Different external factors can be viewed as usual causes of family stress because they are often difficult to be prevented and addressed adequately (Horta & Fernandes, 2018). In this paper, I will describe the time of the most significant stress in my family that was triggered by outside factors, and that caused important changes in the life of my relatives. The purpose of this paper is to identify and describe the experienced family crisis with reference to the theoretical perspectives regarding the issue and reflect on the learned lessons.
It is important to start with identifying the stressor that led to the development of the family crisis and certain negative and positive changes in my family. When I was fifteen years old, my father was fired because of a new staff reduction policy adopted in his company. The problem was that human resources managers did not notify employees about coming changes and planned layoffs associated with a merger of two companies. As a result, many employees were fired without opportunities to find a job before a layoff. The father’s loss of a job was not a common stressor because this situation changed the life of my family significantly as my mother was a housewife, and the father’s salary was the only income source for us.
During the discussed period, my relatives overcame the course of a family crisis. Three stages of this crisis include the event provoking it, the disorganization period, and the recovery or reorganization period (Lamanna, Riedmann, & Stewart, 2014). At the first stage, my father faced the problem of losing a job without possibilities to find a new position within the shortest period of time. He was shocked and could not tell us about this situation for three days. During that period, my father was trying to find another job, resolving issues associated with receiving the compensation, and hoping that the situation could be overcome without disturbing my mother and me. When my mother learned about the problem, she was depressed, but I could not realize that the situation was really difficult for us.
At the second stage, the father spent all his time searching for a job, he was nervous and could not sleep at night because our savings were limited, and he often described the situation as a “catastrophe.” Still, my mother coped with her stress and started to communicate with her friends and former colleagues to find some freelance work for her. She also contacted my grandparents to learn about possibilities for me to move to them for a certain period of time, depending on the development of our situation. I noticed that we almost did not communicate with each other during that period, and everyone tried to find his own solution to the problem. For example, I became responsible for many activities or duties that previously had been performed by my mother.
We began to communicate freely only when my father and mother received the first feedbacks from employers and their friends. At this stage, they started to discuss options and chose the most appropriate ones. During the recovery period, the life in my family was reorganized because my mother started to work as a freelancer, and my father found a job of his dream, but he needed to work more hours per week. However, in spite of expanded responsibilities, we began to feel more protected and even happy.
My family coped with the crisis while focusing on individual and community resources. According to Lamanna et al. (2014), there are three types of resources: personal, family, and community. My mother and father chose to use their knowledge and skills to find new jobs and savings to cover expenses during the crisis. They also referred to the community in the form of asking for the support from friends and community members.
While focusing on the lessons learned from the situation, I should refer to the concepts of resilient and vulnerable families. Resilient families resolve issues relying on each other and demonstrating support and respect (Henry, Sheffield Morris, & Harrist, 2015). Vulnerable families feel less control over situations, and they cannot act efficiently (Lamanna et al., 2014). Although my family reacted to the crisis mostly as a resilient family, the situation had demonstrated that we needed to focus on addressing aspects of communication that could make us vulnerable. Thus, we needed to communicate with each other and demonstrate support when problems happened because this approach allows for resolving issues more effectively. My mother and father saw the opportunity in the problem and positively changed their life, but they could avoid anxiety and depression when focusing on respect, support, and assistance.
I can state that the critical situation that changed the life of my family was overcome effectively, and we demonstrated adaptability and the ability to rely on the support of an extended family and community. However, the first steps taken by my father and mother in coping with the crisis were less productive than it is typical for resilient families. I should note that we could analyze the situation later, and my mother began to demonstrate more support and motivation for my father in order to avoid his anxiety and unrest.
References
Henry, C. S., Sheffield Morris, A., & Harrist, A. W. (2015). Family resilience: Moving into the third wave. Family Relations, 64(1), 22-43.
Horta, A. L. M., & Fernandes, H. (2018). Family and crisis: Contributions of systems thinking for family care. Revista Brasileira de Enfermagem, 71(2), 234-235.
Lamanna, M. A., Riedmann, A., & Stewart, S. D. (2014). Marriages, families, and relationships: Making choices in a diverse society (12th ed.). Boston, MA: Cengage Learning.