Introduction
The tension in the relationships between generations is natural and ubiquitous. It is subject to many factors, and the ability to bridge the gap often tends to be paradoxical and unpredictable. For instance, the mother character in I Stand Here Ironing eventually stabilized her relationship with Emily despite their challenges.
Conversely, Mrs. Johnson and Dee from Everyday Use did not experience much negativity from an objective perspective compared to the previous pair; nevertheless, they came to a direct confrontation at the end. In this context, the mothers’ decision to support or go against their daughters’ behavior was influenced by their daughters’ upbringing peculiarities, the reasons behind the familial separation, and mothers’ perceptions of their daughters’ adherence to expectations.
The Upbringing of Emily and Dee
Rejection in I Stand Here Ironing
In the former case, the mother displays a tendency to constantly reject Emily’s wants and needs. The rejection is most apparent when the mother reminisces about Emily’s nursery school days. In particular, she commented that she understood clearly that Emily disliked the teacher who “was evil” or that she could get in conflict with other children (Olsen 2). Olsen further demonstrates the mother’s frustration with Emily by commenting on countless reasons Emily came up with to stay at home. The mother understood that Emily hated the school but still had to send her there since it was “the only way we could be together” (Olsen 2). The mother’s genuine understanding of the situation and Emily’s feelings are the foundation for future events’ development. The need to comply with circumstances despite personal desires led to the mother developing a feeling of guilt – the feeling that would motivate the mother to seek opportunities to make amends to Emily.
Provision in Everyday Use
Following the recount of events surrounding Dee’s early childhood, Mrs. Johnson does not portray it as particularly challenging and negative. Within the framework of their family’s position on the social ladder, she manages to provide Dee with her needs and wants. Mrs. Johnson even allows herself an exaggeration in generalizing Dee’s childhood, stating that “no” is a word the world never learned to say to her” (Walker). According to Mrs. Johnson, Dee had a strong sense of self-confidence supported by her appearance – she was accepted well by society and particularly well with the opposite gender (Walker). However, this description of Dee was given in contrast with her other daughter, Maggie, who lacked many things Dee possessed. In this context, Walker hints that Mrs. Johnson dislikes her daughter’s self-centered attitude.
Daughters’ Separation from Family
Lack of Financial Stability in I Stand Here Ironing
An apparent financial struggle of Emily’s mother is a partial reason for her separation. As a single mother, she could not afford to take care of Emily after giving birth, which resulted in giving Emily to her father’s family (Olsen 1). The nursing school mentioned earlier was also motivated by the need to work to care for the family’s necessities.
If viewed from the Marxist theory, these circumstances can be considered the consequences of Emily’s mother’s low position on the social ladder – being poor does not allow her to be a proper mother. In addition, when physical separation ends with the mother remarrying, there is a degree of psychological separation that the Feminist theory can explain. Namely, from that moment onward, the mother had to assume the women’s traditional role in a patriarchal family. It rendered her unable to devote time to Emily due to household chores and other children she had to care for (Olsen 2). These experiences significantly contributed to the mother’s feeling of guilt toward Emily.
Sufficient Financial Stability in Everyday Use
Despite living in the countryside and not being particularly rich, Mrs. Johnson’s description of the past does not indicate familial financial struggles. On the contrary, the family managed to overcome the fire destroying their old house (Walker). Furthermore, Mrs. Johnson was able to allocate enough funds to secure Dee an education in Augusta – the local administrative center (Walker).
Compared to events illustrated in I Stand Here Ironing, the physical separation of Dee from the family came as second, with the psychological separation developing much earlier. Further into the story, Mrs. Johnson mentions how Dee boasted her knowledge and way of city life, exemplifying the former’s disapproval of that. In many ways, the physical distance between Dee and Mrs. Johnson rendered the latter unable to influence Dee’s growing arrogance.
Adherence to Subjective Expectations
Witnessing the Flourishing Talent in I Stand Here Ironing
Based on the slowly accumulating feeling of guilt toward Emily, the mother perceives her success in comedy as a long-awaited relief. The mother longed to find a way to support her daughter, so she advised Emily to try the chances at the school amateur show (Olsen 5). The show resulted in a booming success, opening many doors and opportunities for Emily to shine. The mother acknowledged her daughter’s abilities and independence, deliberately no longer intervening in Emily’s decision-making. The story ends with the mother restating the achievement of her purpose to let Emily grow aware of her ability to shape the future (Olsen 6). In other words, Emily’s success managed to reduce the weight of accumulating guilt, pressuring the mother’s shoulders and, thus, earning maternal approval.
Witnessing the Boundless Arrogance in Everyday Use
The family reunion showcased in Everyday Use can be viewed as the peak of Mrs. Johnson’s disapproval of Dee’s behavior. Before Dee’s visit, Mrs. Johnson did not intervene with disturbing tendencies of her daughter’s character. As mentioned earlier, she might have disagreed with Dee but always kept it hidden and never challenged Dee openly (Walker). However, there is a limit to everything, and even Mrs. Johnson’s patience and ability to cope with circumstances was not enough to tolerate Dee’s disregard for her sister. In particular, Mrs. Johnson made it plain that Dee could freely change her name or decide who she wanted to marry (Walker).
Nevertheless, her self-centered attitude has to end when it comes at the expense of other family members (Walker). In this context, Dee’s achievements might be viewed as a success from the Feminist perspective, that is, strong feminine confidence and self-affirmation. However, they triggered Mrs. Johnson’s accumulated feelings of disapproval, resulting in discord between the two.
Conclusion
The upbringing, financial circumstances, and outcomes in these stories are closely followed by the accumulation of feelings of guilt and disapproval, resulting in support and reflection, respectively. In I Stand Here Ironing, the mother cannot devote time and finances to provide for Emily, prompting her to search for any opportunity to aid her daughter. Thus, when Emily finally succeeded, the mother could only rejoice. In turn, Dee did receive sufficient maternal and financial support but took it for granted.
Consequently, it became impossible for Mrs. Johnson to maintain the status quo, and she released the disapproval she used to silently accumulate for years. These two outcomes showcase the paradox of mother-daughter relationships – constant rejection turns into a positive balance, whereas constant fulfillment results in negative confrontation. It highlights how contextual such relationships are and how subjective the matter is overall.
Works Cited
Olsen, Tillie. “I Stand Here Ironing.” Jerry W. Brown. Web.
Walker, Alice. “Everyday use.” Harper’s Magazine. Web.