Introduction
Marriage is a fundamental social institution in most cultures. According to Bornstein (2018), it has both legal and symbolic meaning because it refers to a contract offering particular rights and conferring certain responsibilities to spouses and serves to demonstrate that they are intimate and close with each other. It is clear that individuals’ attitudes to marriages and the ways they interact with their partners alter along with changes in social and cultural trends.
Moreover, people at different developmental stages in life may have distinct perceptions of marital relationships. Based on this, the present paper will aim to examine differences and similarities in the attitudes and behaviors of partners who were married for over twenty years and a newlywed couple. Spouses’ interview answers will be analyzed to show how relationships in marriage may evolve over time and be influenced by the overall social-cultural environment.
Main Observations
Responses of the interviewed couples have some differences and similarities. Firstly, the experienced couple did not live for a long time together before marriage compared to newlyweds who shared an apartment for at least three years prior to getting married eventually. The older spouses explained this by saying that they regarded marriage as the only right way of living together and that it was common to get married early back in the late 1970s.
Conversely, the younger couple stated that they wanted to be together but did not see marriage as an ultimate goal and pursued professional and personal objectives instead. These answers conform to recent research evidence on marriage trends, verifying that marriage is no longer seen as an endpoint of adult development and that people now legalize their relationships later in life (Santrock, 2017, p. 327).
The experienced couple also had children right after the marriage, while the younger spouses are only considering having them. This factor largely defines the way they manage household tasks: newlyweds share them equally most of the time, while the experienced partners divide them strictly in accordance with traditional gender roles. Notably, the younger couple had their biggest arguments when they failed to allocate household chores fairly to each other. At the same time, the older couple struggled mainly due to financial reasons.
Gender Roles
Gender affects spouses’ roles in the experienced couple more than in the less experienced one. Both of the younger spouses have well-paid jobs and regard professional development as a significant aspect of life. Conversely, the husband in the experienced couple has always primarily played the role of breadwinner while his wife played a traditional female role of nurturer and took care of household and childcare responsibilities. Although she started to earn money as well later on when children got older and independent enough, it is clear that the experienced couple has a more conservative view on the distribution of household tasks.
Still, all spouses stated that they performed and continue to engage in such roles because of their expectations and perceptions of marriage. It is worth noticing that marital satisfaction depends on the perceptions of fairness in the division of household chores, as well as predictability of and individuals’ control over lifestyles they lead (Ogletree, 2015; Santrock, 2017, p. 321). In accordance with this observation, both couples agreed that the way their roles are distributed helps them to be happier in marriage.
Changes in Partners’ Relationship
The older couple always regarded children as an essential and central part of marital life. However, they noted that they commenced spending less time together as a couple when their first child was born. Overall, it is possible to say that the partners experienced a shift from romantic love to companionate love as their relationship became less passionate but emotionally close (Santrock, 2017, p. 324). However, the spouses also noted that the shift was not permanent and that passion appeared and disappeared multiple times throughout marriage, but they always remained loyal to each other.
As for the younger couple, they are still planning to have children but do not expect anything to change substantially in their lifestyle with their appearance. The wife says that she will take short maternity leave but will likely come back to work soon after the child’s birth and will remain as active socially and professionally as she is now. The husband supports her entirely in this decision and says that he will be involved in childcare responsibilities to a similar extent. It is possible to say that at the given stage, the love that newlyweds show to each other may be described as consummate love. Their relationship includes intimacy, passion, and commitment (Santrock, 2017, p. 325). However, it can be suggested that a short period of involvement in marriage largely defines their current situation.
Conclusion: Major Takeaways
The analysis findings reveal that individuals’ behaviors and interactions in marriage are defined by the overall social-cultural context. For example, the older couple has a more conservative perception of family and children as a crucial part of marriage that is in line with the values of the society in which they were brought up. At the same time, the younger couple is more oriented towards personal development and is not in a hurry to have children, and such an attitude is a sign of the modern times as well.
However, more importantly, this exercise demonstrated that to be happy in marriage, partners should have realistic expectations of marital relationships and lifestyles and strive to foster fairness in the division of household labor based on each others’ preferences. Thus, it is possible to assert that those spouses who have similar perceptions and views on martial roles and responsibilities have more chances to be emotionally satisfied and preserve love.
References
Bornstein, M.H. (2018). The SAGE encyclopedia of lifespan human development. New York, NY: SAGE.
Ogletree, S. M. (2015). Gender role attitudes and expectations for marriage. Journal of Research on Women and Gender, 5, 71-82.
Santrock, J.W. (2017). Essentials of life-span development. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Education.