Technologies such as online dating and social media have provided people with unlimited access to a large dating pool filled with a multitude of potential partners. An earlier conference paper reported that over 30 million people were using online dating sites (Tong, Hancock, & Slatcher, 2016). These trends demonstrate the potentially enormous influence technological advances such as online dating and social media sites can have over the formation and experience of intimate relational bonds. This paper draws on previous research and existing literature to demonstrate the changing conceptions of romance in the context of rapidly technological advancement. The central argument of this discussion is that advances in technology such as online dating sites, social media, emails, and instant messaging have enabled people to develop, manage, and enhance romantic relationships.
Developing Relationships
Technology has made it easier and more convenient to develop intimate relationships. Most important, the various advances facilitate meeting of potential partners. In an investigation of 410 undergraduate students from a large southwestern metropolitan university campus revealed that sexting contributes to intimate relationships (Hertlein & Ancheta, 2014). A majority of the participants stated that technology has helps them to meet new people. One of the fascinating findings observation is that technology allows “those with similar beliefs, hobbies, and habits to find each other more easily” (Hertlein & Ancheta, 2014, p. 4). These findings are confirmed by the research on how CouchSurfing impacts relationships which established that the technology increases the ease with which people establish relational bonds around shared cultural interests (Parigi & State, 2014). A recent qualitative study of 70 African American and Puerto Rican adolescents and young adults in Hartford and Philadelphia established similar findings (Bergdall et al., 2012). The investigators found that the voice and data calls and text messages were the most widely used means for pursuing relationship goals, including forming, maintaining, and dissolving friendships (Bergdall et al., 2012). Overall, these findings indicate that technology has become a prominent part of establishing romantic relationships.
Online dating sites provide a good example of the new patterns of establishing romantic relationships. Consistent with Parigi and State (2014) and Hertlein & Ancheta (2014), Tong et al. (2016) explain that online dating has radically changed the way people form romantic bonds. Tong et al. (2016) report that online dating sites have evolved dramatically to become the second most widely used platform for meeting a romantic partner. With over 30 million users, these dating sites provide people with unlimited access to a large dating pool filled with a multitude of potential partners. People use these rich contexts to not only find potential partners but also evaluate them to select or find mates who match their interests and preferences. This point resonates with the observation of one participant who said that such technology “makes it easy to meet people online and talk to friends which can eventually lead to flirting” (Hertlein & Ancheta, 2014, p. 5). Consequently, technological advances have significantly enhanced how people establish and nurture communities centered on unique attributes.
Furthermore, technology helps in developing emotional support which plays an important role in maintaining and strengthening existing intimate relationships. In addition meeting, screening, and finding new partners, Bergdall et al. (2012) established that cell phones help in maintaining existing affairs and even break ups. These findings are echoed in the results of the study conducted by Hertlein and Ancheta (2016), which indicated that technology facilitates partly the development of emotional support in intimate relationships. This application was evidenced by one the participants’ comment that “you are able to send adoring messages to one another and have contact throughout the day to discuss important topics. This can be very handy in the beginning phases of a relationship when you are getting to know each other” (Hertlein & Ancheta, 2014, p. 5). One potential mechanism through emotional bonds between users are strengthened in contexts such as online dating, social media, and text messaging is the constant communication. These new media provide people with more convenient ways of expressing a person’s emotions.
Managing and Enhancing Relationships
Technology helps people to manage romantic relationships in many ways. First, people use new media, such as online dating sites and social media to find useful information for strengthening their friendships. Conducting some internet search on these sites can help access tips on effective ways of navigating the relationships in online contexts. Some of the young people who were examined by Hertlein and Ancheta (2014) identified the use of technology for finding videos and online resources that can help them better support their friendships. Costabile and Spears (2012) expounded on the influence of technology on relationships in educational settings. The scholars argue that Web 2.0 technologies, such as social media, can be part of the solution to cyberbullying and other global social issues. Such innovations can be leveraged in school settings to not only promote positive relationship between teachers, students, and parents, but also provide counselling. Costabile and Spears (2012) emphasize the power of technology in promoting and strengthening relationships by arguing that social media platforms such as Facebook empower users by facilitate direct exchanges. Pagani and Pardo (2017) opine with the opinion shared by Costabile and Spears (2012). Drawing on the application of digital technology on relationships in business contexts, Pagani and Pardo (2017) assert that unlike in traditional media where the audience is largely passive, social media is characterized with active users who are actively involved in creating, changing, sharing, and disseminating content online.
