother, talking about the differences between a man and a woman. She notes, “My father was a lover of silence and solitude,” while her mother was much more impulsive (Lahiri 64). Such a comparison largely coincides with the concept of an arranged marriage because spouses who do not have emotional points of contact are forced to coexist with each other but not live happily. Thus, Aparna is deprived of an opportunity to love and sees only the goal of procreation.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the story of Aparna is an example of how an arranged marriage can be a catalyst for the unhappiness and ruined life of two people who are not emotionally or physically connected. Female inferiority, partner infidelity, and other unpleasant aspects may emerge, thereby confirming the unhealthy nature of such a union. In Aparna’s collectivist culture, divorces are not accepted, and she cannot fully realize the warm feeling inside her. Procreation should not be the primary reason for marriage. In Lahimi’s story, individual characters are juxtaposed to show how different the relationship between a man and a woman can be.
Works Cited
Allendorf, Keera, and Roshan K. Pandian. “The Decline of Arranged Marriage? Marital Change and Continuity in India.” Population and Development Review, vol. 42, no.3, 2016, pp. 435-464.
Flicker, Sharon M., et al. “Marital Quality in Arranged and Couple‐initiated Marriages: The Role of Perceived Influence over Partner Selection.” International Journal of Psychology, vol. 55, no. 4, 2020, pp. 629-637.
Lahiri, Jhumpa. “Hell-Heaven.” Unaccustomed Earth, Knopf, 2008, pp, 60-80.
Parkin, Robert. “Arranged Marriages: Whose Choice and Why? Reflections on the Principles Underlying Spouse Selection Worldwide.” History and Anthropology, vol. 32, no. 2, 2021, pp. 271-287.
Roy, Dibyadyuti. “Illicit Motherhood: Recrafting Postcolonial Feminist Resistance in Edna O’Brien’s The Love Object and Jhumpa Lahiri’s Hell-Heaven.” Humanities (Basel), vol. 8, no. 29, 2019, pp. 1-16.