Every day, we deal with emotions. From the moment we wake, to the moment we rest our heads, we are in constant contact with a feeling of some kind. Even through our sleep, in our dreams, we encounter emotion. Many, however, never reflect on how emotions work, or what they can do to improve their emotional lives. The content of the lecture dealt thematically with these concepts, describing the deep impact emotions have on our lives, addressing emotional intelligence (EQ) as a key player in our ultimate success or failure, detailing the components of emotions, exemplifying ways to release emotion, and ultimately speaking on essential elements of happiness. The lecture definitely inspired thought and reflection on how I operate, and illuminated the nature of some difficulties I experience when dealing with my own emotions.
The lecturer begins by displaying how emotions color our lives, using a clip from the film Evita in which Antonio Bonderas is mourning the death of the title character. He, and everyone he comes into contact with in the clip, is grieving for Evita. That grief comprises the essence of the moment being transcribed, which was supposed to show how emotion washes over our lives. This is where the lecturer begins, showing the power of emotions before explaining the roles our knowledge and volition play in the process of feeling.
The next topic covered is particularly impactful to me personally. He discusses IQ and EQ, and explains the differences between the two, emphasizing the greater impact the latter has on our future success. The lecturer explains that many intelligent people fail professionally and personally because they have very low EQ’s, and therefore cannot function properly, intelligently, in the world in which we live. One aspect of EQ that I have great difficulty with is impulse control, which plays a major role in maintaining long-sighted focus when small obstacles hinder me. At jobs and at school, I sometimes find it difficult to keep in mind the bigger picture, and act impulsively on frustrations and angers that, if let go, would allow me the freedom to move toward my ultimate goals.
The lecturer begins then to cover our roles in our emotions. He explains that it is not only events that shape how we feel, but our thoughts about the events. He shows a clip from Billy Elliott in which a father is very angry at his son for participating in a dance class. His father makes it clear that he thinks dance classes are for girls, not boys, and therefore is angry, disappointed, and upset with his son. Though this did not hit home for me as much as the lecturer’s previous point, I found it interesting that the poor quality of the father’s thoughts resulted in irrational anger and insecurity. If the father could have seen dance for what it is instead of stereotyping the art form as for females exclusively, he would have afforded himself emotions of pride and happiness over his son’s participation.
After a discussion of how we communicate our emotions through our facial expressions, our words, and our body language, the lecturer explains that song and dance are actually integral parts of how we release our emotional stresses and tensions. He shows a clip of an Indian film to exemplify this, in which a village begins to dance. This section of the lecture I found particularly important, as I am a person who has difficulty in accurately expressing my feelings and also in allowing myself emotional releases. The unmentioned distinction between healthy emotional release, and impulsive, self-damaging indulgence is worth noting here as well.
The most important point the lecturer makes comes at the end of the video when he discusses what makes a person happy. The point is that happiness does not come from outside of us. He says that happiness is not attained through success or wealth, but instead by faith, optimism, a sense of control over one’s life, meaningful work, and close relationships.
The lecture builds to this disclosure, after covering the things that can hinder our happiness. Being brought to be aware of some of my problems with impulse control, I can now see how those problems impact my happiness as it is a result of the aforementioned elements. Not having an optimistic attitude is an example of something that fosters impulsiveness, which makes me think that perhaps I do not have enough faith in the fact that I will reach my goals to deny myself the pleasures of the moment. Here I think having a sense of control over my life is most important, because if I think that I am subject to the whims of those around me I give into impulse more frequently. Though I have close relationships, I am excited to see how I can grow my happiness in them, and in my professional life, after I exercise more control over my impulsivity, and allow for the elements of happiness to become greater parts of my life.