Introduction
I took more than half an hour observing people at a fast food center where I went to. It was an ordinary restaurant at around 2pm. I positioned myself at a corner where I was able to observe a wide variety of people coming in. My corner gave me a view of the customers eating. It was a perfect setting to observe a lot of age groups because it was a Sunday and everyone had either just come from church or from some leisurely activity done as a family.
Body
The first thing that caught my attention was the non-verbal communication which a teenager was giving out as his mother was scolding him. I could not make much sense of what his mother was saying because she was controlling herself not to talk aloud but it was obvious that he was deflecting and parrying all those verbal hostilities which his mother was throwing at him. One clear indication that he was not “listening” at all to the words that his mother was saying was the fact that his hands were crossed across his waist with palms closed in a fist, head tilted away from his mother, and even his feet were crossed under the table.
I had a good view of him so I could also catch the occasional smirk across his face and the rolling of his eyes – all signs that he was actually receiving the words of his mother with hostility. He was answering the questions in one word sentences which I surmise might just be a yes or a no. His mother kept on talking while he remained almost immobile with non-verbals saying that he was clammed in like a closed shell.
Meanwhile, at another table, a mother was with her two year old daughter who refused to eat anything on her plate. So I observed this Mom doing all kinds of coaching just to make her daughter eat. She smiled pleasantly at her and the toddler moved her head saying “no!” She frowned her brows and just refused to eat. The mother was getting frustrated and for a moment I I saw the frustration in her face.
She seemed obviously tired and harassed as she wiped her brows. She flung her arms as if in surrender and looked lengthily at the toddler seated in front of her. She pulled out a small toy inside her bag and gave it to her toddler. And then as if by magic, her daughter picked up her spoon and ate her food by herself. I thought I saw the young mother wiping away her tears which were about to fall. She gave a wide smile and her daughter smiled back in return. The mother embraced her toddler and they seemed to be having fun as the daughter looked completely subservient to the mother’s prodding for her to eat.
At this point, the restaurant was beginning to swell in the number of customers coming in. I became so engrossed with the mother and child that I did not see this elderly man enter the restaurant. He was seated alone and I thought that he had not much non-verbals that I could observe since he was not interacting with another person. What I saw surprised me. He had a lot of nonverbal which I noted in my notebook.
He took out his bag, brought out a plastic container full of salad made of green vegetables, tomatoes, onions, mushrooms, some cheese, asparagus and many more. He practically only bought only some juice from the counter he ate the salad he himself made. I was happy for him because I could see the effect that his good eating lifestyle has done on his body. He was lean and seemed to have clear eyes and no waist bulges. He was smiling as he gulped down his first bite of greens. He even brought his own silver fork and chewed his salad well. Here was a man so conscious about the food he ate and who seemed to enjoy being alone.
He was pleasantly happy with the food smiling and nodding his head every now and then. He was one contented being in a restaurant full of noise. After eating, he brought out a book which he also brought out and read silently. I left the restaurant and he was still immersed reading his book. Meanwhile, the teenager who was with his mother was already using his cell phone and texting someone else, while the mother with her daughter was ready to leave after his daughter had finished her food.
Conclusion
This is a very good experiment in observing people and looking at their non-verbal communication. As an outsider, I was able to see firsthand the nonverbal that were employed in each of the situations I observed. I think this is a useful exercise especially when I apply it in my own setting because I would know how to properly respond when people are in pain or are hurting physically and emotionally.
I would be able to respond to them effectively and understand where they are coming from. It would give me the edge because when I interpret their non-verbals, it would more or less be the correct interpretation of their gestures and behavior and not just my own assumptions.
My knowledge was broadened because of the different effects that communication has on people. Foremost of these learning insights is the fact that effective management of complex, situations requires an understanding of individual behavior, interpersonal and small group behavior and organizational structures and processes. Communication, especially non-verbal communication, is a very important skill used in relating with people. This determines how well one can be a good leader or a functional team member in a caring and service set up.