In addition to that, technology facilitates conflict between partners. Sexting and social media were consistently cited as effective avenues of exchanging apologies (Hertlein & Ancheta, 2014). One interesting response by one interview stated “Texting allows for slow moving conversations without quick emotional responses so that problems can be discussed rationally” (Hertlein & Ancheta, 2014, p. 5). The private context of technology-facilitated conversations also helps in reducing the larger amount of time and negative emotions, such as anxiety, that characterize the process of developing physical relationships. For example, the absence of face-to-face interaction can enhance a person’s confidence for alluding to intimate sexual experiences. This point is valid in the sense that unlike in face-to-face interactions where simple arguments can get out of hand, the physical barrier involved in online communication reduces the risk of physical confrontations and other extreme exchanges.
Another important way technology allows people to cement their relational ties is the opportunity to demonstrate commitment to partners and friendships. This point was cited as one of the main advantages of technology in relationships in the open-ended survey by Hertlein and Ancheta (2014). This observation can be supported by practices such as declaring relationship status and sharing intimate experiences with partners via platforms such as Facebook. By sharing such gestures publicly, the person demonstrates to the partner, friends, family, and all other users in a person’s online network personal commitment to making the relationship work. Similar sentiments are expressed by Costabile and Spears (2012) who emphasized the for schools and teachers to share positive experiences about students, classrooms, and the school in general via school websites and social networking sites.
On the same note, technology has introduced new methods of expressing romance that were never imagined before. Particularly, the use of sex toys is becoming a common way of ‘spicing up’ up people sex life. This point was confirmed by the qualitative study conducted by Hertlein and Ancheta (2014), where participants identified novice ways of expressing romance such as using sex toys. Other methods included watching pornographic content with a partner, engaging in sexual acts via media (such as Skype), and sharing erotic pictures, videos, and texts (Hertlein & Ancheta, 2014). Though most of these practices are morally questionable, they can help establish and maintain intimacy in relationships, allow people to fulfil fantasies, and keep their relationships strong.
Lastly, the role of technology in maintaining and enhancing long distance relationships cannot be disputed. Tong et al. (2016) and Pagani and Pardo (2017) shared the opinion that technology is a key ingredient to keeping and revitalising intimacy and relationships between people who are far apart. In the same vain, Hertlein and Ancheta (2014) stressed that emails, video calls, instant messaging, social media, and other interactive platforms allow people to talk with their spouses, family, friends, and colleagues anytime anywhere. By enabling such ubiquitous interaction, technology makes people who physically distant feel closer, consequently enhancing their relationships.
Conclusion
The rapid advancement of technology has dramatically changed the ways people experience and share love. In the past, the family, relatives, friends, and colleagues were traditionally the primary avenues of meeting potential romantic partners. Today, the proliferation of advanced technology has revolutionised romantic the development of relationships by allowing people to easily increase their dating choices. Online dating sites, emails, instant messaging, social networking platforms, and other technological innovations have emerged as powerful media through which social ties are formed and strengthened. However, increased use of technology may prove detrimental to relationship, an issue that can be addressed in another discussion.
References
Bergdall, A. R., Kraft, J. M., Andes, K., Carter, M., Hatfield-Timajchy, K., & Hock-Long, L. (2012). Love and hooking up in the new millennium: Communication technology and relationships among urban African American and Puerto Rican young adults. Journal of sex research, 49(6), 570-582. Web.
Costabile, A., & Spears, B. A. (2012). The impact of technology on relationships in educational settings. Routledge.
Hertlein, K. M., & Ancheta, K. (2014). Advantages and disadvantages of technology in relationships: Findings from an open-ended survey. Qualitative Report, 19(11), 1-11. Web.
Pagani, M., & Pardo, C. (2017). The impact of digital technology on relationships in a business network. Industrial Marketing Management, 67(0019-8501), 185–192. Web.
Parigi P. & State B. (2014) Disenchanting the World: The Impact of Technology on Relationships. In: Aiello L.M., McFarland D. (eds) Social Informatics. SocInfo 2014. Lecture Notes in Computer Science, vol 8851. Springer, Cham. Web.
Tong, S. T., Hancock, J. T., & Slatcher, R. B. (2016). The influence of technology on romantic relationships: Understanding online dating. Social Computing and Social Media, 162-173.