Introduction
Being a full-fledged member of society implies a certain degree of responsibility for one’s thoughts and actions, especially when they directly affect other people’s lives. The failure to accept it might lead to making completely selfish choices while disregarding the considerations of fellowship or unity. This phenomenon is thoroughly examined by David Foster Wallace (2005), who claims that the above need correlates with the necessity to be “well-adjusted” (p. 4). The intention to undergo this process and fit into society requires a high degree of self-control in most situations when negative emotions prevail to increase awareness. Therefore, the so-called default setting of people’s perspectives and the evaluation of events through the lens of self is the area, which should be modified for the above objective alongside the concept of worshiping.
My Default Setting and Possible Improvements
To start the reflection on my default setting and the improvements, which can be made in this regard, it is vital to explain the meaning of this term in the first place. Thus, according to the scholar, it is a propensity of individuals for neglecting the underlying causes of societal events and misinterpretation of others’ actions due to the comparison with one’s personal experience (Wallace, 2005). In other words, contrasting a person’s beliefs with the perceptions of other people is performed selfishly since the former tend to consider themselves in the center of any occasion. This stance means the lack of responsibility for choices in life since the convictions guiding them in a particular direction is a matter of coincidence rather than a well-informed decision.
From this perspective, my default setting will not be much different from that of the author. First, I tend to be quite impatient when I face a need to wait for someone, whether it is a waiter in a restaurant or my friend who is five minutes late. Being a responsible person myself, I frequently refuse to consider others’ standpoints and, consequently, judge them without listening to the reasons why they behaved in a particular way. As a result, when I reflect on these cases afterward, I see that it would have been better to be more empathetic since people’s life circumstances are no less significant than mine. Second, I sometimes think that others are slower than me and bother me in this way. For example, when standing in line in supermarkets, I might consider other buyers annoying if they leave to get some items, which they have forgotten. Hence, these two reactions correspond to the notion of default setting as per Wallace’s speech.
The described issues present a challenge for me when connecting with people and building healthy relationships. Therefore, they should be adequately addressed to improve the efficiency of communication at different levels, whether it is at home or in the workplace. Both problems can be eliminated by developing emotional intelligence, which implies better social skills, and empathetic approach towards situations involving others, and greater self-awareness. Its application to similar cases will allow me to understand individual motives and exclude the possibility of a direct insult, which is the way I perceive conflicts of this nature. As a result, the interaction with both friends and strangers in public places will be more positive since the literal message in conversations, as well as its psychological interpretation, will be aligned with actual intents.
Worshiping as per Wallace
Another concept applicable to misinterpretations due to the excessive focus on oneself is worshiping, which has a meaning different from its religious connotations. Thus, according to the speech, Wallace (2005) views this process as emphasizing particular aspects of human life, which can, in turn, “eat you alive” once people become dependent on them (p. 9). For instance, if one worships money and status, they risk being involved in the continuous race for acquiring more attributes related to these components, thereby enhancing the feelings of not having enough (Wallace, 2005). Similarly, the extreme desire to be beautiful creates the notion of one’s ugliness, and the motivation to obtain as much power as possible leads to the perception of weakness and, consequently, desperation (Wallace, 2005). This approach of the speaker to the concept implies the need to reassess preferences in life and become conscious of what consumes a person’s energy and prevents them from achieving the ultimate wellbeing. In this respect, no one is exempt from the influence of improper values, and my views on the subject also confirm the above stance.
In my life, there are two aspects, which I view as priorities and strive to improve in any possible way. First, I tend to pay excessive attention to my academic achievements. Even though the emphasis on this area is not a negative phenomenon, it still has its drawbacks when it comes to my self-esteem. When professors and I recognize my success in performing certain tasks, the feeling of joy following these events is temporary. It is enough to see anyone who is more successful in any aspect of the studying process, it disappears and is replaced by discontent from being insufficiently smart or not making enough efforts. Second, I can say that I worship personal freedom, and this fact explains my unwillingness to conform in situations when it is necessary. Moreover, this motivation is applied to all spheres of societal life, including politics. Subsequently, I might feel more limited in opportunities since my mind is tuned to searching for the ways my existence can be controlled from the outside, and my relationships are subject to a similar analysis. Nevertheless, these two notions do not have particular value until I create them.
The Importance of Choice in Adult Life
The above considerations, default setting and worshiping, are explicitly connected to the importance of choice, which is to be made in adult life. It is primarily related to the direction of one’s thoughts in any given situation. For example, in the default setting, a person can break a negative pattern by introducing new habits when encountering the same stimuli. This initiative takes time but, in the end, determines their capability to existing in this world successfully. As for worship, the selection of the way of thinking is connected to the suggested reassessment of values. This need can also be addressed similarly, and the preference for less harmful areas of worshiping, preferably not implying the comparison with others, seems optimal. Indeed, the mind should not be “a terrible master” instead of “an excellent servant” since it is more productive when the direction of thought is established (Wallace, 2005, p. 10). Otherwise, it will only make improper choices from the ethical perspective and adversely affect the efficiency of one’s communication with peers.
Another manifestation of this aspect of life is the requirement to exercise one’s freedom, which is granted to everyone without exception. However, this practice is impossible without respecting the rights of others (Wallace, 2005). From this point of view, the adequacy of perceptions of people and situations is connected to choices in the way individuals communicate. It means that is free to select the proper conduct, in any case, correlates with the necessity to accept responsibility for the outcomes of interactions. This fact explains the link between freedom and choice since well-informed decisions can be considered as such only if they are made with consideration of all underlying circumstances. This provision can be met only if one has a well-developed moral compass, which does not waver under the influence of unexpected emotional reactions to obstacles in achieving goals. Therefore, it can be stated that the ability to analyze situations in the decision-making process significantly depends on one’s capability of taking into account conflicting views.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the notions of the default setting and worshiping are discussed by Wallace in his speech, and they imply the need for evaluating societal events from various perspectives. The failure to do so might result in inefficient communication, and, in my case, it is explained by the lack of patience and anger towards slow people. These selfish perceptions can be eliminated through the development of emotional intelligence. In turn, the areas of worshiping for me include academic achievements and personal freedom, which collectively lead to low self-esteem when comparing myself to others. These factors also correspond to the need to make choices in adult life, which should be well-informed and based on multiple views rather than one’s stance. Compliance with these requirements correlates with personal adjustment to societal needs, which should be promoted for everyone’s well-being.
Reference
Wallace, D. F. (2005). Capital T Truth [Word Document].