Introduction
We have all experienced grief in one way or another. It could be through loss of a loved one, a family member, a friend or a job. A simple definition of grief, provided by Webster is, “a keen mental suffering or distress over affliction or loss, sharp sorrow or painful regret” (Bryant, 2009, p. 45).
Therefore following this example, we can say that we have all at one point experienced grief or have witnessed someone going through it. Losing a job or being unable to find one, can be classified as grief. The question that comes to mind is, how do you deal with this mental situation?
At the age of 55 you are likely to experience a higher degree of mental anguish than an average 35 year old man. Consequently, there are probably few companies that would employ older men. This is because they (the companies), consider the productivity level against age, therefore coming to a conclusion that older men are less productive than younger men. This is generally the trend in the job market.
The older you get the more unemployable you become. In some instances, however, employers go for the older generation because of the professional experience they possess. It is therefore important to know what you are good at and maintain a reasonable standard for career longevity.
Being unemployed forces you to make rapid and unexpected changes to your lifestyle; thereby affecting not only you but also the people close to you. This may make you feel angry, unsettled and even scared since at this point your financial future is unclear.
When this situation arises, it is important to know that you are not alone. Family and friends are a key component in dealing with this situation. Talking about it allows you to maintain a certain level of sanity.
Questions you should ask yourself
One of the ways of dealing with this situation is by talking to a professional counselor. By working with a counselor you can explore ways to improve your situation. In essence this is a path to rediscovering yourself. Ask yourself the following questions:
- What are your strengths?
- What are you good at?
After answering these questions, assess how you feel. You will definitely feel good knowing that your worth is valued.
Addressing the problem
People have different ways of tackling obstacles. While others turn to alcohol and drugs to make them feel better; this is an escapist way of dealing with the issue. The problem will still be unattended once you get sober. The best way is to face your problem, so to speak. The questions to address here are:
- How did you feel after failing to secure a job, the first few times you tried?
- How do you feel now?
- What did you do about it? What are you doing now?
- And finally, how is your self esteem affected?
Coping techniques
The next step is to find ways of coping with unemployment. What are the steps you need take?
You should consider taking the following steps:
- You can join a job support program. No one has a better grasp of what you are feeling than your peers. You can open up during the sessions and share your thoughts. It will make you feel calm and will definitely take some of the stress away.
- It is beneficial to keep a positive attitude.This can be achieved by having supportive friends and family as this will eliminate loneliness. Family and friends can also act as your network for job information (Bryant, 2009).
- When looking for a job, look at the trends and ask yourself; do you have what it takes? Think of your current predicament as a temporary setback. Keep a positive outlook and plan ahead.
- In the meantime you can use volunteership as a way of adding to your experience.
- Consider joining retraining programs. Before doing that reassess your skills and abilities. Are they applicable to the fast changing work environment?
- Ensure you keep healthy by exercising regularly and eating healthy foods. Stressful situations may lead to binge eating. To avoid this, make a dietary plan.
- Networking is important for future job prospects. Reach out to everyone and use every beneficial resource you can find.
- Seek counseling whenever necessary. Professional guidance is a fruitful road to coping with unemployment.
- Avoid people with negative thoughts. Try spending time with people who encourage you to go forward. In the same line seek people who have had to go through a similar crisis and have positively dealt with it. You can also look at unemployment from a different angle and consider it as a good thing. Think of it as more time to do other things you like and even spend that much needed time with your family. At 55, you’ve probably had to work most of the time and had little time for yourself. So think of it as a temporary vacation (Okun, 2007).
In addition to this, it is advisable to make a target for each week. Achieving your target will raise your spirits.
References
Bryant, E. (2009). Thirty-five Techniques Every Counselor Should Know. New Jersey: Pearson Education, Inc.
Okun, F. (2007). Effective Helping: Interviewing and Counseling Techniques. Belmont, CA: Thomson Brooks.