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The Three Parenting Styles Essay

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Updated: Nov 1st, 2019


Parenting is a stage of life that comes about when one gets children to bring up. It is natural and there are no manuals or rules to parenting as people just learn about it as they go. Though there are many ideas on how to bring up children some will be individual based, others from their own parents while others will adopt ideas from their friends. Parenting styles can be described as the ways parents use to parent their children (Aunola et al 217).

Psychologists have therefore established three different parenting styles that are used by parents either with or without their consent. The parenting styles, permissive, authoritative and authoritarian are usually based on the communication styles, disciplinary strategies as well as warmth and nurture. This paper is therefore an in-depth analysis of the three basic parenting styles used by most parents.


Being permissive entirely means not being strict. This style of parenting is where the parents let their children to make decisions on their own. Most of the control is left in the hands of the children themselves, though the parents come in to make a few rules if any.

Nevertheless, the rules made by the parents are not meant to tie down the children and are thus not consistently enforced (Then 1). Parents using this parenting style usually want to make their children to feel free. They also tend to accept their children’s behaviour and acts regardless whether they are good or bad.

This is because they tend to feel unable to make them change hence choosing not to be involved with their children’s lives. Therefore, this parenting style is characterised by a lot of affection and warmth as the children are not subject to punishment no matter what they do. The good thing about this style is the fact that communication is always open and parents are able to discuss anything with their children.

This parenting style has been described to be not the best as children require proper guidance as they grow and being left to choose what they want on their own could make them make the wrong decision which could affect their entire life. However, children who are critical thinkers may grow up being good decision makers as they have been exposed to such conditions before.


This is the opposite of the permissive style of leadership. In this style the parents set up clear-cut rules and guidelines which are deemed to be followed by the children. The parents therefore expect their children to obey them or else get punished. Nurturing is very rare in this leadership as the children are rarely left free. The parents tell their children what to do and make decisions on their behalf without explaining to them (Then 1).

Parents using this style tend to focus more on the negatives rather than the positives such that a child who fails in school or wrongs is severely punished or scolded while the one who has exemplary passed is rarely praised. The children who grow up under this parenting style do not learn to think and do things on their own thus find it very difficult to make decisions later in life. This parenting style is mostly applicable to children who are very stubborn and need to be closely monitored.


This parenting style is also referred to as the democratic style as parents help their children to learn about themselves, being responsible for themselves and their behavioural consequences (Iannelli 1). This style is described as the best as it is a blend between permissive and authoritarian parenting styles. Parents using this style using set the necessary rules and enforces them while taking each situation as it comes.

The democratic parents usually want to make their children understand why they are being punished because of unacceptable behaviour or breaking up of rules. It is because of this reason that punishment is usually discussed with the children before being implemented. As a matter of fact, parents and children work hand in hand thus ensuring that the children respect their parents while the parents do not oppress their children as well. Conflicts under this parenting are handled in a reasonable manner without hurting either party.


The parenting styles discussed above are applicable depending on the views people hold for each. Each of the three parenting styles has its own merits and demerits. In the permissive parenting style the parents have adequate time to do what they would wish to do since they are not constantly monitoring the children (Spera 2).

Chances of separation in such a family are very high since people develop their own different lives. In the authoritarian parenting styles children tend to be very respectful thus parents have low levels of stress. The democratic style on the other hand is very involving for the parents as they have to be on toes and talking with their children to keep the unity of the family.

Works Cited

Aunola, K., Nurmi, J.and, Stattin, H. “Parenting styles and adolescents achievement Strategies”.2002- Journal of Adolescence, 23, 205-222

Iannelli, Vincent. Parenting Styles. 2004- April 17, 2011. <>

Spera, C. “A Review of the Relationship among Parenting Practices, Parenting Styles and Adolescent School Achievement”. Educational Psychology Review, 17, 2, June. 2005.

Then, Joseph. Three Basic Parenting Styles. 2011- April 17, 2011. <>

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