Introduction
Childhood is an experience any human born alive, is bound to go through. No matter your social standing today: either poor or rich, big or small, tall or short famous or not, you definitely cannot the fact that you were once a child. To some, it is an experience they would love to go over and over again, but to some, it was a painful moment they would never want to neither go through again in their life nor wish it for someone else. The big question is why.
Who Is a Child
All over the world, people with different perceptions, in different geographical locations and with different backgrounds, give various and diverse definitions as to who a child is or who can be referred to as a child. In trying to generalize the definition of a child, I would say a child is anyone who has not yet attained puberty, maturity, or the age of legal majority. In other words who is not recognized by the laws of the land into which he/she is born as a full-grown or matured citizen.
Factors and How They Affect Childhood Experience
Earlier on, we realized there were two very contrasting perceptions or memories of childhood. Now, this is because so many factors or conditions exist that affect or can have a very serious impact on one’s childhood and depending on how they do so, is what can either make once childhood is a nice experience or a bitter one. These factors can be socially, politically, or economically motivated. These factors could affect childhood directly or indirectly. When we take social factors, for instance, these could be factors originating from one relationship with social institutions such as the family, school, church amongst others.
The family is one of the very first social institutions a child comes into contact with within the early stages of childhood. It is therefore important that families create a very conducive environment for the proper physical and psychological development of a child. Families can however do so by showing love, concern, care to children born into the family. These three words “LOVE, CONCERN, AND CARE” mentioned in the latter sentence although simple, means and entails a lot. Unfortunately, these things are the things most families lack, so how then do they show this to the younger generations born into the family. One very important thing that needs to be noted is that childhood is a very important stage and developing good characters and attitudes (it could also be bad ones if care is not taken0 and so good training must be given a child during childhood if he/she is to live a good and meaningful life in society in the future. Schools and religious institutions (examples could be churches mosques est.) also help in a way in instilling some kind of discipline, skills, and religious norms into children which also goes a long way in nurturing the child to have a brighter future.
Political and economic conditions, however, are typical examples of factors that affect childhood indirect, in other words, what exactly they do is to first of all affect institutions or persons indirect relationship or link with the child and since the child depends on these individuals and institutions the effect whether god or bad is somehow transferred to the child. A clear testimony about how these factors can affect one’s childhood can be seen or identified in the story about my childhood later in this writing.
Children even though described as immature, have some rights and moral standings which are clearly defined by the UN convention on the rights of a child. Unfortunately, these rights are only very ineffective in most developed countries. In other places too where they are respected or used, it either only some are been used or they exist but are not implemented any way or poorly. Some of the issues defined or mentioned by the UN convention have been summarized as follows :
- It makes mention of the fact that any action or decision taken concerning children by authorities must be in the best interest of the child. In other words, the child should be the primary concern.
- It also says that state parties or authorities must respect the rights and duties of parents/guardians or whosoever is a legal responsibility for the upbringing of the child.
- The fact children also have the right or freedom of expression and association, was not left out since this also helps the child exploit his/her potentials to the fullest and also learns how to relate with others and live with others in harmony.
There are however many other things the UnConvention on the rights of the child highlights or throws light on but the main idea is that all these things said or mentioned in the convention are all for the good interest of the child and society as a whole and it is therefore important all communities and societies adhere to this convention and make it work or should I say: use it for their own benefit.
Personal Childhood Experience
It was about 9 pm, Ufuoma shouted the taxi is here, Ufuoma is my eldest sister. I come from a family of six. On this day my mother was preparing to go to the airport, she was leaving for the U.K. There was a lot of celebration as well as lots of family and friends in our house to wish my mother a safe journey. I do not have a clue what was happening but was happy to see lots of people and food in our house. This day was the 10th of July, 1988. Shortly before all the guests arrived my parents called everyone into the living room to inform us that my mother is traveling today. This was the day I lost my mother.
In other to write about childhood I needed to find out what it means. Childhood is a period of life, which means different things in different places and to different people. It is also an ‘ideology’ in the sense that it appears to be a natural and generally applicable phenomenon but is in fact produced by the ideas that circulate in any society. A child and their childhood are important that is why the children’s Act and the United Nations Convention on the rights of a child article 1-53 are always used in a developed country, hopefully, this will be applied in every part of the world in the future.
