Introduction
The way parents raise their children differs from household to household. Some parents raise their children intuitively, without completely understanding the peculiarities of parenting and discipline styles; others have certain perceptions of what parenting should look like. In all cases, certain discipline styles that parents adopt can be distinguished. These discipline styles are based on two aspects.
The first aspect is responsiveness: how a parent responds to a child’s needs and wants. The responsiveness can differ depending on how warmly or coldly the parent responds when their child needs support. The second aspect is demandingness, that is, how controlling the parent is. Demandingness is defined by how much and in what manner the parent demands from their child, how strict they are in their demands, and how, in their eyes, a child needs to comply with them.
The discipline style the parent chooses, consciously or unconsciously, can significantly impact how a child develops and behaves. The level of harshness, aggressiveness, or, on the contrary, warmth and responsiveness shown by the parent will define how the child interacts with other family members and peers. A child’s behavior, in general, is also impacted by the discipline to which they are subjected. A child’s future relationships will also depend heavily on their relationship with their parents.
Mental health problems or the lack thereof are also related to discipline in the household. Thus, it is important to consider the peculiarities of discipline styles and their effect on a child. This paper will examine four main discipline styles: permissive, authoritative, authoritarian, and uninvolved. It will also focus on how each discipline style can impact a child.
Permissive Style
A permissive style usually occurs when parents are highly responsive to a child’s needs and wants but low on demandingness. This means that the parent is warm towards the child, addresses their emotional needs, and is emotionally involved, but the child’s limitations are limited. Permissive parents can also be called “indulgent parents” in some cases (Dewar, “Permissive Parenting”).
This discipline style is commonly perceived as one in which parents demand no discipline from their child whatsoever. The defining aspect of this parenting style is the level of control the child has. The word “permissive” implies that the parent permits most things a child wants instead of prohibiting them.
This discipline style has its advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, permissive, or indulgent, parents are highly supportive. They teach the children that their parents will be there for them and give them unconditional support in any situation, which is important. Another important thing is that permissive parents consider their child’s opinion when making any decisions concerning the child. Thus, children with permissive parents understand that their view matters since early childhood.
However, a permissive approach also has negative sides that harm both the parent and the child. Firstly, children need little structure or guidance, which young children need to develop properly (Grusec). Secondly, with indulgent parents, children are normally not assigned any responsibilities (Dewar, “Permissive Parenting”), which they must have to prepare for future adult responsibilities. Moreover, children in general are not asked to do any adult-like tasks.
Impact on a Child
A child with indulgent parents is impacted both positively and negatively. On the one hand, parents’ warmth and responsiveness are highly important for developing a secure attachment style. A permissive discipline style allows the child to be more trusting of other people and to ask for and accept emotional support. These children do not have trouble expressing their feelings and emotions, and usually do not struggle with emotional intimacy.
Moreover, they tend to demonstrate higher self-esteem and “may be more resourceful than kids raised by uninvolved or authoritarian parents” (Dewar, “Permissive Parenting”). Higher self-esteem prevents children from many mental health issues, such as anxiety or depression. In the future, they are also less likely to end up in abusive relationships.
There are, however, more negative consequences than positive. Firstly, the lack of structure and responsibilities does not give the child the opportunity to become ready for adult life. Responsibilities should be given to a child little by little, so that when the time comes, they know exactly what they are expected to do as adults (Grusec). That is why many children brought up in permissive households struggle with basic tasks when they reach adulthood. Some studies have also demonstrated that the children of permissive parents can experience higher levels of aggression and have worse academic performance (Perez-Gramaje et al, 5). These children are also highly likely to become engaged in inappropriate or even illegal behavior, such as alcohol consumption or substance abuse.
Permissive parenting also leads to internet addiction as parents put little control over children’s internet use (Karaer and Devrim 25); children can end up finding age-inappropriate content as well. Another negative consequence is problematic sleep patterns (Dewar, “Permissive Parenting”). Permissive parents do not control their child’s sleep schedule, allowing them to stay up or sleep in as long as they want, which can damage their child’s physical and psychological well-being. In general, the negative consequences of permissive parenting outweigh the positive ones.
Authoritative Style
Unlike the permissive, the authoritative style is distinguished by both high responsiveness and demandingness. Authoritative parents, like permissive parents, show warmth and are emotionally involved; they respond to the child’s wants and needs with support and open communication. They also consider children’s opinions and do not dismiss their thoughts on certain matters.
However, this style differs from the permissive style regarding the expectations for the child’s behavior and parental control. Authoritative parents set clear boundaries regarding their child’s behavior, meaning they clearly explain their child’s responsibilities. They choose carefully what actions can be permitted and what actions cannot.
At the same time, they practice flexibility when it is necessary, meaning that if a child, for some reason, does not fulfill their responsibilities, they try to understand them. They guide their child with structure and discipline and encourage a natural learning process, helping them learn from their mistakes. Positive reinforcement is one of the most common approaches in authoritative parenting.
