Creating conditions for the socialization of a child among peers is an important aspect that adults should consider. In his article, Pearlman (2013) describes the experience of his younger brother, who, being shy and unsportsmanlike, began attending the football section at the initiative of his parents. However, despite an opportunity to develop physically and make new friends, the child was forced to spend most of the playing time on the bench. The author blames the child’s coach, who, by following ambitious motives, did not want to let the boy play (Pearlman, 2013). The key argument is that in trying to create conditions for the social adaptation of kids, adults often seek to fulfill their own unfulfilled desires, and unhealthy competition robs the child of self-confidence. The raised topic is essential because involving children in team sports is a common practice, which, however, can bring not only benefits but also some difficulties in socialization and problems with self-acceptance.
Adults’ mistakes leave an inevitable mark on children’s lives, whether they relate to routine social aspects or career prospects. A child who knows little about the world and cannot rely only on one’s own strengths is forced to rely on the opinions of those who have already realized themselves and gained life experience. The practical skills and knowledge of adults, however, are not always applied rationally because different motives can serve as behavioral or decision-making drivers, thereby causing biased and subjective opinions. When acquiring incorrect social interaction patterns from childhood, a kid grows up to be a person with complexes that leave an imprint on his or her later life. Pearlman (2013) argues that, in trying to help a child succeed, adults are “focused on the result, while forgetting the value of the journey” (para. 8). In addition, the author notes that parents often ignore children’s interests and act as if their own lives depend on the athletic success of their son or daughter (Pearlman, 2013). Unrealized ambitions and attempts to prove to themselves that they are capable of raising strong-minded children to turn all adults, without exception, into ruthless coaches.
Although children are completely dependent on their parents, they have the right to independently choose their leisure time and those activities that not only develop them but also bring them joy and pleasure. Forced participation in sports or other types of leisure activities may cause the child to abandon athletics for good since the experience of coercion will develop a psychological barrier in him or her. Individual potential can be realized not only through competition but also through self-development so that the child understands that the path to success is a personal achievement. In addition, by participating in those leisure activities that adults impose, children are unlikely to strive for victories; conversely, their interest is discouraged, and they cannot understand their roles. Pearlman (2013) insists that a child should be willing to engage in hobbies that bring joy and self-development. Moreover, in the context of sports, the author notes the concept of “irrational competitiveness,” which implies the kid does not feel pleasure from the struggle imposed on him or her (Pearlman, 2013, para. 10). Therefore, giving the right to choose is a wise adult decision.
The feeling of victory is enhanced if the child realizes that his or her efforts have paid off, and when interacting in a team, the kid may experience uncertainty and anxiety associated with unjustified expectations. With regard to sports games, stronger and defter teammates often ensure victory, which is ultimately awarded to the entire team, regardless of personal contribution. Failure to meet the demands of an adult coach can be traumatic and may lead to attendant difficulties, including detachment from life and an unwillingness to communicate. Cohesion in a team is achieved only if each of its participants is ready to support the other, regardless of abilities or individual skills. Pearlman (2013) recounts his own basketball experience and recalls how negatively he was influenced by personal failure when he was unable to help his team. He also notes that “the unity and togetherness” in sports can manifest themselves not only on the pitch but also outside it, which, however, contradicts the idea of ​​direct on-site competitions (Pearlman, 2013, para. 9). Thus, for a child to grow up mentally healthy, this is crucial to consider their roles in the team.
Forcing a kid to participate in team sports is an unwise decision of parents, who may cause him or her psychological trauma and problems with self-acceptance. Unjustified expectations, stress, the lack of interest in sports, and some other factors are objective reasons to give a child an opportunity to choose a hobby to their liking. Pearlman’s (2013) idea that kids should not be coerced into satisfying adults’ ambitions is reasonable and valid given his and his brother’s experiences. Upon growing up, children do not get rid of their complexes and fears; they hide them, which, in the end, explains the popularity of psychologists’ services and their efforts to mitigate problems stemming from childhood.
Reference
Pearlman, J. (2013). Why I don’t want my kids to play team sports. The Wall Street Journal. Web.