Claire O’Connell, the article’s author, states that everyone once felt bewildered after a good conversation, and the cause was something more than the words. She interviewed Stephen Young, the management consultant, who explained it by discovering micro-messages.
Micro-messages are all about the non-verbal part of any conversation: gestures, tone, implication, which appear in every conversation. Humans are now less aware of non-verbal aspects because of well-developed languages, yet these micro-messages still affect relationships a lot. People often get these messages while talking to a boss who writes emails simultaneously, or a spouse who focused on a TV instead of a conversation.
Stephen Young first felt the power of micro-messages at one of his jobs when a colleague discouraged him from the reactions and non-verbal sides of their conversations. He then worked on the concept of micro-messages and divided them into two categories: micro-inequities, which severely affect the addressee, and micro-advantages, which motivate and inspire him. Young states that micro-messages have a direct impact on performance: “the way someone listens to you does more than affect your feelings; it has a direct impact on your ability to communicate.” (O’Connell, 2007, p.19).
The author highlights that being aware of micro-inequities is a way to eliminate them, yet it is essential not to overact as the addressee would feel the lie under an over-wide smile. Micro-messages are important for all of the types of conversations and may be used to motivate someone to do best instead of discouraging him.
Reference
O’Connell, C. (2007). Little things mean a lot. The Irish Times. Web.