Covert Rehearsal
I would like to practice a new conversation about work issues with my colleagues from another department. The discussion might occur in the cafeteria at lunch. When I stand close to those who are already talking, it is apparent that I can hear their conversation. I can join the conversation at any time, especially if my statement makes the conversation more interesting. This could be a remark, a well-posed question, or a nice compliment. For instance, I can use prepared phrases such as “Sorry, I do not quite understand what you mean?”, “I have been in this area for a long time, but I have not heard such an interesting opinion.” It is better to plan such a conversation because it helps introduce something to talk about at the next meeting or stay current with updates and bring new information to other colleagues (André et al., 2017). The physical surroundings, including tables, food, and large surface affect positively as long as while eating, the human body is relaxing, and a person feels safe.
Covert Practice
I start the conversation with the phrase: “Well, how is your week going? Busy with projects?” A colleague from another department replies: “They are busier than usual because we are now working on improving technologies and introducing new devices into the team’s work.” Next, I can say, “Sounds interesting. I did not know you were managing this as well. What exactly are you doing?” This beginning of the conversation makes it clear that I do not know what precisely this employee is doing.
Nevertheless, this way, I can start a conversation about his or her tasks and the team’s work. If the person turns out to be talkative, perhaps they will describe in detail what another department deals with, and I will have something to talk about at the next meeting. Meanwhile, if a person remains uncommunicative, then I can talk about my work experience. During the conversation, I can ask: “I think I didn’t quite get the last thought. Could you explain again?” I will show that I am involved in the discussion and contribute to an equal dialogue. It is essential to stay calm, trying to control adventitious movements, including tapping a foot or playing with my hair. One of the variations of surroundings is the large and light cafeteria in the organization, in which during lunchtime, there is a possibility to meet colleagues from other departments.
Reflection
Before starting to speak, I collected my thoughts and tried to calm myself down. I counted to ten, breathing slowly and deeply. First, I had to relax and manage my feelings and dispose of doubts and other negative thoughts. I had to convince myself that there is nothing strange about feeling anxious when all the attention is on me. The more I control my emotions and words, the better I will maintain a dialogue. In the beginning, I pretended that it is much easier to voice my opinion than it is; gradually, communication has ceased to seem complicated.
It is essential to develop communication skills, for example, looking the other person in the eye and speaking in the clear and convincing language. I asked myself, what is the worst-case scenario if I speak my mind? Once I have carefully considered all the reasons that have not been declared before, they cease to seem like real obstacles. It is also important not to speak in hints but to express a point of view so that the interlocutor does not make efforts to guess what I mean.
Shared Behavior Rehearsal
Rehearsing the conversation helps me feel more confident as planning allows me to identify weak points in the dialogue. While repeating the behavior, I began the talk and continued until I stopped to speak due to unawareness of what to say next. After that, I started from the very beginning and I did it repeatedly until I was able to maintain the conversation without hesitation. I was not satisfied at first; nevertheless, after training, I was sure I could succeed in further conversations.
Reflection on Observations and Reactions
The most effective way is to rehearse in front of a live audience, so I asked two of my close friends to listen to me and maintain the dialogue. As I am interested in my friends’ opinions, I received good feedback, which strengthened my self-esteem. One of my friends said that he could not relate to the idea and he did not agree with it; I could find out the reason without hesitation and fear to hear criticism. This allowed me to understand that it concerns his view of the situation, but not my personality.
Reflection on Planning
An awkward moment occurred when I said the first words. When I was preparing a conversation plan, everything inside my head looked logical, harmonious, and understandable. However, an unpleasant fact may come out when speaking in front of the audience that as soon as I start to utter the text aloud, the logic does not work as planned, people may not understand what I am talking about, and, so, I can be confused about the content.
To get rid of the fear of expressing opinions, every time a person wants to convey some message, it is necessary to make a conscious effort of will to decide if the idea is exciting and should be voiced. That is, a person needs to begin to evaluate feelings independently, and over time, dependence on others’ opinions will weaken.
Reference
André, B., Nøst, T. H., Frigstad, S. A., & Sjøvold, E. (2017). Differences in communication within the nursing group and with members of other professions at a hospital unit. Journal of Clinical Nursing, 26(7-8), 956-963.