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The world has become very sophisticated to the point that people are able to raise children without necessarily being their real biological parents. This happens due to the death of the real parents, inability to conceive, neglecting to take care of children, and terminal illness that makes parents unable to take care and provide basic needs for their children. This process that involves other people taking care of a child that they did not give birth to is referred to as adoption. Even though it is a good gesture by human beings, adoption has different emotional issues that are associated with rejection, losses, and identity crisis.
Rejection is one of the greatest issues that hinder the emotional satisfaction of the adopted child to the new parents’ home and way of life. It is very obvious that regardless of the age of a child adopted, it is very common for them to notice the difference in attitudes from other family members, and this keeps bothering them all the days of their lives. Many families that have adopted a child usually become very attentive to any clue that may expose some of their aspects of rejection in order to keep off from any bad view perceived earlier by the adopted child (Grey 2002). The society, through the various forms of mass media, has instilled a negative perception regarding adoption through highlighting its bad side and neglecting the positive sides.
Many educational institutions have propagated the negative side of adoption, and this has led to the further rejection of the adopted children by fellow students as they are perceived to be very different from the rest of the society (Perry 2011). However, learning institutions can play a very major role in ensuring that the value and importance of adoption are highlighted. It is very difficult to sweep under the carpet the pain of rejection since almost all members of the society contribute to rejecting the adopted children, and this makes them feel very bitter and painful.
Many people are left wondering and wishing they should never have been separated from their parents due to the pain and suffering they go through (Thomas 2005). Guiding and counseling usually play a very important role in the adopted children after they are separated from their parents, especially their mothers. When they are taken through a proper counseling session, the emotional pain that is usually associated with adoption and rejection fades away within a short time.
Coping with the fact that one has lost a loved one is one of the painful experiences associated with many cases of adoption. Many people break down and become emotionally stressed due to the fact that they will never see or talk to their loved ones. In addition, many people have ignored the fact that the adopted children require a lot of support due to the psychological trauma they experience as a result of the death of one or both parents and their siblings (Keck 2009). Apart from the basic needs they are provided with, there should be a provision for counseling and emotional support to the abandoned children.
In addition, the suffering associated with adoption has multiple losses due to the fact that one or both parents are missing, and the child is being taken to unfamiliar homes. The provision of basic needs may vary from what they used to get from their parents. Moreover, suffering makes the children feel discriminated against by other family members. The fact that children left behind will never meet, see or talk to the dead family members makes the whole process of adoption to take too long to be successful. It is very important to note that death is irreversible, and once it occurs, it becomes the end of a person’s life and association with family members and society.
Children whose parents die or abandon them when they are too young are usually faced with a great identity crisis due to the absence of essential records to help in their identification. The fact that the children adopted lack proper self-satisfaction as members of the new families makes it hard for them to settle in their new homes. This makes the parents feel their roles are not adequately performed and that they are not doing enough to make the adopted children feel comfortable in their new homes. Most people who have adopted children find it very hard to identify with such children.
Many people still find it very hard to trace and figure out why such children should exist and have very many questions that no one is able to answer regarding their existence (Hughes 2009). Most people think that being an adopted child means a person is a social outcast and community reject. In conclusion, this makes their identity to carry various meanings such as unlucky or unfortunate, while others label them outcasts and society rejects, which are discriminatory and offensive terms in society.
Human beings are faced with many challenges that threaten their existence, and one such challenge is death. It results in cases of orphaned children that society has a duty to ensure they are well taken care of. People should avoid bad-mouthing the less fortunate in society but instead develop a positive attitude towards them and accommodate them in their families if they have the ability to feed an extra mouth.
Grey, D.G. (2002). Attaching in Adoption: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents. New York: Perspectives Publishers.
Hughes, D.A. (2009). Attachment Focused Parenting: Effective Strategies to Care for Children. New York: W.W. Norton and Company.
Keck, G.C. (2009). Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow. Kansas: Navpress.
Perry, B.D. (2011). Born for Love: Why Empathy is Essential and Endangered. New York: William Morrow Paperbacks.
Thomas, N. (2005). When Love is not Enough: A Guide to Parenting Children with RAD. Kansas: Families by Design.