Marriage has existed as long as the history of humankind can be traced. It is therefore, an important element in the society. Different people uphold the practice of marriage in all cultures of the world. In fact, marriage is an essential element in most cultures that it is considered a significant institution in the society.
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Different people are married for several reasons, some for economical reasons, some for children, and some are married for companionship. Majority of the people believe that marriage and love go hand-in-hand, but the truth of the matter is that marriage and love are completely incompatible.
To understand this issue clearly, it is important to have a discussion that will help distinguish the institution of marriage from love. Marriage is an oath of sexual exclusivity created to facilitate greater intimacy and mutual trust between companions.
However, marriage as an institution creates some form of social and economic inequality. The common belief that marriage and love are equal, or that marriage is the union where love is cultivated and flourished is erroneous and far from the truth (CBC News 1).
Marriage is a civil institution motivated by economic gain that harbors an environment where love, if anything, is systemically annihilated. Marriage is also an institution that is arranged for economical reasons/ benefits. In fact, it is a form of insurance cover.
The only difference between marriage and the actual insurance cover is that marriage is more binding (Goldman 1). It is incompatible for love to flourish under such a destructive environment with nearly half of all marriages ending in separation.
Only the most imprudent individuals deny that marriage is nothing but a failed institution. It is hostile to even the most liberal definition of love.
Social and economic inequality is not a new phenomenon, but has been part of marriage since its genesis (Adshade and Kaiser 2). Marriage became very popular when agriculture emerged as a form of economic power.
During this time women could be sold and traded along with land and material goods (CBC News 1). Marriage remained absent of any notion of love altogether and consisted largely of a polygamous nature where women had little or no say on the subject / husband.
During the time when Christianity was rapidly spreading in Europe, marriage emerged as a sacrament. However, it came with more societal and economic restrictions. Social divisions restricted a woman from a lower socio-economic background to marry an individual from a noble family even when the two were in love.
During this time, divorce was a luxury that neither of the classes enjoyed (the rich and the poor). So how does “love” in marriage weigh in today’s society with somewhat equal economic and social opportunity amongst the sexes to pursue a better life and complete freedom from separation of church and state?
Forty-one percent (41%) of all marriages in Canada end in divorce largely due to incapability of different values/interests. In addition, infidelity, financial insecurity, career related conflicts, mistrust and emotional and physical abuse are also some of the reasons why people divorce.
Some people only stay married because they want to maintain family ties. During the early days (and even in today’s society), marriages were arranged as a way of uniting two families. The marriage acted as a bond, which would keep the two families together.
Today, some marriages are also arranged with the primary intention of bringing two families together (Milton 23). Such kind of a marriage is not built on love at all because the woman and man only bond to ensure that their families stay united.
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In addition, a number of couples only remain in a marriage because of the children. Some of them do not even see each other face-to-face, yet they are married. The couple’s only reason to stay together is to maintain the marriage because of integrity and to bring up their children in a complete family. Such kind of a marriage is not built on love.
Marriage has emerged as a failed institution, which is hostile and incompatible with Love (Milton 46). How can love possibly flourish in such an environment, which harvests lack of intimacy, mistrust, vulgar possession and complete destruction and annihilation of anything that is creative?
Why should a free independent woman imprison and condemn herself under this ancient ritual when she has the economic freedom and she is no longer dependent on a man as a provider (Adshade and Kaiser 1).
Why should a woman fight against her natural desires or inclination and appetite to settle for such abuse? Marriage is not the ultimate triumph of one’s love; it is the cause of many problems.
Marriage and love do not have anything in common; they are distance apart, just like two separate poles. In fact, they are antagonistic to each other. However, it is also true that some marriages are founded on love (marriages based on love do exist).
Nevertheless, even if some marriages originate from love, it is only because a majority of people out can form a true union. It is true that a majority of individuals who are married find the institution of marriage to be nothing but a farce, and only remain in it for the sake of public opinion (Goldman 1).
It is only an assumption that people get married because they love each other. It is very rare to find two people who are married because of true companionship. Some people also say that a couple usually falls in love after marriage.
In reality, a woman and a man only get used to each other and eventually develop a bond as an adjustment to the inevitable (the marriage). Marriage only appears as love because a couple grows and get used to one another (dependency).
In conclusion, love is freedom, the strongest element in life, and it provides hope; it cannot be synonymous with some form of arrangement in the name of marriage (Goldman 1). It is only our wish that one day a couple will rise and reach the mountain peak, where they will find true love (Goldman 1). This is the only time marriage will be build from a strong foundation of love.
CBC News. 4 in 10 1st marriages end in divorce. 2010. Web.
Goldman, Emma. Marriage and Love. 2011. Web.
Milton, John. The Doctrine and Discipline of Divorce. London: BiblioLife, 2009. Print.