As the old proverb that has its roots in the Bible goes, “He that spareth his rod hateth his son” but a more conventional version known to us is as follows: “Spare the rod and spoil a child” (Proverbs 13: 24). Still, no matter how it may sound, the words do not change the main meaning of the proverb that supports and approves of corporal punishment of children for their benefit. Though many people disapprove of physical discipline as they tend to consider it inhumane, their position may be considered spineless in many cases and negative consequences may outnumber the positive ones. The main difference between discipline and child abuse lies in the motivation and main aim of these two kinds of treatments are sometimes mistakenly put on the same footing though they are not identical as discipline does a child nothing but good while child abuse is a detrimental treatment of a child that should be condemned. Thus, positive motivation and the ultimate aim of discipline completely differs it from negative motivation and egoistic aims of an offender in case of child abuse, while discipline may and should be kept, child abuse should be condemned.
The first proof of the justice and reasonableness of discipline is that it is permitted by law to be considered to be the most authoritative source to consult. Gardner and Anderson state that “parents and other persons in loco parentis may use reasonable amounts of force in disciplining children” (123). If law is the source that helps to maintain order and peace in society and people apply laws when they need to resolve various conflicts, the permission of establishment of discipline with children can be treated as an authoritative one. Considering the issue of law, it is necessary to mention the state of affairs in Sweden that has laws prohibiting physical punishment as the tool for establishment of discipline. However, there is no difference between the USA and Sweden in “severe, or abusive, violence against children (National Research Council. Panel on Research on Child Abuse and Neglect 130). This fact proves that there is no ground to claim that physical discipline begets child abuse.
Since the primary difference between discipline as positive means of upbringing and child abuse as negative practice is motivation, it is necessary to consider positive motivation of a parent who applies discipline in contrast to a parent who abuses a child out of some negative motivation. The parents who establish and maintain discipline have such intentions as to prepare a child for his/her future independent life and proper discipline instills adequate behavioral patterns of a child. Pickhardt states that if a child has outgrown corrective discipline, “he still needs your [parental] instruction” (262). Maintenance of discipline helps to teach a child how to make correct choices, how to tell right things from wrong things. Parents, who provide adequate discipline for a child, often use their personal example and since this is a common practice at the workplace because, for instance, Hirano asserts that “discipline is best taught by example” it may be very helpful for a child in the future when he/she becomes an employee (38). In contrast to positive motivation of parents maintaining discipline with their children, child abuse is typical of egoistic parents motivated by their own comfort since “abuse was seen as a distorted, destructive way of coping with the stress of parenting” (Starr and Wolfe 58).
One of the main differences between discipline and child abuse is that the first is non-violent while the second is violent. The concept of discipline is multifaceted and it should not be reduced to physical discipline only. Discipline is sufficient and adequate when it employs such methods as reasoning and discussion of the situation and possible ways of behavior that are appropriate. Discipline is built on the ground of mutual respect and it never requires submission. In contrast to it, all forms of child abuse are violent and humiliating; they damage a child’s personality as well as mental and physical health for the purpose of total submission of a child.
The opponents of discipline who tend to claim that it discipline merges with child abuse and who assert that maintenance of discipline is inhumane adopt too critical point of view. There are “alternative systems of instruction and discipline” that let parents abandon the idea of physical punishment (Fontes and Conte 130). However, there is the risk that too lenient parents who set no limits and requirements for their children may bring up a person who will appear troublesome for surrounding people and will feel uncomfortable in society. Inability to fit into the norms and requirements may become a consequence of absence of discipline in childhood.
Drawing a conclusion, it is possible to state that discipline has proved to be beneficial for children as it will help them to find their place in life and society due to the development of appropriate behavioral patterns that discipline provides. Discipline is necessary to bring up a physically and mentally healthy citizen. At the same time, child abuse damages child’s physical and mental health because parents are led by wrong motivation and egoistic and violent aims.
Works Cited
Fontes, Lisa A., and Conte, John R. Child Abuse and Culture: Working with Diverse Families. New York: Guilford Press, 2008.
Gardner, Thomas J., and Terry M. Anderson. Criminal Law. : Cengage Learning, 2008.
Hirano, Hiroyuki. 5 Pillars of the Visual Workplace: The Sourcebook for 5S Implementation. New York: Productivity Press, 1995.
National Research Council (U.S.) and Panel on Research on Child Abuse and Neglect. Understanding Child Abuse and Neglect. USA: National Academic Press, 1993.
Pickhard, Carl. E. The Everything Parent’s Guide to Positive Discipline: Professional Advice for Raising a Well-behaved Child. Avon, MA: Everything Books, 2003.
Starr, Raymond, and David A. Wolfe. The Effect of Child Abuse and Neglect: Issues and Research. New York: Guilford Press, 1991.