Chinese history is diverse and interesting. The life led by ancient Chinese is hard to understand from Western perspective, however, many beliefs held by Chinese people and family issues are very close to modern system. As depicted in the book “The Story of the Stone” by Cao Xuegin, the Chinese society was divided into wealthy families who lived as they want and poor families who worked hard to earn the living. Despite of the financial distance, both social levels have intersected. In the final chapter of the book, a poor woman comes to the rich family for alms. She sees the crab banquet and knows that it costs a lot – enough to feed one person for a whole year. This woman is very poor and her family suffers from terrible poverty, however, she is invited to join the family, to play games, walk, and talk with them. Nevertheless, she is not involved into the family matters. Chinese culture requires being good to all people despite of their origin and financial well-being, but when it comes to the family interests all means are considered good.
Marriage, according to traditional feudal system, was determined by destiny. However, the concept of destiny was not based on love – on the contrary, two people were allowed to marry if their was a match in social status. All family members had to strive to be worthy successors of family’s reputation and rank. For Chinese society, it meant conformation to old feudal role of seeking official position and fortune. Relations between the family members were very strange: the father could freely beat his children if he perceived their behavior or words unworthy. According to Chinese traditions, servants were inferior to masters, those born of concubines were less respected than lineal descendants, elder brothers had to be friendly to younger brothers, while younger brothers had to submissive and respectful to older relations. Even though tradition set females inferior to males, in real life women had more power than men had and were in charge of many affairs not related to household.
Death was not seen as a reason to mourn by Chinese people. The Chia family spent 50 days and a lot of money on burial ritual of daughter-in-law. However, it was done to show the family’s wealth and power rather than to honor the dead person. Officials of all ranks came to the funeral and Chia’s family used the ritual as an opportunity to secure their bonding with aristocrats. Aristocrats were perceived as generous and kind, however, they were very cruel with the servants and people under their authority. When the reputation of the relative was threaten, the family members were ready to commit a crime against the offender. At the same time, immoral relations took place within the aristocratic families (between Chia Chen and Chin Ko-ching, his daughter in law).
Chinese families were built on tight bonds and such unity secured their power. The primary importance was put on ancestry, while at the same time aristocrats were willing to trains others on the basics of feudal system, aristocratism, and values. Every person was welcome to join the noble family. He or she had to be aware of all hierarchical rites and strictly follow them. Noble family was not based on blood bondages, it was about perseverance of all traditions by family members as well as servants. Chinese traditions are unique and Cao Xuegin has managed to provide skillful insights on the life of traditional aristocratic family.