Parent-child relationships are always a complex and controversial topic as parents or guardians are the most influential people in any person’s life. Children’s love is usually unconditional and unreasonable, so the actions of adults can cause both endless admiration and unbearable pain in them. Often, the relationship between fathers and children is conflictual, problematic, and toxic due to parental mistakes or children’s misunderstandings. Alienation, authoritarianism, dependence, anger, and fear are the feelings that pervade the poems of Theodore Roethke, W.S. Merwin, Sylvia Plath, and John Berryman who talk about fatherhood, which highlights the existence of this conflict and tension, and reveals different sides of family relationship complexities. All authors cover the topic in different ways, showing their complicated feelings and telling the story. However, the poems of Roethke, Merwin, Plath, and Berryman are united not only by the theme of fatherhood but also by the unspoken question ‘why?’, in which each author puts his or her own meaning.
The Confessional Poets’ works have similarities, themes, and a rhetorical question that has not been asked and will never be answered. All poems tell about a person’s relationship with his or her parent, and although they have different main lines and all the narrators have different ages, they all express the child’s feeling of dependence on the father. All authors in their works ask why the father acted this way, why their relationship was complicated like that, and why they make them feel pain.
Theodore Roethke’s poem “My Papa’s Waltz” uses images and comparisons to describe the violence and cruelty of fatherly love. At first glance, it seems that the narrator, a boy, is only playing and fooling around with his father. Roethke (1997) says that the boy and father “romped” and compares their interaction with a waltz dance, which shows the harmlessness, naivety, and even tenderness of their relationship. However, many details hint that the fight is not a game, but a manifestation of abuse. The father is drunk, his knuckle is damaged, he “beats time” on the boy’s head and holds his wrist, and the mother just glares at them in the corner of the kitchen (Roethke, 1997). However, the boy clings to his father, tries to keep up with him, and, in fact, seeks approval. Hence, the tone of the verse demonstrates that despite the cruelty of the father, the son does not stop loving him and tries to win his love. The author asks why his father treats him this way despite his best efforts. This question and the theme of childhood love and dependence on parents are fundamental to Roethke’s verse.
A similar motif has a poem “Daddy” by Sylvia Plath, although in it the adult author turns to her father and her past. As in Roethke’s verse, Plath reveals the image of a brutally oppressive father, but her main way of showing his character is to compare and refer to the cruelty of Nazi Germany and its military. Although the narrator’s father died when she was ten years old, his influence was reflected throughout her life and decisions, as if she lived under the pressure of his power all this time (Plath, 1997). This issue is revealed through a variety of images, such as a comparison of her to feet in a black boot, terrifying statues, Nazi symbols, or a tyrannical husband (Plath, 1997). The narrator realizes that this feeling is a consequence of the childhood deification of the father, which she destroys by “killing the daddy” or rather the idea of him. Therefore, the author also asks the father why he did this to her as a child and why she lived with a feeling of dependence all her life.
The poem “Yesterday” by Merwin has a different central theme, but it is also built around the father-son relationship. An adult man feels guilty about rarely visiting his parents, although he is always welcome at home (Merwin, 1983). The poem is written as a retelling of the narrator’s conversation with a friend, in which he admits that he is not a good son because he must visit his father more often and be with him longer (Merwin, 1983). However, the tone and some phrases of the verse demonstrate that the son and father are not close; they feel alienated. At the same time, the narrator feels guilty for pushing his father away but cannot make a step towards him. This feature helps the reader to understand the narrator’s actions, the complexity of the father-son relationship, and their feelings, although he does not know their story. Thus, Merwin (1983) asks why father-son relationships are always difficult and what prevents them from being closer. This topic is close to many adults who move away from their families as they grow up and experience the same conflicting feelings as the narrator.
The poem “Dream Song 384” by Berryman is also a description of the father-son relationship and dependency, which manifests itself in an extreme degree of love and hatred. The main character of the verse stands over the grave of his father filled with rage over the fact that the man committed suicide (Berryman, 1997). This rage, fear, and anger is an extreme expression of love or at least a strong bond between father and son. The son bitterly regrets the death of the dad, but he cannot accept that his father left him by taking his own life. Although the words of the author are filled with anger, which is expressed in the narrator’s desire to break the coffin or to spit on the grave, they are more an expression of despair than hatred (Berryman, 1997). With such a manifestation of emotion, the narrator asks why his father left him, why he did not think about him and his feelings. Therefore, despite the negative context of the verse, the author demonstrates the son’s painful love for his father.
In conclusion, the poems of all authors demonstrate the theme of fatherhood and the significant influence of parents on children. The authors talk about the complexity of feelings, about the pain and suffering that this relationship can cause, and about the love for the family, which is often unreasonable. Each poem has its central theme, unique language, and images; however, they are all united by one topic and one feeling. All poems are connected by the question of why parents and children act wrongly and hurt each other, and also why there is this invisible connection between the child and the father. Therefore, the Confessional Poets touch on a controversial and lively topic that has remained relevant for centuries.
References
Berryman, J. (1997). Dream song 384. In J. Conarroe (Ed.), Eight American poets: An anthology. Vintage Books.
Merwin, W. S. (1983). Yesterday. In W. S. Merwin (Ed.), Opening the Hand. Atheneum.
Plath, S. (1997). Daddy. In J. Conarroe (Ed.), Eight American Poets: an Anthology. Vintage Books.
Roethke, T. (1997). My papa’s waltz. In J. Conarroe (Ed.), Eight American Poets: an Anthology. Vintage Books.