Introduction
It is a well-known fact that every human demands some time to develop their individuality. The greatest part of psychologists agrees with this point of view. As for my personal development, I must say that it was rather a difficult process, because it took much time and efforts of people who surrounded me. The life of every child is much more difficult than the life of any adult person sometimes. I looked at the world in different way as I do now and I must say that I saw oppositely different colors. The brightest process of the development of my personal features was the process of sexuality development.
It should be admitted that there are different opinions about the ways of personal development. These distinctions are caused by the different understanding of meaning of society and social groups for the personal development, and also by different understanding of the stages of development, the crises of development.
There are many different theories of personal development and each of them explores the problem of personal development in different way. For example, the psychoanalytical theory describes development as adaptation to the biological nature to the life in society, the developing of some protective mechanisms and the developing of some protective mechanisms and the ways of demands satisfaction. Here the theory of Z.Freud should be mentioned. The theory of features is based on the opinion that all the individual features are formed while living, this theory deals with the process of development of features and the process of stabilization of them. It should be noted that this theory is subordinate to the non-biological laws. Social theory of personal development deals with the interaction between people. The humanistic theory of personal development describes the personal development of the process of “I”-formation.
Besides the discussing personal development from the point of view of any theory there is a tendency of integrating approach – discussing the personal development using different theories. This approach includes several conceptions.
One of such theories is the theory of Erickson who supported the epigenec principle: the genetic stages which are common for every human. Erickson described eight life psychological crises. They are the crisis of trust-untrust (the first year of life), independence against the doubts and shame (2 – 3 y.o.), initiative against guilt (3 – 6 y.o.), working activity against the inferiority complex, the personal recognition against personal conformism. These are the stages which deal with the periods of childhood and adolescence. (Hall 121)
The psychological difficulties while personal development
In my opinion the period of adolescence is the most difficult in human life and I think that it would be interesting to discuss the attitude to sexuality with the help of personal development theories. As it was mentioned above it is one of the most important issues in the life of every person.
Depending on the specific social conditions, culture, those traditions that exist in the upbringing of children, this period can be of different content and different duration. Speaking about me, it continues up to 16 and was quite interesting. I must say that I passed all the stages described in psychoanalytical theory by Z.Freud. I do not remember the oral stage and the anal one because they finished at the age of 3 and it is difficult to remember what was happening at that time because I did not realize myself as individuality.
I had all the difficulties that are common for teenagers. The greatest number of children with so-called “School maladjustment”, i.e. not able to adapt to the school (it can be characterized by the low achievement, poor discipline, frustration of relationships with adults and peers, the appearance of negative features in personality and behavior, negative subjective experiences) are experiencing the period of adolescence. (Shaffer 280 – 292)
Sexuality as one of the main problematic issue
Speaking about the event in life that had positive impact I must say that it was my sister’s wedding. I was nine years old and I really was not aware of the problem of where children come from. It was quite difficult for me to imagine all the issues concerning this problem. I must say that I suspected that it had something in common with the feelings of love but I could not imagine that people could be so close to love each other. When I found out that my sister was going to get married I was very glad because I knew that it would be a great celebration. But really I was very surprised to find out that my sister was pregnant because I knew that wedding comes first and then children are born. It was impossible for me to know that it was on the contrary. I was very curious about this problem and I asked my parents aout this. They did not know how to explain this to me and decided not to speak to me about this. It was a great shock to me and I was very upset, I felt that I was lonely and that nobody was going to share the secrets. It was the time when I tried to protest everything and it was the start of sexuality developing. I think that this experience was rather positive because it encouraged me to read more about sexual relationship and love.
The attitude to sexuality changes in this period greatly and this is caused by the period of pubescence. Usually it comes with the stage of latent stage, according to Z. Freud.
This period is characterized by intensive growth, increased metabolism, and a sharp increase of the glands. This is the period of puberty and related rapid development and restructuring of all organs and body systems.
Puberty is the main characteristic which explained my psychological peculiarities: hyperexcitability and the relative instability of the nervous system, inflated claims turning into arrogance, overestimation of possibilities confidence, etc. And it is really so because from my own experience I remember that is was so easy to fly into a passion if I did not like something. Especially I conflicted with my parents even if I knew that they were right. I remember that I did not understand the essence of sexuality and I did not take into account the advices of adults. First of all I did not understand what sexuality means. At first I thought that it is a number of features which made me sexual for the opposite sex and it is really right, I understand it now. But my greatest mistake was that I thought that everything should be expressed in my appearance and did not think that behavior is much of sexuality.