The authoritative parenting style is the most beneficial for a child as it has more advantages than other parenting styles. Firstly, this style promotes independence in a child while not giving them absolute freedom. Children know the limits of their actions and responsibilities while knowing they have a right to make a mistake. Authoritative parents make children understand why rules are important and that they need certain responsibilities. The punishments are usually fair and not overly harsh, so a child is not scared of their parent.
Impact on a Child
Authoritative parenting has mostly a positive impact on a child. The first and most important positive consequence is that a child is steadily prepared for adult responsibilities and can easily survive in an adult world when the time comes. Children also grow up responsive to other people’s needs as authoritative parents apply inductive reasoning, explaining how other people are affected by the child’s actions (Bornstein). These children are less likely to show aggression, and they are not prone to engage in alcohol consumption or substance abuse.
Children of authoritative parents grow up with a secure attachment style and have healthy and fulfilling relationships in the future (Segrin and Flora). Anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues are unlikely to affect these children. They can express their emotions freely and support others in distress.
Children raised in an authoritative household are unafraid of acting independently and committing mistakes. Thus, they are more likely to succeed academically in school or university than at work. Another positive outcome is psychosocial competence: children tend to be more resilient and optimistic (Kuppens and Ceulemans 169). High self-esteem is also important to a child’s well-being and is fostered through authoritative parenting. Authoritative parents teach children to solve conflicts peacefully and mindfully, which makes these children good at communicating.
For a parent to implement an authoritative discipline style, it is necessary to have a high level of self-awareness and self-control. This self-control can be applied to expressing emotions, such as anger. An authoritative parent cannot explode in anger toward their child, nor can they punish them by denying them affection (Dewar, “Authoritative Parenting”). In practice, authoritative parenting differs depending on a family and a cultural background (Dewar, “Authoritative Parenting”). However, the most important thing in all cultures is communicating openly when a child misbehaves and making them understand why their actions were wrong.
Authoritarian Style
The authoritarian style is distinguished by low responsiveness and high demandingness. Authoritarian parents show low levels of warmth and affection towards their child. They dismiss their feelings and emotions and do not consider children’s thoughts and views when making decisions.
This parenting style is the opposite of the permissive style, as authoritarian parents exercise power whenever they can and put the child under strict control without giving them independence. The discipline is harsh, and the responsibilities and rules imposed on a child are not discussed. An authoritarian parent does not deem it necessary to explain the importance of fulfilling responsibilities; they believe a child should not question any orders. Punishments can be severe in this discipline style, including threats or even physical violence.
Impact on a Child
Lack of warmth and support in a parent-child relationship negatively affects a child in various ways. Firstly, an authoritarian household has a highly stressful environment. A child in a state of constant stress will have trouble with their academic performance, peer relationships, and other aspects of life. They are more likely to experience anxiety and other mental health problems.
In relationships, the children of authoritarian parents most often develop either an anxious or an avoidant attachment style. Due to parents’ irresponsiveness to their emotional needs, they can develop emotional independence and rely only on themselves in times of stress. This can be positive in some situations; however, it harms their relationships in the long run.
Another negative outcome is that children do not acquire critical thinking skills, as their curiosity is not encouraged, and they are told not to ask questions (Grusec). These children will struggle with independent thinking and decision-making, as they were always told what to do throughout their childhood. In addition, most of the time, behavioral problems are not solved with severe discipline; rather, they worsen the situation.
A relationship between an authoritarian parent and a child lacks trust, as a child knows they can be punished severely for any minor misdemeanor. Despite harsh discipline, these children still often end up resorting to substance and alcohol abuse and other harmful practices initially prohibited by their parents. Putting strict limitations without giving limitations often works oppositely, leading to a child ending up in dangerous situations.
Uninvolved Style
Uninvolved, or neglectful, parents have low levels of both responsiveness and demandingness. On the one hand, they are similar to permissive parents in that they do not limit children or control them. On the other hand, they are similar to authoritarian parents in the lack of responsiveness to the child’s emotional and physical needs.
Thus, neither the child’s needs nor boundaries are set (Li). The children of neglectful parents receive no guidance or support and have to navigate through childhood by themselves. Parents demonstrate indifference towards their children: they are not concerned with their well-being and development.
Impact on a Child
Uninvolved parenting, depending on the level of neglect that parents demonstrate, can be severely damaging for a child. Neglectful parenting usually takes place in dysfunctional families where other issues are present, such as drug or alcohol abuse, or mental illnesses in parents (Li). Thus, children are more likely to inherit this kind of behavior or problems with mental health.
Neglected children have low academic performance, poor self-control, problems when interacting with peers due to a lack of social skills; they are also more likely to develop a borderline personality disorder (Li). Low self-esteem is also associated with this parenting style (Pinquart and Gerke). This discipline style is the most harmful to a child’s development.
Conclusion
Four discipline styles are characterized by different levels of responsiveness and demandingness. Permissive parents are responsive but not demanding; thus, children are supported emotionally but do not receive proper guidance. Authoritative parents give both emotional support and guidance, which seems optimal for a child’s development.
Authoritarian parents are not responsive to a child’s emotional needs but are highly demanding, which can cause mental distress. And finally, uninvolved parents are not involved in their child’s development in any way. Overall, authoritative parenting seems the most beneficial for a child’s well-being and success.
Works Cited
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