Introduction
Loss is an unavoidable part of life, while grieving is a natural process that aids healing from the loss. There are different types of losses; loss of loved ones, property, job, physical ability, and spouses. Loss can be either sudden or predictable. Sudden loss especially of people can result from accidents, crimes, traumatic incidents, or suicide. Predictable losses, on the other hand, can result from serious illnesses, and, therefore, allow enough time for people to prepare for them. [1]
This paper identifies the features, impacts, and effects of losses and grief. It also explains ways through which one can engage with people who are experiencing the effects of losses. Furthermore, it identifies ways of giving support to people who are grieving. In addition, it points out the risks that chaplains face while supporting bereaved people.
Features and Impacts of Loss and Grief
Grief entails emotional, physical, behavioural, mental, and spiritual reactions towards a loss. [2] The emotional attributes of grief include anger, sadness, fear, denial, anxiety, guilt, loneliness, and helplessness among others. The physical characteristics involve oversensitivity, breathlessness, hollowness, dry mouth, and palpitations. On the other hand, behavioural characteristics include crying, changes in appetite, social withdrawal, insomnia, absent-mindedness, regression, and frequent sighing.
Dreams, hallucinations, confusion, and disbelief, are among the characteristics of mental reaction to grief. The spiritual reaction involves asking God questions such as, ‘why me?’Some people withdraw while others draw closer to God. The individual may also experience a reduction in faith in God, making it difficult for an individual to read the Bible, worship, or pray.
There are other sub-divisions of grief: normal and abnormal grief. Normal grief has all the characteristics that this paper has discussed so far, while abnormal grief is chronic and has various risks. [3] Abnormal grief can result from taking too much time to recover from a loss or incomplete adaptation. There are five types of abnormal or complex grief; chronic, delayed, exaggerated, masked, and disenfranchised grief. The risks of complex grief include suicide, murder, mixed feelings, stillbirths; if the individual is expectant and frequent hallucinations and imaginations. Psychologists and psychiatrists have developed various theories to help in the process of grieving.
Most of them agree that the process involves denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Grief has a great impact on an individual who experiences a loss. It allows one to be emotional. The emotions help an individual to forget the loss. In the grieving process, individuals should allow themselves to feel all kinds of emotions about the loss.
Engaging People Living with Losses
Engaging with individuals who are grieving due to losses requires many skills and extensive sensitivity. Chaplains giving care to people who have lost their loved ones need to have good listening skills. The chaplains’ support makes them feel good. [4] It makes them realise that people care and listen to them. In addition, pastors should know about the grieving individuals’ opportunities and strengths, and use them to encourage them.
This mentorship will give them a reason to live. It will also motivate them to continue with the healing process. Since listening helps create a good relationship between the grieving individual and me, I will come up with ways that will help the individual manage the feelings that arise from a loss. I will ask questions that focus on immediate concerns and needs. Handling these needs will help eliminate negative thoughts such as suicide from the individual’s mind.
Caregivers should not judge the grieving individual. This practice is important as it makes them comfortable and free to talk about their feelings without fear of judgment. It is necessary to give genuine responses to these individuals politely and sensitively. I would use various verbal and non-verbal skills to connect with grieving individuals. These skills include courtesy, professionalism, sensitivity, and empathy. I will also use gestures, facial expressions, and eye contact. In addition to these non-verbal cues, I will give them personal space to think about their problems. These non-verbal expressions will encourage the individuals to keep talking. They will notice my attention and will be motivated to talk. It is essential to encourage the individuals to help them narrate their stories and give their concerns.
Supporting Grieving Individuals and Identifying Potential Healing and Growth
I will assist grieving individuals by listening to them with empathy and encouraging them to feel comfortable during the healing process. I will form a group of counsellors to counsel grieving individuals with me. Counselling such people in this manner helps share their experiences among many people. I will direct them on how to deal with the various experiences and feelings. I will also avail myself of telephone counselling services for grieving individuals who cannot manage to meet me in my office.
My availability will encourage them to seek help during the grieving process. Individual counselling is also important to people who are grieving as it helps attend to every individual’s specific needs. I will also give them spiritual counselling to help them strengthen their faith in God. It is possible to give spiritual counselling to both individuals and groups. It mainly entails studying the Bible, praying, and worshiping. This exercise will bring them closer to God, whom they will consult as they proceed with the process of grieving.
Identification of potential healing and growth involves certain steps. Identifying various characteristics of grief will help me determine the potential for healing and growth. Individuals having symptoms of normal grieving have a higher chance of recovery than those with abnormal grieving symptoms. [5]I will refer Individuals with suicidal minds to counsellors for help in coping with their situations. The progress that an individual shows in our sessions can also serve as a way of assessing the potential of growth and healing. People who can let themselves feel emotions heal faster than people who lock away their emotions and feelings.
Risks that Chaplains Face while Offering Support to Grieving People
Chaplains are prone to various risks while offering support to people who are grieving. These risks include compassion fatigue, minimal supervision, and lack of access to external experts such as psychiatrists, who could also help them in the healing process. [6] They are also prone to emotional disability and secondary trauma, which might result from observing other people’s behaviours. However, people suffering from losses can prevent the risks through self-care, acquiring external expertise and support, maximum supervision, and backup support mechanisms in case of emergencies.
- HN Wright, Experiencing Grief, B&H Publishing Company, Nashville, 2004, p.3.
- ibid, p. 4.
- M McKissock & D McKissock, Coping with Grief HarperCollins Australia, Sydney, 4th, 2012, p. 2.
- ibid, p. 3.
- Wright, p. 4.
- McKissock, p. 4.
Bibliography
McKissock, M, & McKissock, D, Coping with Grief. HarperCollins Australia, Sydney, 4th edn, 2012, p. 2.
Wright, HN, Experiencing Grief, B&H Publishing Company, Nashville, 2004.