Some cultures across the world have been practicing arranged marriages for several decades. Even in the modern age, some communities are still cherishing this tradition. All the successful marriages arranged by parents largely depend on the personality of the individuals who are getting married.
There are many challenges faced by couples who are forced into marriages. Divakaruni (2) is quite categorical that there are some forced marriages that work in spite of the prevailing cultural differences. The arranged marriage of Jiang is a typical example of such unions. Arranging a marriage is not a smooth process at all. Both parents have to consider quite a number of factors before choosing a lady that they want their son to marry.
Arranged marriages are often done between members of the same caste. This may be a limitation depending on the geographical location of the two parties. For instance, the Hindus and Indian communities often organize marriages for their children. Before bringing the couples together, their differences have to be harmonized. This is done by assessing the differences and similarities between the two families and confirming that the two can match each other in a lasting relationship.
The parents of the couple adequately investigate the other family. This ensures that the lady is going to be married to a reputable family and that the son is from a respected family as well. All these investigations are done in a process called arranged marriage. All the expenses of the marriage are taken care of by the parents of the couple.
The reason why arranged marriages are encouraged among the Hindus is that there is utmost respect compared to marriages arranged and planned by the couples themselves.
The elders often claim that they are not pleased with marriages embedded on love. Most women in this case are usually not worried about the men as their future husbands. They trust that the parents will choose the best match for them. Despite the differences that are likely to be witnessed, arranged marriages still work in many societies.
Most cultures in the western world allow unmarried couples to look for their own marital partners. This ensures that the couples fully understand each other and are ready to live together in lifetime bondage. It reduces the risks of divorce or misunderstandings within a marital set up.
Most of the Indians believe that marriages based on love are bound to fail. Since the arranged marriages are between people of the same caste, cultural practices are the same. This helps in fighting any cultural differences and problems that may crop up during the marital union.
Research studies indicate that most of the arranged marriages are less likely to fail compared to love marriages. This is due to the fact that most divorce cases are often common among couples who were married based on love for each other. Before getting married in the arranged mode, the young couples have to be obedient and marry the partners that their parents have chosen for them without complaining.
The only problem that is likely to occur is in cases when the two fail to fall in love with each other. When a marriage is arranged, the couples do not know each other, neither they are familiar with their likes and dislikes. This may be one of the major causes of disagreements between such couples when they will finally be living together. However, differences may be settled by the fact that they believe that marriage is all about commitment but not love for each other. Feelings towards their partners develop as life progresses.
The latter is the key ingredient towards their survival. The partners have a reason to hold on to the marriage and stay together.
Another challenge posed by arranged marriages is the aspect of dependency. When the marriage partners have been sought by the parents on behalf of the partners, they are more unlikely to make decisions on their own.
The couples do not trust in their abilities. As a result, they may regularly go back to their parents to seek advice even in regards to less complicated matters. If problems and disagreements between the couple arise, they put the blame on their parents for choosing bad partners for them. It is not surprising for a couple to stay together in a marriage where emotions towards the other fail to grow because love and feelings take the second position in this kind of marriage.
When parents arrange a marriage for their children, chances of interfering with the relationship are high. When problems in the arranged marriages occur and the couples notify their parents, the parents solve the problems in the absence of the couple. This might bring additional challenges to the relationship (Allerndorf and Dirgha 6).
According to Xiaohe and King (2), cultural differences are inevitable. However, arranged marriages have their benefits. The parents of the couples get a partner from a family that is financially well off. This provides financial security since wealth and property are in abundance in the family.
Arranged marriages also help in keeping culture alive. Mrs. Pritchett is one of the characters who is not happy at all with her arranged marriage. She complains that her husband has completely failed to demonstrate any love in their union (Divakaruni 3). Their marriage is indeed troubled.
When couples from the same cultural and religious backgrounds marry each other, they extend the same cultural and religious values to their families. Most of the young women who are married through the arranged marriages are in most cases considered to be sexually pure since culture insists on the importance of abstinence and preserving personal respect for their future husbands. This offers a viable solution to problems that are usually brought about by relationships prior to marriage.
Works Cited
Allerndorf, Keera and Ghimire Dirgha. Determinants of marital quality in an arranged marriage society. 2012. Web.
Divakaruni, Chitra. One Amazing Thing. New Delhi: Hyperion, 2010. Print.
Xiaohe Xu and Martin King. Love Matches and Arranged Marriages: A Chinese Replication. Journal of Marriage and Family 52 (1990): 709-722. Print.