Sexual development is inseparable from the total development. Puberty is not just a phenomenon of biological character, but it is also social. The process of puberty affects adolescent behavior indirectly, through the social conditions, for example, through the status of adolescent among the peers, their relationships with adults and etc.( Schultz 85)
Asserting themselves as belonging to male and female, teenager becomes a man, or a woman. This suggests a more broad and deep spiritual and social maturity. It is possible to influence the adolescent behavior only through the transformation of social conditions.
If the younger teens increase sharply the number of negative actions: disobedience, stubbornness, pugnacity, in later adolescence their number decreases, teens are becoming more balanced, they feel better. I remember that when I was 13 I was in conflict with everyone and everything I met on my way but later at 16 I reacted totally opposite. For example, my parents’ requests and the pieces of advice were met by me in a very negative way, and there was always a conflict between us and later I just listened to them and understood that it is the easiest way to avoid the conflict between us and then I did what I considered to be right.
It is worth mentioning that teens are becoming attentive to their appearance. I remember that I was very sensitive to the remarks about my appearance, and I was confused when I was told about anything concerning my body.
A sense of maturity and need for recognition produces a new problem for an adult and a teenager in the relationship with each other.
I, claiming for the new right, wanted to expand my right and to restrict them from adults, with a heightened sense of self dignity, conscious of themselves as someone who can not be suppressed, and humiliated.
I actively resisted the claims that limited my independence, opposed the custody, control, claimed to respect for my personality and human dignity, confidence and tried to prove my independence. I was actively seeking for equality with adults.
I think that in order to develop the right attitude to sexuality the relationship between adults and teenagers should be based on friendship, cooperation, respect to the trust and assistance. The key to their relationship should be a commonality of interests and cooperation in various spheres of activity. And an adult should act as a model and a friend of a teenager in the position of equal assistant.
By the beginning of adolescence two systems of communication are formed: relationships between child and their peers, on the one hand, and with adults – from another. The positions of adolescents in these systems of communication are different: the unequal (with older) and equal (with peers). The equal status brings satisfaction and is a source of cooperation with their peers in various activities.
The changes in the attitude to sexuality bring some changes to the content of communication. The adolescents are interested in the issues of interpersonal communication, the development of individuality.
It is important to note that in childhood we always pay attention to such indicators and knowledge and intelligence and in the period of adolescent personal qualities are more important. It is more important for a teenager to have good communicational skills. And one of the main roles in this is played by sexuality.
Conclusion
In conclusion it must be said that sexuality is the complex of emotions and impulses, characterized by a specific genus of sensual pleasure, and all the bodily organs and functions, as they are long or occasionally associated with a specific range of experiences. Sexuality affects the whole psychic life, since the teenager discovers the completely new side of themselves. In the psychological analysis of adolescent sexuality should strictly distinguish between sexual interest and sexual desire.
Sexual interest belongs to the theoretical aspect of personality. Sexual problems of adolescence lie in the fact that they see the phenomenon only from a theoretical point of view without a psychic experience.
The thoughts of any adolescent revolve around physiology and anatomy. It is a complex mixture of sexual fantasy, and sometimes lust. Next the reading of the “educational” literature comes. The teenager begins to develop in the sexual sphere. a powerful counterbalance in the form of ideal aspirations might help, which however should be awakened before this intoxication. But the worst thing is when a teenager under the influence of the moment makes the subject of deep feelings their sexual pleasure.
I must say that it was rather difficult for me to see the border between sex and love especially after my sister’s pregnancy. But it had a positive impact on my striving for knowledge in this sphere.
Works cited
Hall Calvin S. and Campbell John B. Theories of Personality. Wiley: 4th edition, 1997. Print.
Schultz Duane P. and Schultz Sydney Ellen. Theories of Personality. Wadsworth Publishing: 9 edition, 2008. Print.
Shaffer David R. and Kipp Katherine. Developmental Psychology: Childhood and Adolescence. Wadsworth Publishing: 8 edition, 2009. Print.