Introduction
Marriage is one of the earliest institutions that are prevalent in diverse cultures. It unites two or more people (mostly male and female) who share emotions, goals, and ambitions. Throughout history, marriage has evolved from arranged marriages where parents and other family members determine the person that an individual would marry in future. Scholars have started investigating the efficacy of arranged marriages against the self-choice marriages due to rising cases of divorces and single parenthood. Arranged marriage is debatable and triggers ethical dilemmas. Despite the arguments against arranged marriages, this paper argues that arranged marriages are ethical.
Arguments for Arranged Marriages
One of the misunderstandings that people have towards arranged marriages is that most people think that this type of marriage is forceful. Qureshi (2021) explained that arranged marriages entail mutual consent, where parents are involved. It is more about introduction, where parents of the young person introduce him to the girl. The arrangement involved means that the partners have enough time to court before marrying (Zohre, 2021). Proponents of arranged marriages believe that it diminishes risks of incompatibility and cases of divorce, considering that couples share common beliefs, upbringing, religion, and similar social status. Couples can count on the extended family support in time of need as discussed in Raina and Maity (2018). The extended support intervenes to solve differences before reaching the level of divorce.
Arguments against Arranged Marriages
Despite the advantages of arranged marriages, opponents of this type of marriage have considered it to be unethical by raising arguments that undermine its effectiveness. Arranged marriages do not allow the individual to date or court other people that could resonate with the person’s tastes and preferences. Qurashi (2021) explained that Indian girls are taught to believe that love comes after marriage. If one finds dissatisfaction within marriage, it is easy for the person to blame parents and people who planned the marriage. Additionally, the couple may be forced to endure any kind of suffering in marriage for fear of embarrassing the parents that initiated the marriage. The involvement of extended family members in resolving marital conflicts can also cause emotional distress for couples who have a higher preference for privacy.
Personal Stance on the Debate
I believe that arranged marriages are ethical, based on the philosophical theory of ethics and the theory of ethical relativism. Philosophical theory of ethics deals with what is considered morally right and acceptable to the culture. I do not believe that the mere fact that western cultures do not approve arranged marriages makes it unethical. Different cultures have different beliefs and practices that do not have to conform to the rules and principles of other cultures. For instance, western cultures are comfortable with cases of divorce; Asian societies are collective and are not comfortable to see children growing up in absence of parental love. Furthermore, the advantage of arranged marriages is that it is not more about emotions that could fade with time. Instead, the relationship is built on trust that the families have towards one another.
The theory of ethical relativism holds the similar perspective towards arranged marriages. Bockover (2018) defined relativism as a theory that bases morality on norms and beliefs of a given culture. In this case, the culture in question is the collectivist culture in the east. Critics of arranged marriages come from western cultures, and think that arranged marriages are forced. On the contrary, young people who agree to engage in arranged type of marriages understand its importance on enhancing family relationships. A qualitative study from Zohre et al. (2021) on perspectives of couples in arranged marriages found that participants were satisfied with the manner in which they resolved family conflicts. Couples are introduced to the goal of the relationship before dating, making the marriage strong to withstand challenges that could trigger divorce in future.
Conclusion and Discussion
This paper has analyzed the pros and cons of arranged marriages. Arranged marriages are not forced. Partners are only allowed to consent to what the parents and extended families members consider to be morally right. Even though western cultures are opposed to arranged marriages on the basis of freedom to date and choose a partner, the involvement of family and extended members in arranged marriages reduces chances of dissatisfaction and divorce. Evidently, If I were to choose between arranged and self-choice type of marriage, I could opt for security, in this case, from an arranged marriage because my parents are more experienced on matters of dating and relationships.
Ethical Discussion Questions
- Salima lives in the US and has been dating James for the past three months. Today she was called home to home, only to be introduced to Hassan for an arranged marriage. What do you think Salima should do from an ethical point of view?
- Mohammed was introduced to Amina after completing college. He recently learned that Amina’s parents are HIV positive, and so is Amina. Mohammed is your friend and wants your opinion on the issue. Advise him accordingly.
- Should one consent to arranged marriage even when one knows that there is a genetic disease in the other family?
References
Bockover, M. I. (2018). Ethics, relativism, and the self. In Culture and Self (pp. 43-61). Routledge.
Darwall, S. (2018). Philosophical ethics: An historical and contemporary introduction. Routledge.
Qureshi, H. (2021). Destined for an arranged marriage, I chose to follow my heart. The Guardian. Web.
Raina, P., & Maity, T. (2018). An empirical study on marital satisfaction between arranged and self-marriage couples in Bangalore. International Journal of Indian Psychology 6(1), 101-8. Web.
Zohre, K. A. Y. A., Kocabiyik, O. O., & Bacioglu, S. D. (2021). Marriage, and marital problems and solutions from the perspective of couples in arranged marriage. OPUS International Journal of Society Researches, 18(42), 5187-5207. Web.