My divorce with my husband played a very significant role in my life. I was sure that it would mark a turning point in my life but I was unsure if the change would be for the better or for the worst. As I got into single motherhood, I had mixed emotions for my husband and did not want them to show. The strength with which I contained the situation made me develop virtues I could never have developed while living with my ex-husband.
After divorcing my husband, I was emotionally devastated. Although I did not show it I was deeply hurting inside and had to fight day and night to hide the feelings. This hiding of emotions however played a very great role in making feel like i’m hitting back at my husband. I did not miss him, or rather did not appear to, and thus from what we had shared I expected him to be hurt by this fact. For this reason, I got my encouragement to continue hiding my feelings until I eventually got over the divorce. Another major problem that arose with the divorce is single motherhood. I had never raised kids on my own and, having four children, it was not easy for me. I was obliged to take male responsibilities at some points and this was very challenging to me. I however learnt how to make up for the absence of my ex-husband and raised my children well (Meyer 1).
My children were greatly affected by my divorce with their father. My suppression of emotions made me moody most of the time and my children had a considerably hard time relating with me. I also did not have experience in single motherhood and they had been used to a full family. They were thus certainly affected by the absence of their father. The fact that I was playing male roles also affected them. This is because it is something they were not used to.
Despite the emotional problems I was going through as I divorced my husband, I did not let my feelings show. I made sure that I suppressed my emotions so that other people never knew how divorce had affected me. I particularly made sure that my children never saw me cry or undergo any changes that they could attribute to my divorce with their father. During the court proceedings of my divorce, I ensured that my emotions did not show. I was of the opinion that if I acted with emotions, it would appear as if I did not want the divorce. My suppressing of emotions worked out just fine. I regained my self esteem and became more self confident. I would never have developed these virtues while living with him so I can confidently say that this was an advantage of my divorce with my ex-husband.
Immediately after making this decision, I was unsure of whether I had made the right decision and whether I was going to make it without my ex-husband but my determination and sacrifice saw me through. Breaking from a marriage is never easy, especially if there are children involved, but if one has good reasons for it, he/she should go ahead and divorce their spouse. There is nothing as degrading as holding on to an abusive relationship.
Works Cited
Meyer, Cathy. “Eight Tips to Help You Deal With Mixed Emotions After Divorce.” 2010. Web.