Introduction
The book focuses on the concept of positive discipline and the use of practices in the process of education. Positive discipline is a method developed by Jane Nelsen, Doctor of Pedagogical Sciences, for parents to teach their children about acceptable behavior at home in a determined and kind manner. At a time when many traditional methods focus on punishment, positive discipline is linked to the internal locus of control. According to Nelsen et al., positive discipline is about instructing, educating, preparing, training, skill-building, and focusing on solutions (p. 1). Among other things, this approach to parenting helps to develop confidence in children.
Main body
The book is divided into two parts, the first part being “What is Positive Discipline,” which describes the principles of this method of education, theoretical foundations, and fundamental concepts. Among them is the need to understand what is behind the child’s behavior, set clear expectations, and be consistent. Once the parent knows what drives a child’s behavior, they can solve the problem in a much longer-term way. Once the rules are in place, it is vital to implement and consistently follow them, regardless of personal emotional factors and biases. This practice is best for the family in the long run. According to Nelsen et al., “you should control yourself, not your child” (p. 50). The most effective way to teach good behavior is to be a model. There may be strict rules in the family, but at the same time, teaching the child to follow them kindly and generously is only possible if the parent controls his or her emotions.
The second part, “Positive Discipline Solutions A-Z,” provides practical solutions to real-world situations with a positive discipline approach. It is essential to understand that sometimes, a child tries to be as good as possible when it is perceived as bad behavior by a parent. It is crucial to find the real causes of such behavior, to eliminate them, and to reassure the child. Among other things, Nelsen et al. believe that positive behavior should not be backed up by material rewards, as this can lead to erroneous associations (p. 26). According to the author, the best reward for a child is the time he spends with his parents.
Among the aspects of the book that I like the most, I can mention the structure and form of writing; the book consists of a large number of short chapters. The emphasis on the practical use of the material in the educational process is also admirable. The book is not full of abstract concepts, and provides specific answers to specific questions, definite solutions to the situations described. Among the practices and methods listed by the author, I like the emphasis on the fact that children should not be compelled to pursue their parents’ life views, dreams, and desires. Nelsen et al. believe that parents should follow their dreams and support their children following their own (p. 29). However, I did not like the advice of avoiding labels and drugs, for example. According to the author, a large number of behaviors, which are commonly associated with conditions such as ADHD, depression are normal and occur as a result of parents’ improper approach to parenting. I believe that, although such examples exist, this position promotes the denial of the possible presence of disorders that are minimally dependent on external factors.
Conclusion
I would recommend the book to future and current parents, as well as to people who plan to become them. In my opinion, the principles described by Nelson are productive and contribute to the upbringing of a confident, well-rounded, and positive child. This approach also helps the child to become an independent and self-reliant person. The style and structure of the book allow it to be used in the practice of parenting, returning to it when faced with a particular problem.
References
Nelsen, Jane, et al. Positive Discipline A-Z: 1001 Solutions to Everyday Parenting Problems. Potter/Ten Speed/Harmony/Rodale, 2007.