My name is Vivian Gabriel; I was born in Lagos State, Nigeria on the 8th of august, 1983 to Gabriel and Florence Umukoro. The president of the country was Sheu Shagari who was removed from power in December 1983 by a coup d’etat and the leader of the coup Major General Muhammadu Buhari became the military president.
My mother is the first child of my grandparents; she was born in the Okapara waterside of Delta state in Nigeria. When she was 12yrs old she was sent to Lagos to stay with her aunty to get a better education instead she was sent out to work. By the age of 19 was married to my dad, they started a family straight away. My parents wanted four children but because of my culture in any marriage you are expected to have at least one male child, so after having four girls they decided to continue trying and had me then afterward had my brother. If not for my culture I would not have been born.
When I was born there was no traditional Christening ceremony done in my honor, but after seven days I was given a name afterward there was a party in our house but compare to when my brother was born there was a very huge party and christening to welcome the son into the family. A can clearly say that my childhood in my family was determined by the gender I was. Neill Thew says that, “Childhood is just one sociological variable, and that it is interwoven with other factors such as class, gender, and race”.
Due to the fact that my mother was the first child a lot of pressure was put on her to help the rest of her family, so my parents worked really hard to meet the family’s financial needs. My family was happy most of the time although we did not have much. My father works for the Nigerian Port Authority but in 1982 my father was made redundant, this really strained the family’s finances because only my mother was employed. In some way, I can say we were experiencing poverty for the first time so to improve family finances my parents decided that one of them will go to the UK to work because the economy in the U.K is better than that of Nigeria also more job opportunities.
After my mother came to the UK she communicated with us for a year and it went cold we did not hear from her again. This is period was the most difficult memory of my childhood because my mother who was sent to the UK by my father to work so the rest of the family can join her later has deserted us go married and started a new family. This was too difficult to comprehend for we were all devastated and felt betrayed I still feel that way to this day. I did not speak to my mother until I came to the UK in 1999 she contacted me but I declined to see her.
In the story of a childhood by Libby Brooks, Majid said that his parents left Iraq to flee the war, so they came to the UK. Shortly after coming to the UK, he was born, and after was his sister. Few months after his sister was born his dad was stabbed, although he was two at the time, he could not remember the whole details but that incident remains an important memory of his childhood.
When I asked my Father about my childhood the first thing he said to me was I was a really happy child but that changed when I was nine I understood that my mother is married to someone else and started another family. I withdrew from everyone and kept to myself. Both of my parents view a child differently, these views are similar to the Apollonian Perspective which is childhood is a time for play, and not for work, children need protection from the world, children are innocent, children are passive, children should be happy and Dionysian perspective which is children should be seen and not heard, children need protection from themselves and childhood is a time to learn discipline. Ansell (2005, p.11).
Childhood is experiences vary from country to country, a study carried out by Helen Morton when she studied children in the Pacific Island of Tanga she found that; “children are regularly beaten by their parents and older siblings. They are seen as being closer to mad people than adults because they lack the highly prized quality of social competence (or poto as the Tongans call it). They are regularly told off for being clumsy and a child who falls over may be laughed at, shouted at, or beaten. Children are thought of as mischievous; they cry or want to feed simply because they are naughty, and beatings are at their most severe between the ages of three and five when children are seen as particularly willful. Parents believe that social competence can only be achieved through discipline and physical punishment, and treat their children in ways that have seemed very harsh to outsiders”. This is how in some way my childhood was but if I compare this with the UK, the above will be child abuse, and I will be taken away from my parent, also my parent could be sent to jail.
But in the light of all this, I would like to suggest that all parents ( Guardians) give good but harmless training and guidance to their children during childhood since at that stage they compared to a fresh shoot of a plant which can be bent in whatever direction its owner wants so that as it grows in that desired direction. Al the same time, let’s make childhood an experience everyone would love to remember and love. Thank you.